30 acts of loving-kindness. Perfect for cultivating good karma, spreading good in the world, and improving physical and mental well-being for both yourself and others.
What are your favorite acts of loving-kindness? Share them in the comments section.
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So many people come to me and tell me that they can’t meditate, because it is simply too hard for them to stay focused on their object of meditation. There are two responses I usually give depending on the person asking me for help.
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1. Make note of your distraction, and then just go back to concentrating on your object of meditation. It doesn’t matter how often you get distracted, just be persistent in going back to your focal point. When most people start out, they are going to get distracted a lot. It takes practice to build concentration, so don’t jump right into it expecting to be a zen master. This can often be the recommended course of action when you are doing concentrative meditation, and trying to build your attention.
2. Another thing you can do is just drop your object of meditation, and open your awareness to whatever presents itself in the moment. Just watch and accept whatever sensations, feelings, thoughts, emotions, memories, and imaginations arise into consciousness. Don’t try to cling to any of them, or avoid any of them. Just fully accept. This can often be the recommended course of action when you are doing mindfulness meditation, and trying to gain insight into the transient nature of reality.
However, it is important to keep in mind that mindfulness and concentration are not mutually exclusive. Mindfulness is a crucial component to building concentration, because part of concentration includes becoming aware of aspects of an object that you weren’t aware of previously. There is a super focus on the object of meditation, but also a peripheral awareness of what else may be going on that isn’t immediately brought to attention. So while practitioners often draw a distinction between Concentration and Mindfulness types of meditation, remember that they can be intricately interrelated.
For a good beginner’s exercise in concentration I recommend the 100 Breaths Meditation. However, for this post I want to elaborate more on objectless meditation, which describes a more “open awareness” of the present moment.
Objectless Meditation
Objectless meditation is when we acknowledge whatever rises into consciousness without trying to react to it. Sensations, thoughts, emotions, memories, and imaginations may arise, but we don’t cling to them or avoid them – we just let them be. Objectless meditation is a full acceptance of whatever the present moment has to offer, without any particular directing of attention.
There is no telling where your awareness may bring you, and every meditation is going to be different. At times, your mind will shift to the sensations in your body, perhaps an itch on your nose, a pain in your lower back, or the growling of an empty stomach. Other times, your mind may shift inwards and reflect on passing thoughts, such as “What am I going to eat for dinner?” or “I need to put out the garbage tonight.” Or, perhaps your awareness will shift toward a sound in the room, a smell, or a gust of wind against your skin.
When in this state of “open awareness,” it is likely that some things will enter into consciousness that we may want to ignore or suppress. Perhaps an unpleasant thought, emotion, or memory will arise that we want to avoid. The difficult task, however, is to accept these experiences without putting a judgmental label on them. When we feel anger, depression, grief, or frustration, we should accept those feelings for what they are worth, and experience them in the moment without trying to run away. As Positive Psychologist Tal Ben-Sahar once said, “We must give ourselves permission to experience the full range of human emotions.”
The goal of such a practice is to build equanimity, a deep awareness and acceptance of the present moment, and a conscious realization of reality’s transience. In other words, during objectless meditation we often find that even the most uncomfortable thoughts and feelings eventually change or pass us by. Our consciousness is always taking new forms, as one sensation leaves, a new one arises.
Similarly, we must treat positive experiences with the same sense of equanimity. It is all too easy to cling to pleasurable and blissful feelings. But they too are impermanent, and craving such experiences can lead to a source of displeasure and suffering, especially when those cravings cannot be satisfied.
Without craving positive experiences, or avoiding negative ones, we can cultivate a sense of inner peace that truly satisfies our well-being. Objectless meditation allows us to create this sense of peace from within. All we need to do is sit down and become aware of all that is happening around us, without having to judge whether it is “good” or “bad.” It just is. So enjoy the ride, with all its highs and lows, and everything in between.
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This is a guest post by Debbie Hampton of The Best Brain Possible. If you too would be interested in writing a guest post for The Emotion Machine please check out this page.
We all want just a little bit of peace every now and then in this increasingly chaotic world, right? Is that too much to ask? Most of us make little, unconscious deals with ourselves like “I’ll be happy when…..” Fill in the rest. Think about it. What are the deals you make with yourself?
I used to be a pro at this. Happiness and peace were always right around the corner. I could almost taste them. Right after I found the right man. Right after I started a lucrative career. Right after my ex husband and I got along. Right after my skin cleared up and my hair had just the right amount of curl with no frizz.
