At first it may seem difficult to think about creativity in the context of NLP; because while NLP provides a set of intrapersonal communication techniques used to uncover the structure of specific mental states or strategies, creativity is usually seen as a state of spontaneity and insight. How can we possibly find a structure for something that is typically viewed to be a random stroke of genius?

The Disney Creative Strategy

The most popular NLP technique designed to enhance creativity is the “Disney Strategy,” (4 page PDF) first modeled by Robert Dilts based on his observations of the famous Walt Disney.

“Dilts noticed that Disney had three separate approaches to his creative work and he alternated between these roles, which Dilts identified as Dreamer, Realist, and Critic. Each role has a distinct orientation in relation to the creative process: the dreamer is the place of free association, brainstorming and even fantasies; the realist is the place of action, of imagining putting the dreams into the physical world; and the critic is the place of testing the soundness of your idea’s, checking in on what will or won’t work.”

Dilts believes that we each have a part of us that can identify with these roles. However, some of us are more of one than another. What happens if we don’t find a balance?

“A dreamer without a realist cannot turn ideas into tangible expressions. A critic and a dreamer without a realist just become stuck in a perpetual conflict. A dreamer and a realist might create things, but they might not be very usable ideas without a critic. The critic helps to evaluate and refine the products of creativity.”

So the main question is: throughout the creative process how can we develop each of these roles? The answer Dilts provides says that we should set aside a time and place for each of these mental attitudes:

1. First put yourself in the role of The Dreamer. Write down any and all ideas that come to mind. Make as many freely associated connections as possible, let your thoughts just flow without any limitation or worry on how to put these ideas into action.


2. Next put yourself in the role of The Realist. Now ask yourself, “How can I put these ideas into a reality? What resources (money/time/skills) do I need?” Write these down.


3. Then put yourself in the role of The Critic. Now it is time to try and find the flaws of your strategy. What don’t you like? What potential obstacles are there? What needs improvement? Write these down.


4. Now step outside your triangle of roles. Observe your reaction to each – are you being a good Dreamer, Realist, and Critic? How can you improve each?


5. Finally create a plan of action based on these new ideas. If you want you can re-evaluate your plan of action by going through each of these roles again. What would the Dreamer say about your plan? The Realist? The Critic?

How much time you spend in each role and how you choose to “act out” each one is up to you. When I first tried this strategy I used to light different candles; this became a symbolic reminder (an anchor, for those familiar with NLP lingo) to help me get into character. You can use similar rituals to amplify your creative roles.

By the way, what do you think made this strategy so effective for Walt Disney? I personally think it is because it allows room for spontaneity and insight – but at the same time – it eventually forces you to put those ideas into a realistic context (therefore giving you a clear perspective on how to transform these ideas into the physical world).

Another Way To Deconstruct Creativity

The other day I came across an article on the blog Litemind called, “Deconstructing Creativity: The 4 Roles You Need To Play To Be Fully Creative,” and although I don’t think the author Luciano Passuello intended it, he actually came up with an upgraded version of the Disney Strategy.

The 4 roles Luciano discusses are:

1. The Explorer (be curious and alert, seek out as many inputs as possible, and talk to a lot of different people).

2. The Artist (flex your idea muscles, play, use your imagination, and integrate different concepts).

3. The Judge (be real, develop critical thinking, and be aware of thinking traps/biases).

4. The Warrior (get into action, overcome resistance, be courageous, and find out how to market and sell your idea).

Although Luciano doesn’t mention NLP, it is implicit in his writing that your aim is to step in-and-out of these different roles. Changing our perceptual position, and imagining yourself in some other character’s shoes, is considered a very important learning strategy in NLP.

Find Your Own Creative Process?

In truth, you can deconstruct creativity into as many roles as you want; it all depends on what you perceive “creativity” to be.

When we differentiate between different roles of creativity we are really designing archetypes, representations in our mind of what we believe it means to be a Dreamer, Realist, Critic or whatever. We then use these representations as a guideline on how we should think and behave.

The key thing to remember is to allow ourselves to act out each role without letting the other roles override or conflict. We don’t want our inner Critic to act like an inner Dreamer (or our plans will end up unrealistic). We also don’t want our inner Dreamer to act like an inner Realist (or we will never think of anything innovative or unique).

