Social anxiety often stems from a fear of disapproval. Not just from bosses, but also from coworkers, customers, or anyone else that we may need to interact with.

This fear of disapproval can be so strong that we may avoid these situations entirely.

Research has shown that people with social anxiety are more likely to take off from work (for example, calling in sick even when they aren’t really sick). They also have higher unemployment rates and are more likely to settle for lower incomes.

Last month the unemployment rate in the U.S. held steady at 9.1%. I wonder how many of those people are unemployed because they are too afraid to step out of their comfort zone and find a job? These psychological causes can often be underrepresented in economic data.

I believe self-esteem is incredibly important to a healthy economy and healthy workers.

People need to feel confident in themselves if they are willing to try new jobs, interact with new people, and adapt to new work environments.

A person with social anxiety will often have difficulties in these areas of life. Their fear of disapproval is often rooted in the belief that they are inadequate. Instead of being judged negatively, they would rather not try at all.

This becomes a vicious cycle. Socially anxious people avoid social situations because they fear rejection from others, but by acting in this way they essentially reject themselves.

If you are socially anxious and it’s affecting you from finding a job, here are some tips:

• Remember that most people aren’t judging you. Most of the time people are too concerned with themselves than to be busy judging you. So don’t be too anxious about other people’s thoughts – there’s a good chance they aren’t about you.
• Don’t expect to please everyone. We all have our fair share of differences, and it’s unrealistic to expect us all to get along perfectly. Accept the fact that you’re going to mix better with some people over others and don’t feel obligated to win everyone over.
• Reflect on your positive traits. Focusing on your strengths can be very important in building self-esteem and overcoming social anxiety. We can overcome many insecurities by recognizing skills and talents that distinguish us positively from others. I believe everyone can discover something positive in themselves if they do some honest self-reflection. Try to make a list of 5-7 of your strengths.
• Gradually expose yourself to social situations. If you’ve been unemployed for awhile, you may feel extremely uncomfortable just jumping right into a new job. Try slowly exposing yourself to social situations again by volunteering a couple times a week. This is just one way to hone your social skills outside of a job – it can also be something positive to put on your resume.
• Learn to fail forward. Failure is often unavoidable. You aren’t going to nail every job interview. And you aren’t going to get every raise. The goal isn’t to avoid failure, but learn how to take these failures, learn from them, and persist forward. Use them as a source of motivation, not something that makes you quit.

These are some key tips for overcoming social anxiety. For more information check out The Shyness and Social Anxiety System.

However, in the midst of these complex economic hierarchies, there is an emerging generation of self-bossers, freelancers, aspiring entrepreneurs, and independent minds who don’t want to work a 9-5 or assimilate to today’s corporate culture. They want to have more control over their labor and what they produce. And today this is more possible than ever before.

Are you a self-bosser?

Are you a part of that growing minority who can’t imagine working for someone else or having a boss loom over their shoulder 24/7? Do you loathe taking orders and only cherish spending time as you see fit?

If not, that’s okay. Plenty of people are more than happy to spend their working lives under the jurisdiction of someone else. As long as you enjoy your job, it doesn’t make you any less of a person; in fact, in many ways it can be smarter, easier, and more financially stable to work as an employee for another company rather than start your own endeavor. However, this article probably isn’t for you. If you prefer working for another person’s business, but perhaps you are experiencing some trouble at your current job, then check out this article: 10 Reasons You’re Losing Your Mind At Work.

On the other hand, this post is intended for a smaller percentage of people who simply can’t imagine having to work for someone else. They value their free time and creativity so much that they are willing to do anything it takes to become self-employed or manage their own business. They desire more productive and creative control over their time, and therefore they are willing to bare the financial and psychological risks it takes to build a career on their own terms.

Self-bossers see the world differently.

Self-bossers think about the world in a different way than your average worker. They are filled with ideas and visions about the world they live in and what is possible. Their aim is to act out these ideas, to test them in the real world, and learn more as they continue to mold reality to the best of their abilities.

Their visions however are not without boundaries. A self-bosser must be a practical idealist, always exercising his or her control when possible, and not showing too much concern to the realities that lay outside of his or her control.

