1) Repeat it: If it doesn’t work the first, second, or third time, then what makes you think it will work on the fourth or fifth time? “Try again,” is great advice if you know for certain that you are using the best method available, but if something continuously fails to work – you may want to re-evaluate your strategy. How does that Einstein quote go again?

2) Avoid it: Sometimes when we encounter a problem it is easier to just close our eyes than to stand up and face it. This may give us some immediate satisfaction, and certainly it is less work, but avoiding a problem often just means it’ll pop up sometime again in the future. We can ignore reality, but we can’t ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.

3) Complain: How many people do you know who love to talk about all the things they need to get done, rather than actually get it done? It always begins with a long sigh, followed by the helpless, sympathetic-seeking mantra of, “I am so busy. Yesterday I had to do X, Y, and Z, and today I have to do L, M, N, O, and P.” Is there any coincidence that the people who always seem the most busy always spend the most time chatting about it?

4) Over-analyze and Over-plan: A lot of problems we run into on a daily basis could be easily solved if we just approached them directly, evaluated them in the moment, and then acted right then and there. It is all too easy to fall into the trap of over-analyzing, trying to find shortcuts, and making elaborate plans that we think will increase our productivity, but in the end only distract us or commit us to a flawed course of action.

5) Overreact: This is a great way to make a problem out to be a much bigger monster than it really is. I see it all of the time: someone steps on your shoes, forgets to send you a birthday card, or makes an ill-humored joke about your mom. And what do you do? Yell, punch, scream, or maybe walk out of the room in a fit of rage? We all have our moments where we lose our temper, and some of us have really low thresholds; learning to be a little more tolerant and understanding – and a little less reactive – is sometimes the best response.

Past Uncertainties and Convictions

It has now been a good 5 months since I’ve last written about goal-making (see 1, 2). To be honest, the delay is probably due to my own sense of limbo about what I want to pursue as a career.

It has now been almost 1/2 a year since I’ve graduated college, and although I have been keeping busy diving into my own personal interests, I have yet to draw any clear path about where I want to be in the future.

Is this normal for a recent graduate? Maybe, maybe not.

Either way, I know panicking won’t do me any good, so I remain relax and focused.

It’s not that I don’t spend time thinking about the future – I do and I do it often – but I want make sure that when I find my niche that it is something I can become fully engaged in. The last place I want to be in 40 years is at some dead-end job with no love or pride for my craft.

Long ago I came to the conviction that there need not be a difference between work and play. That one can simultaneously do what they love and prosper from it if they put their mind to it. First, I need faith in my capacity to think, grow, and create value.

Believing I can achieve something must be the first prerequisite for actually going out and doing it.

Mission Statement

Throughout my life I have always had some desire to write. As a kid I remember thinking up short screenplays, reviewing video games online, and expressing my feelings about loved ones through lyrics and poetry. Today, I continue to make a conscious effort to improve my writing ability by blogging on sites such as this one and Libertarian Minds.

The past year has been an experiment to see if I can stay committed to blogging and still come out enjoying it in the end – I do.

That is why I now want to take my craft to the next stage. This, to me, means turning it into a profession.

First, I want to create a mission statement. Then I will write it above my desk, so I can recite it every morning. This one simple ritual will help me to maintain flow and keep my mind concentrated on the habits I need to adopt in order to be successful.

Here is a picture of my mission statement written on a dry-erase board:

To become a professional writer I will follow my self-appointed mantra of RAWA meaning “Read A lot, Write A lot.” In it there are 6 tenets: consume, digest, rest, grow, repeat, and evolve.

1. CONSUME A LOT OF MATERIAL

Lucky for me I love reading and I already go to all sorts of different websites on a daily basis. Over the year I have accumulated a list of my favorite and most informative resources:

Mainstream Media

CNN.com
MSNBC
FOXNews

Sites to follow the most up-to-date news of popular issues.

Libertarian Opinion/Blogs

Reason
Cato Institute
Ludwig von Mises Institute
Campaign For Liberty
Foundation for Economic Education
Anti-War.com
Center for a Stateless Society
Ayn Rand Institute
Capitalism Magazine
Libertarianism from A to Z: Jeffrey Miron’s blog
Think Markets
Marginal Revolution: Tyler Cowek and Alex Tabarrok’s blog
LewRockwell.com
Stephan Kinsella
Austro-Athenian Empire – Roderick Long’s blog
Free Advice – Bob Murphy’s blog
Ideas – David Friedman’s blog
Fringe Elements – Ryan Faulk’s blog
Economic Policy Journal – Robert Wenzel’s blog
Free Association – Sheldon Richman’s blog
Brad Spangler
Fr33 Agents

Professional resources and personal blogs to help build a comprehensive libertarian philosophy. More to be added.

Alternative Opinion/Blogs

Salon
Smithsonian Magazine
Huffington Post
New York Times
Bloomberg
WallStreet Journal
Alternet
DailyKOS
The Daily Caller
Politico
New Yorker
Fora.TV
Rolling Stone
The Conscience of a Liberal – Paul Krugman’s blog
Libcom.org

Other resources to stay knowledgeable about opposing opinions. This is important to help keep a well-rounded view. More to be added.

