Dealing with a breakup is never a pleasant experience.
It hurts to have to let go of all that time and energy we dedicated to a person, but it’s better than letting a negative relationship continue.
Fortunately, there are ways we can make a breakup easier and less painful. This post will teach you key things you can do to help overcome a bad breakup.
Give yourself permission to grieve
Losing a relationship is painful and there is no reason to deny that.
Therefore, feeling grief is completely healthy and natural. And we should give ourselves permission to experience it when it’s appropriate.
Trying to avoid our grief can backfire on us. It’s an attempt at denying the reality of a situation, which can only lead to more pain and suffering in the long-term.
Don’t let your negative feelings build by ignoring them. Instead, accept them in the moment, and let them take their course. Only then can we truly let go.
Forgive yourself and your ex partner
I think forgiving both yourself and your ex is really important in overcoming a bad breakup.
Often I’ve found myself looking for someone to blame for my breakups, but it’s not necessary and just adds insult to injury.
You two weren’t compatible, things didn’t work out. You had some amazing times, but you grew in separate ways. So sincerely hope that your ex finds happiness in their future and that you find yours. No grudges, I mean it.
Learn more in How to Completely Forgive Yourself.
Keep moving forward
If you stay at home all day and stop socializing, you’re just going to find yourself ruminating over the breakup and beating yourself up over it.
Sometimes the best thing to do is get out of the house: go for a walk, go to the gym, catch up with old friends, go to bars, movies, concerts, and start dating again when you’re ready.
Keep yourself active, not as a means of distraction, but to re-awaken yourself to everything else there is in life – because there is a lot of awesome shit going on in this world and one person can never ruin that for us.
Keep it civil
Breakups can bring out the worst in people, so it’s important that we try to keep it as civil and respectful as possible.
When emotions are high they can cause us to do irrational things, so we should be extra cautious about how we approach any situation involving our ex.
You may be tempted to gossip, or talk trash, or even seek revenge in some way, but that will often make things worse for both you and the other person.
Instead, bite your tongue and don’t be mean. Don’t turn your breakup into a competition or battle – be the bigger person at the end of the day.
Give each other space
If you just had a breakup with someone, then it doesn’t make sense to still be hanging out with them every week, or texting, or calling.
The whole point of a breakup is that you two aren’t good together, so giving each other space should be commonsense, even if it is sometimes difficult.
Maybe you guys can still be friends, but you first need to get over your romantic feelings.
Spend time with other people. Spend time with yourself. But don’t get trapped into thinking you “need” to be around this one person to be happy. You don’t.
Don’t check their Facebook or Twitter
This is related to “giving each other space,” but it’s a specific problem among our generation: don’t check your ex’s Facebook or Twitter page.
There is little to gain from knowing what your ex is up to, who they are dating, or who they are hanging out with. You’re only going to torture yourself and over-analyze everything.
Now that the breakup is done with: focus on your life and your future, don’t cling to the past.
The truth is relationships come and go. We all experience breakups every now and then, so they are something we need to learn to deal with properly.
Discover more tools to daily growth in the digital guide The Science of Self Improvement