Because creativity is such a complex process I think it is appropriate to break down its characteristics. I recommend you first start with the roles given by Robert Dilts in his “Disney Strategy” or the roles proposed by Luciano Passuello in his article, “Deconstructing Creativity…” Once you try these you can find out how to improve these roles (or create new ones) to best suit you as a creative individual.

How Can I Make These Roles More Powerful?

Here are just a few short tips to help improve your roleplaying.

1. Model Real World Examples

Do you have a friend, family member, coworker, or acquaintance who you think makes a good Dreamer, Realist or Critic? Why not use that as a resource to improve your creative process? You’d probably be surprised on how much you can learn by pretending to think or behave as someone else for a little while.


2. Model Fictitious Characters

Same thing as above but this time pay attention to the thoughts and behaviors of characters in movies, books, or plays.


3. Use Rituals To Get Into Character

I mentioned earlier how I used candles to differentiate myself between roles. You can incorporate your own mini-rituals too to help get into character. A short meditation or visualization exercise can also be a wonderful tool to help get you in the right frame of mind.


4. Practice, Practice, Practice

The strategy discussed in this post isn’t going to make you a creative God overnight; instead it takes practice. You need to experiment with your imagination and exercise it frequently if you want to get consistently better at being creative.

When it comes to building your own business: what is more important than any MBA or college education? Networking.

Finding, communicating, and connecting with others, friends, family, acquaintances, partners, clients, communities…you need to reach out and spread your wings. Get involved and get noticed.

I’ve been trying to do a lot of this lately and it has been paying off.

One such instance is between me and clinical psychologist Dr. Rob over at ShrinkTalk.net. We have been exchanging a lot of e-mails lately discussing the origins of happiness and our talks resulted in this feature over at his site. It was really an enlightening exchange – I really believe we touched on some key points – and there has been some insightful participation in the comments section too. I recommend you check it out.

Last week I also got to have an in depth conversation with an NLP practitioner. His name is Martin Lanzas and he is especially fluent in “Time Line Therapy,” an NLP tool first designed and popularized by Tad James. I’ve been aware of this technique ever since I first read James’ book on the subject back in my freshman year at college, so it was great to hear Lanzas’ practice of it and how he applies it when working with clients. He really knows his stuff, we even discussed some aspects of marketing since we are both aspiring entrepreneurs. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have a site built yet for his services but I will definitely keep you guys up to date on this stuff in the future. Lanzas seems especially competent at handling anxieties, limiting beliefs, and habit changes.

E-mail

One of the biggest means of networking (especially on the internet) is through e-mail. Almost every website and blog has a contact page, and in many ways this is the most popular way to first get in touch with someone.

In some cases, I have had readers e-mail me asking me questions or giving me compliments. I am usually more than happy to reply. I check my e-mail about 3-4 times a day and I try to respond to anyone who provides me with any serious comments or inquiry. Spammers stay away! (not like that has ever stopped them before haha!)

Social media

Whether it is bookmarking sites like Digg, Reddit, StumbleUpon and Delicious or social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and FriendFeed I try to get involved in as much as I can. If you are interested in adding me on any of these accounts please go to my networking page for a complete list of links.

The key to being successful in social media is to be consistent but not overbearing. This means participating, but not outright spamming or flooding the site with your links. It takes balance and some time but from my experience it is the only way to get people to give a shit about your product.

Ask yourself, “What is the value others get from following me?” You need to find a way to provide value (whether it is insightful tweeting or friendly conversation on Facebook pages).

Newsletter

In the business blogosphere I always see people saying, “It is all about building your list.” Apparently most clients and potential purchases originate from people who are interested enough in your message to join your newsletter. I don’t personally use my newsletter for attracting sales, but I do use it as an important tool for marketing and building loyal traffic.

One key to building a list of emails is to offer a free product. I did this with my free ebook and it nabbed me a significant amount of new subscribers. It is also nice to set up something like this because even people who subscribe simply out of interest for your site will be greeted with a “free gift.” Something which is definitely a nice sentiment.