Well, I have not found the right man. I have not even started the lucrative career. My ex and I still do not get along. My skin is not any where near blemish free, and my hair is frizzier than ever. Yet, I have found happiness and peace. I have learned that these things are totally in my mind and can be cultivated in even the most painful circumstances.
In her book The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving Kindness, Pema Chodron writes:
“There’s a common misunderstanding among all the human beings who have ever been born on the earth that the best way to live is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable. You can see this even in insects and animals and birds. All of us are the same.
A much more interesting, kind, adventurous, and joyful approach to life is to begin to develop our curiosity, not caring whether the object of our inquisitiveness is bitter or sweet. To lead a life that goes beyond pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that everything turns out on our own terms, to lead a more passionate, full, and delightful life than that, we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is, how we tick and how our world ticks, how the whole thing just is.”
Pain, discomfort, and uncertainty are all a constant part of life. She encourages us to actually “lean into” these and explore what they have to teach us. In her books, When Things Fall Apart and Comfortable with Uncertainty, she outlines three methods for working with chaos and burden in life.
She calls the first one “no more struggle.” This is a regular, meditation practice in which she advises that we learn to stop fighting with ourselves, stop struggling with circumstances, emotions or moods and look at what is and what arises with compassion and a nonjudgmental attitude. She says “….drop the story line, slow down enough to just be present, let go of the multitude of judgments and schemes and stop struggling.”
If you already meditate, great! If you don’t, start ! Even if you can only do it five minutes a day, it will change your life. It has mine. There is much scientific evidence lately as to the many benefits of meditation including reduced stress and anxiety, increased relaxation, improved sleep, lower blood pressure, strengthened immune system, reduction of PMS symptoms, increased focus and attention, improved relationships and more. A regular practice actually, physically changes your brain in as little as 8 weeks recent studies show.
Second, she advises us to use the poison as medicine and as a fuel for waking up. “When anything arises – any kind of conflict, any notion of unworthiness, anything that feels distasteful, embarrassing, or painful – instead of trying to get rid of it, we breathe it in.” She teaches a practice here called tonglen which is basically recognizing with compassion and openness the identical condition of others who, in the very same moment, are feeling similar pain. Instead of pushing difficult situations away, tonglen teaches you to use them to connect with others who, just like you, find themselves in pain. It is the human condition. It is our kinship with all living things.
You do not have to be this formal or this Buddhist here. I am not. I just imagine and empathize with others in the same situation or facing the same conditions. It put things into perspective. Instead of emphasizing and enlarging the issues as worry would do, it makes me feel not so alone in my fears and challenges and shrinks them. If someone else can do it, I can too.
The third method for working with chaos “is to regard whatever arises as the manifestation of awakened energy. We can regard ourselves as already awake; we can regard the world as already sacred.” She goes on to explain that “regarding what arises as awakened energy reverses our fundamental habitual pattern of trying to avoid conflict, trying to make ourselves better than we are, trying to smooth things out and pretty them up, trying to prove that pain is a mistake and would not exist in our lives if only we did all the right things.” This attitude invites us to use everything in our lives – the good, the bad, and the ugly – as a basis for growing and learning or for attaining enlightenment in Buddhism.
Instead of asking “Why me?” and focusing on how unfair it all is, this allows me to have faith that whatever “it” is is for my highest good and that there will be some learning and growth in it. It does not guarantee me that I will enjoy every minute of it, but that the value of the experience will become evident as the events unfold. It allows me to trust that things may make absolutely no sense now, but in retrospect, it all will.
Pain is a part of life. Everyone’s life. It is never going away – for too long anyway. I have found that by changing my perception through practices such as this allows me to find peace amidst the pain.
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Debbie Hampton
A little bit about me….
In June of 2007, I had a global, acquired brain injury (ABI) resulting from a suicide attempt technically termed encepalopathy. I was seriously mentally impaired. Through such practices as neurofeedback, Brain State Technologies’ brain optimization, hyperbaric oxygen therapy, acupuncture, voice therapy, music therapy, cranial sacral massage, hypercapnia, visualization, meditation, cross lateral movement, bikram yoga, daily cardiovascular exercise, cognitive behavioral therapy and more, I have made a remarkable recovery and continue to improve.