However, sometimes the territory outside of our control scares us away from claiming power over our lives. While we often recognize that we have responsibility over our actions, we are often afraid of deviating from the norm, making mistakes, failing, and suffering the consequences of our devious behavior.

But it is precisely this devious behavior that defines a self-bosser. One of my favorite contemporary philosophers Brad Spangler once said,

But are you willing to exercise your abnormality for the sake of progress and innovation? I presume that not everyone is willing to bare the risks associated with going against the grain of society, and some probably have a great fear of it.

Being a successful freelancer or entrepreneur will require some degree of stepping outside the norm. Anyone who builds their own career must be innovative in their own way, according to their own knowledge, values, skills, and passion. If we only follow blueprints that have been handed down to us from other authorities in society, then we will never maximize our potential, which is partly unique for every individual.

Self-bossing is self-discovery.

Because we each can only manage ourselves in our own way, self-bossing is also a process of self-discovery. You need to first identify your strengths, weaknesses, intentions, and goals, just like a good employer should identify these attributes of their employees before assigning them a job. The only difference between you and any other employer is that you must build the self-awareness and self-knowledge to know what you are best at.

Only once you discover your capacities and limitations can you begin to exercise them and start building your empire. This is going to take a bit of introspection and self-inquiry. You need to ask yourself what you are capable of, what you desire to create, and what obstacles you may face in the future.

Self-bossers make tiny changes with long-term leverage.

Becoming a self-bosser can seem like a daunting task. You might already be integrated into the corporate world and you have a hard-time imagining how life would be without it. You have to first accept that this is a process that doesn’t take place over night, but over many days, months, and even years. Don’t quit your day job, but start making changes today that will help align you with your goals. Even writing on a blog 10 minutes a night can do wonders to help you organize your thoughts, clarify your values, and face anxieties that many self-bossers face when they begin to make this leap into the unknown.

10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes a night is all it takes to start making the transition. This is a new way of life that you need to start building brick by brick, and finding just a couple little things to do on a daily basis can build up your momentum fast. Start by asking your friends what you are good at, do some research on the internet or at the library, and contact others who may be able to offer you practical advice.

I guarantee you that the hardest part about this whole process is getting started. The more you invest into your projects, the harder it will be to give up or walk away. Focus on the little things now and you will begin to recognize the bigger things building up over time.

Flexible persistence

Obviously staying committed to your goals is a big factor in accomplishing them. However, there is a point where blind persistence can leave you investing more time and more energy in plans that simply aren’t going to work out (in behavioral economics, they call this the “sunk cost fallacy,” our tendency to throw money at bad investments because we want to fix them, but we just end up losing more). This is when you need to recognize failure and adjust your course of action.

Just because you fail at one endeavor doesn’t mean you are a terrible self-bosser. Self-bossers often pride themselves in the mistakes they’ve made in their past because they realize how important they were in their professional growth. Self-bossers are persistent when trying to achieve their ends, but flexible when it comes to the different means that can be used to achieve them. They can have long-term visions, but they also know how to stay focused in the present and adjust their actions when presented with new information.

Smart risks and failing small.

When we first decide to be a self-bosser it can be an enthralling experience. We often have big dreams of the future and we are willing to take big risks to meet those dreams. But while I’ve mentioned that risks are unavoidable, it would be stupid to take out a three hundred thousand dollar business loan and think you are going to be able to build a successful business your first try.

Let’s say you are a musician who wants to record an album. Before you go out to Sam Ash and buy a whole bunch of recording equipment, why not perform your songs live a few times and see how the audience reacts? Although it may hurt temporarily, you want to know if your music is good enough and if people actually enjoy it (and will want to buy it) before you spend all that money for a recording.

By taking smaller risks you find out what areas you need to improve in before you move on to bigger decisions. It’s a process of trial-and-error, but you want to make sure your errors are small enough to be recoverable. This is how you sustain positive growth.

