We all need to express our feelings every now and then. And it’s good to have people who will just listen and be supportive of us when we are feeling down and in the dirt.
However, there’s a point where you can talk about your problems too much – and even become addicted to your negative experiences and emotions.
For example, a recent study shows how we can sometimes become addicted to negative emotions like grief and disappointment. And another study shows how painful experiences can even activate “pleasure centers” in the brain.
Perhaps this is because we often prefer feeling “something” rather than “nothing” – even if it happens to be a negative and painful experience.
In the same way, many people depend on their problems and drama to feel alive and important. And they have to constantly talk about these problems and share them with others.
Our patience is strongest when we have a healthy expectation of future difficulties and obstacles in our lives.
Patience often comes with accepting that struggles and hardships are a part of life, and it thereby prepares us to face these struggles and hardships when they actually happen.
I don’t believe we should anticipate that everything is going to go wrong all of the time. Of course, too many negative expectations can become a self-fulfilling belief.
However, I do think we should anticipate that some things are going to go wrong sometimes.
Being optimistic about life is important, but it has to be within reason too – we have to accept the fact that sometimes things won’t work out exactly as we plan, regardless of how positive we are.
That’s what patience is all about.
Selling yourself is something that everyone needs to learn.
Whether we are trying to get a job, or get a date, or get a gig for our new band – our lives are filled with situations where we are seeking to persuade someone or “win them over.”
Often times “selling” comes with negative connotations. We imagine sales people as greedy, dishonest, and willing to say anything just to get a sale – but the truth is we are all sales people to some degree. And we need to be.
All selling means is to communicate the value of something. So “selling yourself” means communicating your value – and that’s an ability we can all benefit from.
The truth is it doesn’t matter how skillful or talented you are at something if you don’t know how to sell yourself to others.
It’s incredibly important to find sources of happiness in your life that aren’t tied to people or stuff.
Because you can’t always depend on “people” or “stuff” to be there for you all of the time. So if your happiness is only tied to them, it’s going to be much easier to lose that happiness when they are gone.
People come and go. You probably don’t hang out with the same people you did 10 years ago, and you probably won’t hang out with the same people 10 years into the future either. Relationships change: people move, people change jobs, people die, or people just lose touch over time.
Stuff comes and goes. Your new car eventually breaks down. Your new phone eventually becomes outdated. Your new computer eventually stops working. You lose things. You forget things. You get a short high when you first buy something, and then it quickly fades away.
When your happiness is only tied to things that are always changing, you’re going to get easily caught up in the “highs” and “lows.” In certain times, it’s necessary to have sources of happiness that aren’t tied to anyone but yourself.
Here are 3 sources of happiness that aren’t tied to people or stuff.
We all have to interact with difficult people throughout the day.
It’s an unavoidable fact of our social world – there are going to be people out there who we don’t like, can’t stand being around, and who may even infuriate and enrage us.
These are never pleasant experiences, but we have to learn to deal with them nonetheless.
Often these types of people can create a lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety in our lives. Their negative thoughts and emotions become contagious and we can’t help but let them spill over into our own mental state.
However, with the right attitude we can try to minimize the negative influence that difficult people can have on us.
Here are important ideas I try to remind myself whenever I’m interacting with a difficult person. Keeping these things in mind can help make you more calm and understanding regardless of who you’re talking to.