Another thing I would like to add is about how to keep readers on your newsletter. Your newsletter needs to be filled with content that readers can’t just get on your site; it has to offer some extra value. What I do is I like to share related links from other websites and blogs. At the same time I give a quick summary of some of my latest whereabouts.

My newsletter is mostly about sharing links but you don’t have to go that route. I’ve seen other successful newsletters focus on just providing extra content, like in the format of an exclusive article. Whatever it is you do with your newsletter make sure it adds value and doesn’t become quickly viewed as spam. That is why I only send out two newsletter a month.

Blogs

Blogs another great way to spread your wings. Not just blogging (which I highly recommend for almost any business that has to deal with people) but also visiting other blogs, leaving comments, and participating in conversations. This also means connecting with other blogs through guest posting and interviews.

I consider creating this blog a very important step in creating my own business. It gives you a tremendous power to build readers and interact with them. It is also a way to build expertise in a field you have no prior recognition in. It is a way to take up space in your niche and be noticed, especially if you combine it with other marketing mediums.

YouTube

Marketing through YouTube has become a recent exploration of mine. One thing I really like about it is that it is “personal” – people get to see how you look, how you speak, and how you act. I feel much warmer inside after posting a video then writing out a blog post. Don’t get me wrong, writing words is cool and its a great way to describe big ideas but I prefer the simplicity that comes from just turning on a camera and letting your ideas flow stream-of-conscious. I think this is a great way to add personality to your site period.

Consider it. I know I will definitely be working with this one more in the future.

Skype

For those who don’t know, Skype is a software application that allows you to make free voice calls and video conferences over the internet. Apparently it can be a popular tool amongst businesses, even large corporations. I just recently downloaded it and I have been using it to communicate with some readers and friends. It is really effective and easy to set up. I also know some businesses that provide their services over Skype (such as some form of consulting or counseling – which is what I will be working with more in the future – so this is definitely not only a powerful networking tool but a business tool in general).

By the way, my Skype name is “Steven Handel” – feel free to message me if you see me on. We can audio chat or something!

Recap And Final Thoughts

Anyway, these are some of the things I have been doing to promote my blog so far. One positive thing is I haven’t spent any money yet, and yet I have already reached my goal of breaking a U.S. rank in the top 100,000 on Alexa.com.

Hopefully this is something I can sustain. As you can see I am always trying to expand in new ways so who knows where this growth may lead me. The sky is the limit.

“All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy. What right have we then to depreciate imagination.”
-Carl Jung

My inner rockstar is the latest archetype I want to manifest. Ever since I was a kid I knew I wanted to be some sort of musician, actor, or artist; in a way I still have the spirit in me.

I like having dreams. I am not afraid to follow them, and I think it is never too late to try and pursue something new unless you are resting on your deathbed cold and numb.

But who am I kidding? I am only 21 years old. I have so much time, energy, creativity, and passion waiting to manifest. I have the world in the palm of my hands. Yes, I really do – so why not aspire? Light the candles of my inner passions a little. Not just avoiding death, but living life. Let my rockstar come out!

Who is my inner rockstar?

If Carl Jung were here giving me some counseling – he would probably ask, “Who is your inner rockstar? What is his personality like and what are his values in life?”

Jung would agree that my inner rockstar is a construction of my mind: a product of my background, society, culture, attitude, and experience.

When I think “rockstar” a few key ideas pop into my head:

• Rebellion

Rockstars do what they want. They don’t take shit from anybody and if you try to suppress a rockstar’s will or desire, you bet he is going to topple over you to get to where he wants to be. This rebellious attitude is so often what impressionable children and teens find so attractive in rockstars.

• Exploration

Whether it is in the tour bus or sitting in the studio, rockstars are always exploring. Exploring new sounds, new themes, new artwork, new ideas. Once they put together a CD they begin touring; seeing new sides of the country, maybe even getting a chance to travel to Europe and Japan if they are big enough. Being a rockstar is both an exploration inwards (artistically) and outwards (socially).

• Spontaneity

Jamming on stage is spontaneous, meeting new people backstage, having fans come up to you in five star restaurants, trying to keep the fellow bandmates from strangling each other during another long bus trip. Living the life of a rockstar, you never know what is going to happen next. Life can be hectic, it can slap you in the face from time-to-time, but it is a sign that you are alive and in the fast lane. It may bring you moments of pleasure and pain, but they certainly won’t be dull.