Before I write a whole book and send it off to a hundred publishers, I should probably write a few chapters and get some people’s thoughts on it. You want to get feedback on your work periodically and in moderate doses, so that you can build off of it and not get overwhelmed or discouraged by the bigger failures that often occur when you take bigger risks. Be a smart risk-taker and try to do smaller litmus tests to see if what you are doing is productive or counter-productive.

Start reclaiming your dream today.

You’re not going to become a self-bosser simply by reading this article. I’ve tried to illuminate some of the key components it takes to begin to make the leap, but ultimately this is something that you need to figure out for yourself. I hope at the very least this article has inspired you or motivated you, and I also hope that you now have a clearer picture of some of the things it will take to become successfully self-employed. If you want to read these ideas expanded on with more depth I recommend Jonathan Mead’s “Reclaim You Dreams: An Uncommon Guide To Living On Your Own Terms” – a great self-starter for aspiring self-bosses everywhere.

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In just one or two centuries, which is a tiny sliver of the world’s entire history, we have made incredible improvements in technology, medicine, entertainment, art, and culture. Most of us wouldn’t even be able to bear the burden and suffering of living a hundred years ago compared to the luxuries we have today in the form of TVs, computers, and iPods.

However, don’t feel guilty about it, our children’s children will feel the same way when they look back on how we grew up. Such is the perplexing world of human progress.

Subjects like business and economics really fascinate me. I spend about half of my waking day reading about the latest developments, following new trends, and daydreaming on what the future has in store. There is a shift in paradigm occurring, and in this post I want to touch on “five demands” that I think are very telling about where successfully businesses are heading.

Digital

No, I don’t predict a complete death of brick-and-mortar businesses, but there is definitely a new business arena being built around the online world and it is getting bigger and bigger everyday. In particular, information-based products and services are migrating in herds to online businesses and blogs. Entrepreneurs are now selling e-books, webinars, and online courses that are just as valuable to customers as hardcovers and “real-life” lectures. In fact, Amazon reported earlier this year that it is now selling more e-books than hardcover books. This can be attributed to a couple of reasons: digital products are often cheaper and more convenient. Now instead of carrying 2 or 3 books onto a plane, all we need is an iPad or Kindle.

While the dot-com bubble may have tried to push online business into a premature birth, we are definitely going to see a continuing shift in this direction long-term.

Empathy

The economy is becoming so competitive in some industries that effective marketing is no longer just a “numbers game.” Instead it is about connecting with customers and clients in meaningful ways. This entails building friendships with others by adopting the culture of our target audience – seeing the world through their eyes – or what is often called “empathy.” The book Wired To Care by business connoisseur Dev Patnaik illustrates this point in a variety of case studies by showing how entrepreneurs who walk in the shoes of their clients almost always create a fool-proof model for success and longevity.

Creativity

Every profession requires some degree of creativity, whether it be engineering, scientific research, architecture, design, education, art, music, or entertainment. The process of creativity is to take pre-existing elements and integrate them in a way that has never been done before, along with the aim to improve past conditions. Some may argue that creativity is the source of all innovation and improvement. There is a great article at Lateral Action called “The Rise of the Creative Economy” which really drives this point home. One part states:

“While data and knowledge are important resources, the creative economy represents a significant development from the familiar idea of the knowledge economy. The key difference is that in the creative economy it is not enough to store, process or analyse information – it must be creatively transformed into something new and valuable.”

Abundance

Don’t confuse an attitude of abundance for some new-agey, Law of Attraction-esque gibberish. This isn’t about visualizing what you want until you get it, but acting resourcefully with a giver’s mentality. In Chris Anderson’s book “Free: The Future of a Radical Price” Anderson counts the ways that giving away free content can help boost your business and build up your tribe. He argues that many individuals under the age of 30 aren’t used to paying for digital information when they know they can find it somewhere online for free. By tapping into this demand you can attract and maintain a loyal audience over time while building paid premiums as you go along. Have some avenue of free content, whether it be a blog, e-book, audio lecture, video series, etc. This will let your audience know that you aren’t the type of person who will strangle every cent out of them – you care about your non-paying fans just as much as you care about your paying fans. If you do it right, this can be very effective marketing. However, keep in mind that there are some caveats to this approach and some, like Gary Vaynerchuck, are now saying the economy may be moving away from this model.