Our brains are neuroplastic, and we can shape them and change them by the things we do repeatedly in our lives. We have much more power to recover from a brain injury, improve our brain’s functioning, and to create our own reality with our brain than we ever thought possible. Here I will tell you how I did so and encourage you to do the same.
My blog: The Best Brain Possible
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I haven’t explicitly written about meditation in awhile, but readers still frequently send me e-mails asking me to recommend good programs to teach them how to do it.
For the sake of simplicity, here is a small list of the three that always pop to mind:
- Jon Kabat-Zinn’s “Guided Mindfulness Meditation.”
- Bhante Henepola Gunaratana’s “Mindfulness in Plain English.”
- Shinzen Young’s “The Science of Enlightenment.”
In this post, I want to elaborate specifically on Shinzen Young’s contribution in helping me learn meditation. I’ll tell you a little bit about Young’s credentials, his philosophy, and what “The Science of Enlightenment” offers to practitioners of meditation, as well as those who are just starting out.
The Science of Enlightenment
The Science of Enlightenment is a 14-CD set that spans over 16 hours of lectures and guided meditations. It covers a broad range of topics, starting with the theory and history of meditation practice, its emergence in Western culture, its relationship with science, and practical instruction for applying mindfulness and other mental skills to our everyday life.
Shinzen Young defines enlightenment as “a state of happiness independent of external conditions.” The goal of this program is to teach listeners about how this state of being can be achieved.
About Shinzen Young
Shinzen Young is a meditation teacher and an ordained monk in the Shingon Buddhist tradition. He has also practiced extensively in Zen and shamanism, and he is remarkably well-versed in all of today’s major religions including Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, and Islam. He frequently integrates these different philosophies into his curriculum.
Despite Young’s spiritual and religious background however, his goal with The Science of Enlightenment is to develop a secular meditation practice that can be appreciated by a wider audience. His teachings therefore are largely compatible with theists and atheists alike.
Although Young makes use of religious scriptures and analogies to help drive the theoretical framework of his teachings, he also loves drawing connections between scientific and mathematical concepts to help explain different facets of meditation. Young also has a particular interest in neuroscience, which has led to collaborations with researchers at UCLA and the University of Wisconsin.
The curriculum in The Science of Enlightenment is part theory and part practical, and both are necessary in developing a full understanding of Young’s teachings. Some of the themes Young focuses on are:
- The importance of self-investigation.
- Common traps during meditation.
- The application of mindfulness and equanimity to daily life.
- Research about meditation and brain-wave states, biofeedback, stress, and aging.
- How meditation enhances learning, athletic performance, relationships, and emotional life.
- The history of awakening practices – from their Tribal roots to their relevance in today’s world and the Information Age.
At times the material can get advanced and technical, especially the theoretical parts. But the real beauty in Young’s work is his ability to weave effortlessly between personal stories, historical events, analogies, and scientific studies in a way that can appeal to almost anyone of any demographic or educational background. While listening, there may be times where you get lost or confused. But eventually you’ll find moments where things begin to “click.”
Like all educational material, you will have to re-listen to some tracks before you can digest everything.
One complaint I’ve seen from some listeners is that Young’s stories sometimes get too personal. For example, in one lecture he tells of a series of experiences where he hallucinated gigantic, highly realistic insects wherever he went. Material like this that can occasionally scare away novice practitioners of meditation. However, in my opinion these personal anecdotes are some of the best material Young offers; he uses his own experience as an educational tool for those who may experience common setbacks during their own practice. It is this kind of sincerity and openness that I think really gives The Science of Enlightenment its unique value compared to other programs.
The Recording of The Science of Enlightenment
I think one reason Shinzen Young’s talks are so captivating during these lectures is because of the way it was recorded. He didn’t just read from a prepared script in a lonely studio. Instead, he first wrote down a general layout on index cards, and then invited 12 or so guests to listen to him speak for about a week. This gives the recordings a feel of spontaneity and being “in the moment.”
Young describes his talks as a “brain dump of my understanding of the meditation path.” After which the studio spent months editing the material to finally present you the final presentation.
Watch Young as he explains the process in his own words:
Why learn meditation at all?
At this point you may still be wondering, “Why should I learn meditation at all? Isn’t meditation just sitting around and doing nothing?”
Of course, it may seem like that from an outside perspective. It may seem like the most unproductive and useless way to spend your time. However, meditation is becoming more and more popular everyday because it works, and people see results from inside to outside.