• Leadership

Rockstars often have big egos, which isn’t necessarily a good thing, but it is a price to pay when you are put in a position of power. You are in the limelight. People and paparazzi follow you around asking questions and concerns. You have young teens and adults coming to your shows, feeling inspired, using your music as a gateway towards a more fulfilling life. In some ways, a big rockstar can be even more influential in shaping society than most politicians.

• Enjoyment

In the end I think a lot of people just want to become rockstars because it looks fun and enjoyable. Think about how much better your life would be if you got to do something that you absolutely loved each and everyday of your life. You’re getting paid massive amounts of money to play guitar, bang away on the drums, or scream into a microphone. If you have never had the urge to play an instrument before, or if you’ve never had the dream to make a living doing what you love…get the fuck out of here… you are lying (don’t take my harsh words too seriously – I am just in my rockstar mindset).

I don’t want to over psychoanalyze my inner rockstar. Just become more aware of it. I want to discover which characteristics about the idea resonate with me most. I want to activate that “little me” that has been hiding inside, as if it were a little switch in my mind that I could just flip ON.

Using archetypes to build character

Of course it would always be nice to be a real rockstar. But I don’t seek to be other people, I seek to be a better me. And using role models (even in the form of abstract symbols or archetypes) can help guide us in improving certain aspects and characteristics of our life.

Let’s say for example that I wanted to be more spiritual. I could consciously create an archetype in my head by integrating different aspects of all my favorite spiritual leaders. People like the Dalai Lama, Buddha, Gandhi, Robert Thurman, Thich Nhat Hanh, Lao Tzu, Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Osho, Mooji, Jesus, etc.

Then once I created this prototype of a spiritual leader, I can begin to extrapolate certain characteristics that I find are universal about it:

• Compassion and loving-kindness towards others.
• Dedication to one’s practice.
• Calmness and patience.
• Wisdom and acknowledging the unknown.

This is just a rough start, but as you can see you can create an archetype fairly quickly – just open up Microsoft Word and start jotting some things down. The idea here isn’t to yearn to become one of these other individuals, but to extrapolate a lesson from them. To use their example as an inspiration to be more like them.

I may never be a real rockstar…but it doesn’t matter, because the point is that what I really want is more rebellion, exploration, spontaneity, leadership and enjoyment in my life. That is where this archetype comes in handy.

Energy flows where attention goes

When I bring my inner rockstar into consciousness I am simultaneously giving it life. As the popular Huna saying goes, “Energy flows where attention goes.” Even just the simply act of writing this blog post is beginning to awaken these new facets of my rockstar being.

I could expand further by meditating on my inner rockstar – imagining him in different situations and how he might think and behave. This act of visualization is a great way to send attention (or energy) into different actions one can do to build character. In mentally prepares me to manifest these new rockstar tendencies throughout my day.

In particular, I believe that wakening my inner rockstar will help facilitate my motivation, allow me to take more risks and strive to achieve greater things, like stuff within this blog, in my social interactions, and in my daily habits.

Here are some fantastic ways to “draw energy” from your archetypes, some of which have already been touched upon in this article:

1. Write about them. That is what I am doing here.

2. Meditate/visualize/contemplate. Use your thoughts and imagination to awaken your mind to new possibilities and new ways to act.

3. Roleplay. May sound a bit silly, but by acting out your archetypes you are building up your neurology towards these new behaviors.

4. Integrate into your life. Can’t just spend all your time thinking, imagining, and role-playing in your room. Now it is time to incorporate these into your daily moment-to-moment existence.

Change only occurs through effort

Everyone who is involved in self-improvement is looking for that magic pill. Let me tell you what it is. Are you ready? Bring your face closer to the monitor…

If anyone could follow the law of attraction and be famous, successful, and happy…then everyone would be. But I am not going to sit here and tell you that using archetypes will change you over night. They require work and dedication to build.

The “Archetype Route” of growth and healing

All of that being said: I don’t think the “archetype route” for personal development is necessarily the best route for everyone. It depends on what you want to change.

