What are intrusive thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are involuntary and unpleasant thoughts, images, or ideas that pop into our mind.
They are a common symptom in those with anxiety, depression, OCD, and PTSD; however, the truth is most people experience intrusive thoughts from time to time.
Common intrusive thoughts are usually associated with aggression, impulsive urges, and sexual fantasies. And although intrusive thoughts are rarely acted upon, they are often considered “inappropriate” by the person thinking the thoughts.
As a result, many intrusive thoughts can lead to strong feelings of guilt and shame, even when the person never physically did anything wrong. Fortunately, there are ways we can accept these thoughts without letting them have too much influence on our mental health.
Some intrusive thoughts you may have are:
- Thoughts or impulses to harm or kill ourselves.
- Thoughts or impulses to harm or kill a person, small child, or animal.
- Thoughts or impulses to shout out or verbally abuse someone by saying something rude, inappropriate, nasty, or violent.
- Thoughts or impulses to do something very risky or dangerous.
- Thoughts or impulses regarding inappropriate sexual behavior.
- Thoughts or impulses to do something we find morally wrong.
There are many different examples of intrusive thoughts, but these are some of the thoughts most commonly associated with the term. For the remainder of this post, I’m going to share 3 steps we can follow to let go of these types of thoughts and limit the power they have over us.
Step 1: Accept your thoughts in the moment.
The first step toward letting go of our thoughts is by accepting them. It is pointless and unhealthy to pretend that we don’t have intrusive or negative thoughts every now and then. And by trying to run away from these thoughts we are only deluding ourselves.
In fact, we invest more energy in these thoughts when we try to avoid and suppress them, rather than just acknowledging that they are there. And by running away from intrusive thoughts, we actually give them more power over our well-being.
The purpose of thinking is for our minds to produce new and better ways to respond to our environment. Some of this thinking is conscious, but a lot of it is unconscious. Our brains are constantly working “behind the scenes” to think of new and better ways to behave.
Sometimes, as a byproduct of this creativity, our brains think of some really bizarre and inappropriate ideas – intrusive thoughts. Thoughts that surprise us and make us ask ourselves, “Did I really just think that?” because they seem so out-of-character.
The answer is, “Yes, you really did just think that, and that’s okay.” Intrusive thoughts can often be a side effect of a healthy mind. And just because you have intrusive thoughts from time to time doesn’t mean you have lost your sanity. It means your brain is being active and creative – although maybe sometimes a little too creative.
Remember, just because you accept the thought doesn’t mean you need to act on it.
Step 2: Watch your thoughts from a non-judgmental state of awareness.
As explained above, intrusive thoughts are a natural occurrence. Therefore we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves for thinking bizarre and spontaneous things once and awhile.
It’s common for intrusive thoughts to be followed by feelings of guilt and shame, but try to understand that there is nothing to feel guilty over. After you accept your thoughts, try to watch them in a non-judgmental awareness. Don’t necessarily react to them or judge them as “good” or “bad.” Just sit back and passively watch them as if you were watching a movie.
Step 3: Ride out your thoughts until they subside.
If you watch your thoughts long enough in a non-judgmental state of awareness, you’ll notice that they eventually “ride themselves out” without much effort.
This is because our thoughts are always changing. Our mind is always going in new directions. So if we can be patient and wait long enough, intrusive thoughts will often go away all on their own.
In mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, there is a technique known as urge surfing that operates on this same principle. The main idea is that our thoughts and emotions are impermanent – they are in a constant state of flux. Therefore, even negative thoughts and emotions will eventually subside when we allow them too.
Through urge surfing we can remain non-reactive to our intrusive thoughts until they eventually become less intense and disappear. It’s analogous toward “riding out” a wave in the ocean. If we can remain balanced within the ebbs and flows, we can more easily navigate safely through the waves. In the same way, if we can remain patient and calm in the midst of intrusive thoughts, we can better overcome them.
It’s not always easy to disengage from intrusive thoughts, but with practice we can learn how to more easily let go of them. Once we learn how to do this, it doesn’t mean we won’t ever have intrusive thoughts anymore, but they will at least have a lot less influence over our mental well-being.