Story-telling

2. Organize your desk and home workspace.

3. Practice mock interviews.

4. Check out local listings at craigslist or in your local newspaper.

5. Set a new budget.

6. File for unemployment benefits.

7. Follow the news. This will provide you with fuel for conversation.

8. Consider further education. Take college courses or pursue a Masters or PhD.

9. Ask family, friends, and past employers for possible job openings.

10. Walk outside and see which local businesses are hiring.

11. Get a makeover. Sometimes nicer clothes or a new haircut can help leave a better impression in your interviews.

12. Find some odd-and-end jobs around town (mowing lawns, cleaning houses, walking dogs, baby sitting, having a bake sale, etc.)

13. Have a garage sale or sell stuff you don’t need on Ebay or Amazon.

14. Consider a career change.

15. Make a blog as a stepping stone or portfolio for your work.

16. If you can afford it, go on vacation.

17. Consider moving to a place where there are more jobs.

18. Volunteering. You can put it on your resume and it shows character.

19. Upload your resume to Monster.com, SnagAJob.com, or CareerBuilder.

20. Consider starting your own business, but be prepared to put in the time and work.

21. Exercise more. It’ll make you feel better and more confident.

22. Learn a new language. Being bilingual is helpful in most economies.

23. Get a non-paid internship to gain more experience.

24. Rent out a room in your apartment/house for extra cash.

25. Cut out coupons for groceries and clothes.

26. Review your insurance bills and see if you can switch to cheaper companies.

27. Shop at discount stores.

28. Cook for yourself. It’s cheaper.

29. Pursue new hobbies and interests.

30. Read about topics you enjoy.

31. Maintain a positive attitude and a healthy self-esteem.

32. Check out your local food banks.

33. Have your children look for employment if they are old enough (to help out).

34. Look for local job fairs.

35. Take a workshop and learn a new skill.

36. Go to your local library. According to The Economist, 70% help you with filling out applications, writing resumes, and finding jobs.

37. See doctors and dentists before your health insurance runs out.

38. Network with people on Facebook or LinkedIn.

39. Limit time watching TV or playing video games.

40. Look for cheaper alternatives for your phone bill, cable, gas.

41. Spend more time with your family. It won’t lead to a job, but it is one of the more quality ways to spend your off-time.

42. Become your own manager or agent. Saying that you are the agent for so-and-so (during phone conversations) will give you a professional edge in some industries.

43. Pursue an art. This adds diversity to character and improves creativity.

44. Put yourself in the employer’s shoes. Ask “How can I add value to this company?”

45. Quit smoking. It improves your hygiene, it makes your teeth whiter, and you will smell better.

46. Find entry level jobs and aim to work your way up.

47. Maintain a healthy sleep schedule of 7-10 hours a night.

48. Donate plasma. Some plasma banks offer $35 a pint, and you can donate twice a week.

49. Cancel your internet and leech on public places with free wi-fi (Starbucks, public libraries, etc.)

50. Grow a fruit and vegetable garden to cut down on food expenses.

Bonus: When all else fails, find a wealthy boyfriend/girlfriend (who you love…not to be a gold digger, of course).

• United States Department of Labor
• How To Write A Masterpiece of a Resume
• Cover Letter FAQ and the Competitive Edge in the Job Market
• What Makes A Great Cover Letter, According to Companies?
• Free Job Search E-books
• Resume Templates for Microsoft Office (don’t choose anything too flashy)
• How To Make An Impression With Your Resume in 30 Seconds
• Ten Tips for a (Slightly) Less Awful Resume

When I first discovered Peter’s site I was very impressed with the wealth of information offered there. His blog posts are Grade-A quality and he also offers a free e-book called “Seek And Destroy: How To Identify Entrepreneurial Obstacles and How To Overcome Them.” (direct PDF download – he doesn’t even make you sign up to his newsletter, although I would recommend you check that out too). I am currently halfway through reading this one and it is not your typical free e-book – there is actually value here. I recommend it to any aspiring businessman.