If you only want to change a behavior – stick with habit-building techniques: 30-day experiments, classical conditioning, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and mindfulness.

But if you want to make a personality change you need to dive deeper. You need to learn how to see through the eyes of different minds.

Archetypes and role models are a great resource for that.

There was actually an old NLP technique I learned through an acquaintance (if anyone can remind me of the name of the technique it would be really helpful).

The technique went something like this: create a mental experience of an interview between you and a role model in your life (presumably some sort of expert). By asking them questions and filling in the answers (all in your mind’s eye), you would be taking part in a creative cognitive mechanism for solution-building. Theoretically, it could be used for any kind of problem-solving: business, relationships, health, or spiritual growth.

Humans are actually very good at dissociating from themselves and getting into the minds of others as an evolutionary trait (it is know as theory of mind). We love it. We do it all the time. Think about it: we even role-play every night in our dreams, and when we don’t get sleep for a long period of time we begin hallucinating.

Minds like to imagine things, and I think cognitive scientists should focus more research on imagination as a general mechanism for effective human learning. Even Einstein used a thought experiment (by imagining himself chasing after a beam of light) which aided in the development of his theory on special relativity.

There have also been some studies showing how dreams play an important role in consolidation of memories. It would be interesting to see what other cognitive benefits our imaginations may have.

Building archetypes should probably be considered an “advanced cognitive skill.” I don’t do them myself, but I know that they work and I know how they work.

However — I’m going to try and use this blog post as motivation to further explore the power of archetypes. Particularly this inner rock star idea. From a general standpoint in my life, I want to be more rebellious, explorative, spontaneous, leader-like, and just enjoy myself more. So I am going to continue to use this symbol as a tool of inspiration. I will try and meditate on it a couple times a week and see what fruits it reaps.

I am sure that if you have ever heard of self-hypnosis than you have seen those audio CDs that hypnotists so often sell to their clients.

Depending on how good the hypnotist is in writing scripts that are effective towards a mass audience, these audio tracks can be productive instruments for personal development. I have used several myself, including those by Hypnotica, Paul McKenna, and Richard Bandler (it was an old track he did in the 80s I believe, I don’t think he sells them anymore). Also note, none of these are affiliate links nor do I necessarily endorse buying any of their products.

In this post I want to show you how to create your own hypnosis audio, not as a product to sell, but as an exercise in personal development.

Materials needed

• Some kind of microphone, MP3 recorder, or way of recording your voice.
• Basic audio editing software (Audacity is a popular free one. There are probably some options that come with your computer too – I used Garageband.)
• If you already have some talent with music feel free to incorporate that.

What is hypnosis?

Think of hypnosis as nothing more than suggestion. Whether you are talking to a friend, listening to something on the radio, watching a movie, or just thinking a thought – you are being suggested some sort of idea.

Bad hypnosis is when the suggestion doesn’t hook. It goes in one ear and out the other and we remain unaffected. Maybe we were just too bored or apathetic to really pay attention to what was being suggested or our critical mind found the suggestion to be bogus.

Good hypnosis is when a suggestion captivates you and creates a change. It is like being moved by a really compelling movie. Anything that peaks your interest and makes you tune in more intently can be considered a form of good hypnosis, like a compelling speech or even watching the World Series. It concentrates your attention and keeps your mind engaged.

How do affirmations relate to hypnosis?

A popular form of hypnosis within the personal development niche is affirmations. When the technique was first introduced as a tool for psychotherapy by Emile Coue in the late 19th century, when it was first called autosuggestion.

If you don’t yet know what an affirmation is it is basically this: you create suggestions for yourself towards certain changes in feelings, thoughts, or behaviors. For example:

• I will be more friendly to people I don’t know.
• I will try not to overreact when I get angry.
• I will spend more time at the gym.
• I will pay better attention to my eating habits.

These are all affirmations but you can structure them in all kinds of different ways. Different language patterns may be more or less effective depending on the suggestion and the person being suggested to. Since you are writing your own suggestions, you should experiment and find what ways work best for you.

Writing your own script

What types of suggestions do you think will work best on you? This part takes a bit of experimentation and practice. You won’t necessarily nail it your first short.