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I think this works and I think it is important too.
I wonder though if paying attention to the intrusive thoughts might be important sometimes. I guess this depends on what they are about and how realistic (or wildly unrealistic) they are.
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Here I would like to add one example of intrusive thought. There are people who are going to harm us, emotionally, in future. I feel that fears of such situations where we are being inflicted emotional pain by some people also comes under intrusive thoughts. By keeping ourselves busy and being alert to divert our mind when such thoughts occur is also important.
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Grief can bring on intrusive thoughts. Its not the same as depression. It is not often discussed. Depending on the type of death, violent, tragic or long illness,etc. all most all those same emotions can be experienced.
You really don't have much choice but to ride it out I guess or go join your loved one. One step at a time.
What do you do when your intrusive thoughts are real? They play over and over in your head. I wear my mask, but I am tired. My heart is broken.
My son was killed by a train.
I don't believe there's any one answer for such a tragedy, but to say that such thoughts and feelings may honor his memory.
I firmly believe in URGE SURFING. It works.creating parallel pathway for our thought process is also helpful..
I believe the kind of thinking you describe is referred to as "intrusive thoughts:
Some people may experience "pure obsessional OCD" in which they report experiencing obsessions without observable compulsions.
These obsessions often manifest as thoughts, impulses or "mental images" of committing an act they consider to be harmful, violent, immoral, sexually inappropriate, or sacrilegious.
For individuals with pure obsessional OCD, these thoughts can be frightening and torturous precisely because they are so antithetical to their values and beliefs.
I don't think if you discussed these thoughts with your doctor or therapist that the therapist or doctor would be shocked.
The kind of thought pattern is not at all bizarre or unusual, according to my understanding, and is indeed treatable.
There is a long way between intrusive thoughts and acting on these thoughts.
We often feel that the thoughts, feelings and behaviours we experience are unique and no one else in the world has ever experienced this, so it becomes one's deepest darkest secret.
You can be assured, your therapist will support you when you talk about this, and once you are re-assured the diagnosis is not unusual, and that the diagnosis actually has a name, the weight of a thousand tons will have been lifted from your shoulders.
I would persuade you to start a conversation with your doctor of therapist about this on your next visit.
If you need some help on starting that conversation, we can do some role playing here to help get you started.
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Change of a life style for a healthier one always is a good way to brake the line of thinking. Every time someone feels trapped in the same thought pattern, he has got to change the scenery: wake up earlier, exercise, try to memorise a piece of a poetry every day, do something creative, change your style, the way you wear your hair, your clothes, go swimming, museums. Try to stay away from alcohol, under the effect of the toxins you are not much in charge of your own brain. It is not easy, but usually these thoughts take place when there is a void in your life, when you have too much time to think, when you don't balance well your daily activity. Also practice the contrast shower, it's very good for you nervous system. Good luck.
This seems like a natural occurrence that if we accept as normal, will be easier to deal with. Thanks for sharing you steps on how to let go of these thoughts.
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I got a lot out of your article.
I hope that it might help with a recent problem I have developed. I have been taking aricept for a head injury I sustained from a car accident last year, and a side effect of the drug is very lucid dreams that are very disturbing.
I think that as we get older, we develop skills to control our thoughts in our dreams and dream the way we prefer or in a way that has meaning to us. Unfortunately, this side effect I am experiencing has stripped me of my control and I am having terrible nightmares as a result. They have lingering effects on my mood during the day and I am going to have to develop a technique to deal with this.
Any ideas?
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this things really works. thanx for the post. gonna help many people in their life…
that's what my shrink said to me – don't judge myself on those thoughts. i need to separate me from the depressed me, otherwise i pull myself to shame
thanks for this guideline too
Noch Noch
Nice and easy procedure. Thanks . Now I am feeling better about my thoughts
Love this. Nice.
I am sorta rediscovering your blog here, and I keep wondering what 'intrusive thought' made me not subscribe to it way back when I first discovered it! (I think it was your comment on my blog that lead me here etc etc)
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But now, I ride with it, and still do what I should have done some time ago
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nice article. it is very important for one to remain non judgemental towards thoughts and immediately one finds that he is separate and his thoughts are separate.