Meditation helps you think more clearly, it helps you become more aware of your emotions and your environment, and it improves productivity, creativity, and relationships among so much more.
More and more research is being done on meditation every year. Between 2000-2010 over 48,000 academic articles have covered the subject. We are still learning new things every year about how it affects health and well-being.
Best Place to Buy The Science of Enlightenment
If you are thinking about purchasing The Science of Enlightenment, the best place to do so is at Amazon.com. The price is $62.37, which in my opinion is a ridiculous bargain for a 14 CD set.
If you do the math, this makes it approximately $4 per CD (and each CD has on average an hour’s worth of material). In short, it’s a steal compared to the value you will get from listening to it. Therefore, I highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in learning more about meditation.
“Imagine a multidimensional spider’s web in the early morning covered with dew drops. And every dew drop contains the reflection of all the other dew drops. And, in each reflected dew drop, the reflections of all the other dew drops in that reflection. And so ad infinitum. That is the Buddhist conception of the universe in an image.”
- Alan Watts
The Theory of Interconnectedness
Interconnectedness is a critical concept in many Eastern philosophies and spiritual practices. The purpose is to illustrate that nothing is separate and everything arises co-dependently. In Buddhism, this phenomena is often referred to as “interdependent origination.” It is often used to describe the nature of existence.
Alan Watt’s spider web is a great analogy for interconnectedness. If every individual is a dew drop on a spider web filled with other dew drops, and every dew drop contains a reflection of all other dew drops, than we can say that each individual is a reflection of all other individuals. This helps describe the non-duality between “self” and “others.” We are all reflections of other personalities. Last year I tried to describe this using another analogy, “consciousness is a house of mirrors.”
Perhaps the most famous analogy for interconnectedness is Indra’s Net:
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“Far away in the heavenly abode of the great God Indra, there is a wonderful net which has been hung by some cunning artificer in such a manner that it stretches out indefinitely in all directions. In accordance with the extravagant tastes of deities, the artificer has hung a single glittering jewel at the net’s every node, and since the net itself is infinite in dimension, the jewels are infinite in number. There hang the jewels, glittering like stars of the first magnitude, a wonderful sight to behold. If we now arbitrarily select one of these jewels for inspection and look closely at it, we will discover that in its polished surface there are reflected all the other jewels in the net, infinite in number. Not only that, but each of the jewels reflected in this one jewel is also reflecting all the other jewels, so that the process of reflection is infinite.”
The Practice of Interconnectedness: Empathy
Empathy is a logical, existential and practical extension of the truth of interconnectedness. It is our “capacity to experience the same feelings or emotions that someone else is feeling.” When empathizing we are literally treating another living being as if it is a part of ourselves. Like the way our hand is attached to our body. In a moment of empathy, we are one.
Consider the implications that empathy has when we are trying to achieve happiness. If our feelings are interdependent on the feelings of others, then part of making ourselves happy is making others happy too, and vice-versa.
Interconnectedness is the metaphysical reasoning behind Buddhist morality. It tells us to show compassion and loving-kindness toward everyone, because they are no different than ourselves, and our sense of separation is an illusion.
We are all connected by virtue of being sentient beings, beings that suffer, and beings that seek happiness, meaning, and fulfilling relationships.
I think we all empathize in varying degrees. The Dalai Lama is on one side of the spectrum and sociopaths are on the other side. However, I think we can also exercise our empathy and build it up like a muscle. So even if we don’t have any experience being really good at empathy, we can train our minds to be more empathetic.
Here are some actions we can take to increase our capacity for empathy:
- Listen to others more and try to adopt their perspective.
- Do something kind for a family member, friend, or stranger.
- Donate to a charity you believe in.
- Dedicate a song or poem to someone.
- Do a metta meditation. Metta means “a strong wish for the happiness of others.”
These are all ways we can exercise our empathy right now. With practice, we may find ourselves feeling more connected with our world, more attuned to the emotions and thoughts of others, and feeling a greater sense of belonging and satisfaction. To me, these are simple practices, but they can make us much happier.
Positive psychologists identify “kindness” as one of the key Character Strengths and Virtues (CSV) that lead to happiness. According to researcher Ben Sahar, doing small acts of kindness leads to good feelings lasting much longer throughout the day than when we only act with our ego in mind. This is more proof that others happiness and well-being plays an intimate role with our own happiness and well-being – a product of empathy.
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