Peter and I both share an enthusiasm for the human mind and business. We are also both optimistic about the direction many industries are taking online in the digital world, and how this will continue to change the business landscape in the future (more on this in the interview).

I want to thank Peter for providing very detailed and thoughtful responses to all my questions. I really think this is an incredibly informative interview. It’s a lot of reading compared to my typical posts, but it is well worth it. Check it out!

Also, please note that none of the links in this interview are affiliates. I recommend these products and services because I believe they are good and worth the price. I don’t make commission off of any sales.

1. Entrepreneurs are risk-takers. But risk-taking can be a fearful endeavor. You have a book out called, “Demystifying Your Fear.” What are the kinds of things it covers, and how can it help individuals be better risk-takers?

I decided to write “Demystify Your Fear” because, after years working as a therapist and coach to entrepreneurs, I’m convinced that Fear is always the last obstacle between an entrepreneur and their business goals.

“Demystify” looks at the two different types of fear – it educates entrepreneurs on how to identify when fear is a useful, appropriate response… and when it isn’t. Fear has a very positive use sometimes. It’s an evolutionary tool that we’re equipped with that pumps the perfect chemical cocktail into our body when we need to fight or run. Fear is great for when you meet a grizzly bear in the woods!

The problem is that entrepreneurs experience the same emotional response that a bear might create… but when they’re contemplating various business activities!

When that happens, an entrepreneur is being subjected to ancient psychological forces trying to make her “fight or fly”… when really, she should be making a pitch, closing a deal or something.

So sometimes fear is a useful tool – a signal from our unconscious mind telling us we need to urgently prepare for something (an encounter with a grizzly?). And in business, sometimes we do need to prepare.

More often though, Fear is an inappropriate response – it pops up and cripples entrepreneurs in situations where there isn’t really anything to “prepare”. When it’s time to just say “screw it – let’s do it!”.

Demystify Your Fear is about conquering that inappropriate, useless fear – including all the modern, insidious manifestations like “the inner critic.”


2. You used to do clinical therapy, but now you only offer counseling to entrepreneurs. How is the mindset of an entrepreneur different from your previous clients?

I began my career working with entrepreneurs by accident – a business owner came along to my practice for help with a phobia! Once he realized that “this psychology stuff is important in business too” he kept coming back to discuss business challenges. Then, he referred his friends!

I discovered a segment of the population more committed to growth and aggressive pursuit of goals than any other. For a therapist or coach of any kind, working with such people is highly rewarding.

To generalize, I’ve found that entrepreneurs are faster moving, more open to radical change and far more pragmatic than most “civilians”. This makes for a fast-paced consulting relationship where smart ideas and realizations get acted on (and produce results) fast.

Most entrepreneurs also realize that their financial results are directly correlated to their mental state and performance, so in many ways the success of consulting with entrepreneurs is empirically measurable. I know that if I’m doing a great job with a client, their companies profit/loss statements will reflect that.


3. You’re from New Zealand. In a nutshell, how is the economy doing there? Are they being hit by this worldwide recession as hard as other nations like in Europe and the United States?

I’m from New Zealand but based in Sydney Australia. Australia currently seems to be impervious to the GFC (global financial crisis) – business is booming and the Aussie dollar, at the time of this interview, is cents away from parity with the US.

Meanwhile, across the Tasman Sea in my home country, things are not going so well. Overall, I think that the antipodes have remained reasonably insulated from European and US financial crisis. New Zealand has definitely slowed down since 2008, but so far remains relatively unscathed compared to some European nations of similar size.

One concern that I’d like NZ entrepreneurs to address is the extent of international ownership of New Zealand commercial and real assets. While investment dollars pour into the country from overseas, New Zealanders face the prospect of becoming tenants in their own country and businesses. This means that a vast proportion of consumer spending in NZ ends up in the pockets of international organizations operating from abroad. Meanwhile, much of NZ’s top young talent continues to leave the country for greener pastures.