Some people are more suggestible when they are being directly commanded to do something: “Be a better listener! Study more! Watch less TV!”

Other people are more suggestible when they are given options to compare, “Imagine what your grades would be like if you didn’t study more? Now, imagine what your grades would be like if you did study more?” This is called an indirect suggestion – because there is an implicit message that your grades would most likely be better if you studied more.

For your first script, I recommend trying out both direct and indirect suggestions. Don’t be afraid to also incorporate things to visualize by starting sentences with,

• “Picture this….”
• “Visualize that…”
• “Imagine if…”
• “See what happens when….”

The more vivid you make your suggestions, the more captivating and effective they will be. People who have a naturally tendency towards good story telling or a strong imagination will have a distinct advantages over those who don’t – but it is a skill that we can all develop with practice.

Try to make your first script a good 2-3 pages, double spaced, 12 sized font. This should make your hypnosis track about 5-7 minutes if you pace your delivery appropriately. You can structure the script in different ways or you can make it more stream-of-conscious – it really depends on the message you want to get across. Some scripts are designed to drive home a single point or lesson, while others are designed to simply develop a general good sense of well-being and motivation.

The voice and delivery

Voice and delivery can be important in how suggestible your message is but again it depends on the type of suggestion and also the person being suggested to. Your tone matters. For example you wouldn’t want to screech out “Relax!!!” when you want someone to be in a relaxed state. Similarly you don’t want to have a boring and apathetic voice when you say, “Be sexy and fun around others!”

Experiment, experiment, experiment! Sometimes listening to a slow and drone-y voice can heighten your trance, while other times it can put you to sleep. You don’t want to fall asleep. You want to be engaged. Hypnosis is most effective when it is an adventure. Add different colors and dynamics to your voice to amplify the importance of the message and keep your attention fixated.

When you read the script (or even if you are doing an impromptu script) you want to role play the experience as you speak it. You want to be there as you tell the story. The more engaged you are when you deliver, the more engaged you will be when you listen back. It is just a basic rule of all good communication.

How to butter up your final product

Once you are done recording the main script, there are certain things you can do to make the listen even more attractive and enjoyable.

You could add music that compliments the message. Good music for hypnosis should fit well in the background and not take away from the language of the track. It should be designed to create a certain mood or feeling. Sometimes a sense of inspiration or awe can make the strongest impression.

You can create another overlaying script. Often practiced in the form of “dual induction hypnosis,” it is when two hypnotists are giving suggestions at the same time. With the wonders of modern technology, you can create a dual induction all by yourself. With some basic audio editing you can even pan one voice to the left and the other voice to the right. So you will have a different exchange of suggestions going into each ear. This can be used as a way to create stimulus overload, often resulting in confusion, which is a very great way to amplify trance states.

Add effects to the voices. A little bit of echo and reverb never hurt anyone. Sure, it may make your voice sound like some robot from a cheesy 80s scifi movie, but it can make your voice easier to listen to and be fixated on. For “edginess” you can add some distortion or flanger. Most basic audio-editing softwares (including Audacity which I recommended above) have some pre-packaged effects that you should be able to use.

Do panning and volume changes throughout the track. This may be something that only experienced audiophiles can do, but by having your voice shifting between speakers and changing volumes is one really fantastic way to keep your track engaging.

My example

You can download my first attempt here (approx: 10:20, 14mb) . My original intention was to do a dual induction: with self-improvement suggestions on one side and world-improvement suggestions on the other side.

I didn’t write a script for this one, just recorded each track individually, stream-of-consciousness. Each recording was 10 minutes and then I just overlapped them and added some reverb, echo, and distortion (only because I felt my voice sounded too dry and weak without the effects).

After the scripts were recorded I created a simple synthesizer sample using Reason (it is a program for electronic music makers). I basically improvised an organ/space-y synth sound to go with the suggestions.

Things I learned to help improve future recordings:

• I need to make my voice more animated.
• The music is a bit cheesy and simple, but it does have an interesting drone/trance-inducing effect.
• Because I didn’t write a script, the message of the audio is a bit scattered and incoherent. Creating this kind of confusion isn’t necessarily bad for creating a hypnotic effect, but writing a script with something more coherent and structured is usually better.
• There will always be room for improvement whether it be writing better scripts, stronger vocal delivery, or even becoming a more intent listener to the final product.