All in all, I consider it a matter of personal and national priority to focus on educating the NZ public to reduce consumer debt while increasing investment in NZ owned business, ultimately to bring back the talented New Zealand workforce currently living and working abroad.

4. How is the internet changing the business landscape? Is there too much false hope in making money online?

Like anything that is new and exciting, the internet is also misunderstood. The snake-oil salespeople selling fast-fortunes through “online business” are preying on the ignorance of a public that is still learning and understanding the internet.

I believe that in the next five to ten years, we will see a dramatic reduction in the “make $$$ without any work, instantly” type offers. This will happen as the public becomes more aware about the nature of the internet and how commerce works online.

Aside from the scammers, the internet is certainly the single most significant evolutionary step in business that this generation has seen (and probably will see)…. and the best part? It’s all just getting started!

The internet is and will continue to impact business in ways more numerous to list here. Personally, I knew that “internet business” was for me, the moment I read Chris Anderson’s views of “The Long Tail”.

For the first time in history, it’s now possible for tiny businesses to connect with and grow and audience of rabid, passionate fans. The internet facilitates this communication and connection. This is exciting news for those contemplating the step (leap) into entrepreneurialism – never before has it been easier to build a business doing what you love!

But keep in mind – I said “easier”… not easy. One of the things I’ve noticed is that, despite all the new shininess of the internet and social media, the old commercial realities stay the same. Smart ideas, relentless action-taking and hard work are just some of the old school “must-have” requirements that’ll never change.

5. Who are some of your favorite business leaders today?

I’ve always struggled to answer these questions without the obvious cliches…

Steve Jobs

Apple seem to be going from strength to strength. Not only am I a crazy mac-fan, I also enjoy watching in awe as Steve and his people build empires and out-fox enormous, successful competitors. The best part is that every time they win, so does the consumer! The ability to interact with internet through mobile devices (iphones etc) is something we all seem to take for granted now… but it was just a few years ago that must of us could never even dream of posting videos on the fly to Youtube and tweeting to hundreds of followers while walking down the street.

Apple has captured the attention of so many of us because they’re hitting home-run after home-run of innovation. Pumping out such remarkable stuff, so consistently, is what puts Steve at the top of my business-hero list.

Richard Branson

Richard’s diversity of attention simply blows me away. What is it that makes a billionaire leap up from his hammock on Necker Island and think: “Screw the airlines, music label and banking… I want to start a mobile phone company!!”

His ongoing accomplishments with the Virgin brand would seem like a scatter-gun of barely controlled chaos… if it weren’t for the fact that he seems to hit home-runs far more often that most would believe possible. I’m intrigued by the mind behind Virgin.

6. If you had the capital to start any business you wanted to, what would it be?

I would explore online education, in a big way. I think that the entrepreneur who figures out how to overcome the current limitations to online education solutions is going to be the next tech-billionaire.

Larry Ellison has famously voiced his belief that education online will dwarf the internet as we know it today. I think we’re going to see a radical shake-up of the tertiary education system and an inevitable super-ceding of old school education delivery by a new, internet based *sometime*.

I would love to be the person to find that something. Angel investors can contact me at my blog.

Online education is definitely something that I am excited about too. I have taken some online courses from independent, unaccredited organizations, but the value I have received in return has been unfathomable. The Mises Academy in particular, which teaches free market economics, has a great set-up right now with teaching students from all over the world. They use DimDim for online lectures and “office hours,” and they also include forums and discussion boards. They are just as valuable as many of the college classes I’ve taken off-line, but they are offered at a fraction of the price. I have a feeling online education in the future has a lot to learn from the Mises Academy.

—

I want to thank Peter Shallard again for this wonderful interview. I urge you all to check out The Shrink for Entrepreneurs, poke around through his blog, check out his free e-book, and also look into “Demystify Your Fear,” especially if you are a businessman (or woman) who hasn’t quite made that leap into the “entrepreneurial unknown.”

Questions.

• What is the most impressive thing you learned from Peter’s answers?
• Why is the entrepreneur so important in today’s economy?
• Can anyone be an entrepreneur?
• Who would you like to see interviewed next?

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