Things I learned from the creative process in general:

• Making your own self-hypnosis tracks can be really fun.
• The act of putting together the project in-itself is a great exercise in personal development.
• It is a great way to express yourself.

Listen to it

Once you finish your creation you will probably be eager to listen (and re-listen) to it. I recommend doing this whenever you have time set aside to let go of your earthly obligations; it could be early in the morning before you get to work or late at night before bed.

Try listening to it every other day for a week and then continue with it on a weekly basis. Consider it your daily mantra or prayer, a healthy reminder of the things that matter to you in life and the things you want to improve.

Don’t be afraid to also listen to it with a critical eye. Jot down some ways you can improve your next recording. Pay extra attention to which suggestions “clicked” with you and which ones just passed by. Work on developing better language, better delivery, and more colorful and dynamic tracks. Follow these principles and you will be the king of your world in no time. I mean it.

Those who are haunted by feelings of loneliness, anxiety, fear, worthlessness, or hate – open your ears wide – because I want to share with you something that I find is a very important factor in overcoming any kind of depression.

Depression can be a vicious cycle. It can feel like there is no way of breaking it because everywhere we are and in everything we do it lurks within the shadows of our existence. In certain moments life may feel more bearable than others, but those dark feelings often come back. It is as if our being is trapped in this bubble of gloom.

But it is just not so. Depression is a reaction to an event or set of conditions in one’s life, all of which are just as transient as the flicker of a smile on a child’s face or the rising and setting of the moon.

Like all experiences, depression is felt moment-by-moment. You can probably already identify different UPs and DOWNs within your depressive state. It is always moving. It is always changing. It is always evolving and manifesting in different forms.

But it is not like a train without a conductor. There is a way to be a part of the process and change the direction you are heading. Here are some guidelines I found most useful in overcoming my own depression. I hope they have a similar effect on you.

Gratitude towards suffering

Why be grateful for suffering? It sounds a bit counter-intuitive – but perhaps that is part of why you have not been able to let go of these feelings for the past few weeks, months, or years.

But there is something to be grateful for. If none of us experience suffering or depression or loneliness from time-to-time, it may be that we aren’t truly alive. For those things are all a byproduct of consciousness itself and life is something to be grateful for.

Some may choose a path of suicide in order to relinquish themselves from this massive suffering. But this is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and it denies the greatest gift we have: the breath of life. Without which we are in a state that is much worse than depression – nonexistence.

The breath. The breath that connects us to our world. That cool air that comes in through our nostrils and screams “I am! I exist!” What a beautiful thing it is to be a part of that. I often argue that life itself is the greatest gift we can receive in this world or any other. Depression is but one aspect of this incredible existence, and despite its pain, it is something that we can show gratitude towards. I don’t want you to just accept that you are depressed, but be thankful that you have had the opportunity.

What disturbs can motivate us towards growth

When I was depressed several years ago my life turned completely grey. I can swear that when I look back at those times there was no color in my world at all. There was no brightness or zest for life, just dullness and apathy. It was my first year in college. I had no friends. And being the incredibly introverted person that I was it was difficult to make contact with anyone. I had a roommate, but he was a junior with a girlfriend so he spent all of his time with her. He never stayed in the room for more than 30 minutes at a time (usually to take a shower or pick up some books). But he never even slept in his own bed – he was basically nonexistent and I had the room to myself. In retrospect, it was a potentially good thing that I had wasted, but during that time it only amplified my ability to isolate myself from everything and everyone.

I only left that vacant dorm for two reasons: classes and food. And during the deepest depths of my state I recall crossing the streets without looking, hoping for some car to hit me just so that I could once again feel something – some sort of life, at best it might even rid myself of this shitty existence for good.

At least during those times when I left my dorm I was around people. But the most discomforting moments were the times laying in my bed, unable to sleep, and thinking how much longer this could last before I would have to end my life. When the thought first entered my mind I was shocked. I never considered myself someone who could end their own existence. Surely, it couldn’t have been that bad? How would I even have the guts to do it?

It is within these deep states of contemplation where a catalyst for change often emerges. I knew I had two choices: run away forever or mend things back up and strive for the excellence in life I had always dreamed of as a little boy.

How to see depression

In my recent ebook “Mental Health, Energy, And Human Alchemy” (which you can get for free if you subscribe to my newsletter), I describe negative states as valuable signs telling us what areas of our life we need to pay greater attention to. At least that is how my depression worked for me.

My depression felt everlasting – I felt powerless – but when I dived into those feelings, thoughts, and memories and I explored them with full intent I noticed that my mind was trying to tell me something. It was telling me, “something has to change, this current path is unsustainable and you need to find what dissatisfies you and overcome it.” Most importantly my mind was saying, “This doesn’t have to be forever. This can be defeated.”

Depression was the cocoon to my butterfly.

Thus I began to search for clues; I turned my depression into an adventure. I began reading the words of NLP co-founder Richard Bandler and his predecessor the American psychiatrist and hypnotherapist Milton H. Erickson. These two had a refreshing perspective on mind. They saw it as an entity that is designed to work for you, not against you.

They saw all emotions, thoughts, feelings, beliefs as tools. They could be learned, developed, and understood like anything else. They weren’t there to contribute to your demise – they were there to benefit from.

Depression wasn’t just a result of a pathetic life, it was the first step towards happiness.

This way of framing mental illness blew my mind wide open.

Mental health is the development of skills

Time is moving, we call it life. Things are always changing. We study those things and call it knowledge – science. As sentient beings we have the capacity to learn about these things – to retain them and apply them to our life to improve our conditions. We are the only beings we know of that can adapt in such intricate ways.

We have beliefs, perspectives, values. These are tools. We use them in the same way a carpenter uses a hammer to make a building. Like other tools, they are human inventions and also imperfect. They only work in certain situations and when they become outdated we use newer technology.

The belief that depression is just another one of the many stepping stones of life. That is a skill. It is a change in perspective that takes work to accomplish. You can’t just read these words – understand them – and believe that you are better (although certainly that is a positive step in itself).

In fact, any kind of mental health is hard work. Whether you are reading affirmations or taking 1mg of Clonazepam every day, there are no magic potions to cure most mental shortcomings. They often originate through a variety of different biological, psychological, and social factors; that is why you need to put in the effort to developing different skills of seeing your world and how you act in it. When things are serious, your whole life needs be implemented in new ways.

This concept I am proposing to you is no different. You need to practice it and be consistent in order to integrate it into the new you. This is no different than the lessons Richard Bandler and Milton H. Erickson taught to their students.

The belief is this: no matter where you are you are on the right path.

Non-duality

Think of the symbol of the Yin-Yang for a second:

It is an amazing illustrations on the play of opposites in our daily life. The dynamics and evolution of being.

Also, note that even on the side of dark there is a bit of light, and on the side of light there is a bit of dark. I think this very strongly alludes to the concept of nonduality that is so prevalent in eastern philosophy. The idea is that while two things may seem distinct and separate, they are actually one in the same.

Instead of thinking of depression as a separate entity to happiness, we should see them as part of a single continuum. Again, this is actually one of the key concepts I go over in my new ebook.

But in fact you can apply this idea to any mental shortcoming. Here are just a few quick examples:

• Depression is the first step towards happiness.
• Ignorance is the first step towards knowledge.
• Confusion is the first step towards understanding.
• Anxiety is the first step towards confidence.
• Hate is the first step towards love.
• Darkness is the first step towards light.

Infinite wisdom

As you can see the ideas in this post aren’t anything new. They have been around for ages and are still being echoed today. These voices should never die. Everyone should know that things work themselves out; that everlasting change is not only our friend but our nature.

To learn more about my thoughts on the spiritual aspect of change please check out my article, “This Too Shall Pass (A Lesson In Impermanence),” where I begin with a great Jewish folktale on Solomon’s ring.

If you are interested in knowing more about the philosophy of Non-Duality I recommend this article by Bhikkhu Bodhi on Access To Insight (a very great site all around).

Never stop exploring and always see the light in the dark. Make your life heroic.

P.S. I am not a psychotherapist, but if you do want to talk to someone about your depression I am always available at stevenh@theemotionmachine.com.