I will try to visit most of these sites at least once every week. The big ones like CNN.com (or ones I really enjoy like Mises.org), will probably be visited more frequently. I also go to reddit everyday where users post articles from all over the web.

The main point of building a huge list like this is to always have reading material available and to have access to a wide range of viewpoints and philosophies.

2. DIGEST IT ALL

It would be wasteful to read hours everyday but to never think critically about the content. I believe contemplation is one of the most important mechanism to human learning.

Studies have shown that when rats are given time to reflect, they learn faster than rats who don’t. Time spent introspecting on one’s thought patterns can help us better understand our beliefs. We may even discover that we have made a logical fallacy or a cognitive bias.

Humans are infallible but they are also self-correcting. There is no need to be alarmed when a belief of ours has been challenged. Instead it should be seen as an opportunity for growth. Those who deny their mistakes will always remain fixed where they stand, but those who are willing to weigh other alternatives are more likely to progress their understanding and step forward as intellectuals.

Digesting material means to put a conscious effort into reflecting on what we have learned and how it fits into our worldview.

3. REST

Between all this reading and thinking I am going to need some leisure time. This means things like nap-taking, hanging out with friends, listening to music, watching Mets games, and going out to dinner. Life stuff. Stuff less mentally-intensive so my mind has a chance to rejuvenate itself. After all, variety keeps the mind healthy and balanced.

Including rest in your routine is the difference between hard work and smart work. Also, one positive thing about actively taking your mind off of your work is that it lets your unconscious mull over ideas as you engage yourself in other activities.

4. GROW

Once I have consumed, digested, and taken a healthy break, I am then ready to apply my knowledge into the form of writing.

While the digestion phase was about breaking down information, the growth phase is about integrating information into an article that conveys a coherent theme. All writing, whether fiction or non-fiction, is the process of connecting old ideas and transforming them into something new, something more contemporary, and something more aligned with the zeitgeist of the times. It is the process of moving knowledge forward.

To fulfill my goal I must write each and everyday, even if it is just for a little bit. If by the end of the day I am not happy with what I have written – and it never gets published or even posted on a blog – it is still a worthy exercise in critical thinking and creativity. I think of it as analogous to a professional baseball pitcher: although it may not always be there day to start a game, they still go out in the bullpen and throw some pitches everyday, because that is how they keep their skills sharp.

If you want to be good at something you need to live and breathe it. It needs to be a part of your daily routine. By aiming to write everyday I am setting a precedent to continuously improve until I reach that next plateau.

5. REPEAT. REPEAT. REPEAT.

We all have certain habits which we repeat day-in and day-out. They become automatic or “second nature.” One beauty of the human mind is that we can consciously choose to replace existing habits with new ones – to reinforce “positive” behavior and punish “negative” behavior (however an individual may come to define those terms).

Over the last year I have built up a habit of reading, thinking, and writing about political philosophy, economics, and society at large. It is something I have developed a passion for which is why I now picture myself doing it as a career.

I don’t want to be simply good at it but great at it. I want people to read what I have to say and walk away more educated, more independent-thinking, and more inspired by life around them. I want them to think, “this is so good, I want my friends to read this.”

But this kind of value can only be created if I am dedicated to my craft, which means: practice, practice, practice. I believe that the more I immerse myself in an activity, the better and faster of a learner I will be.

6. EVOLVE

Evolution is a series of adaptations and changes over time. In many ways, it is spontaneous and unpredictable. Often the order is not clear until you look back on it.

This post marks a starting point for my pursuit as a professional writer, but only time will tell where I will end up a year, five years, or ten years down the line.

While I may not know the specifics of where this path is heading, I do know that if I stay devoted to my mantra of RAWA (”Read A lot, Write A lot”), and its 6 tenets, that it will lead me somewhere productive and fruitful.

The human mind can facilitate positive evolution by identifying value and producing it over time. Only by adding value to our lives and the lives of others do we progress as humans and make life worth living.

ENDING NOTE

At its core the RAWA strategy is simple: get emerged in reading and writing and I will soon build the skills to enter the professional domain.

Of course, this is not all one needs to be successful. Along with actually having the ability, one also needs to know how to network, market their product, and land opportunities. These will be issues I will try and resolve in later posts.

For now, my main focus is thinking of myself as a writer, reinforcing these positive rituals (consume digest, rest, grow, repeat, evolve), and eventually building a portfolio of my best material to send to editors.

How does our pursuit of knowledge reflect our individualism, and why is this so important? What makes this path towards self-actualization so difficult and lonesome?

Education Doesn’t End After School

One assumption I often see people implicitly make is that school is the only form of education. Friends and family constantly say to me ad nauseam, “Steven, you are so smart – are you sure you don’t want to go to graduate school and continue your education?”

This annoys me so much because I consider myself a person who absolutely loves knowledge and never sees an endpoint to my studies. I go to the library twice a week, constantly flipping through new books or reading cover-to-cover the ones I find most interesting. My interests range from psychology to economics to politics to philosophy, so how can anyone possibly tell me that I need to continue my education?

I feel I am an autodidactic at heart. The time I spend studying on my own I find infinitely more valuable than the time I spend in a classroom. When you study on your own you get to choose the curriculum, focus on subjects that most interest you, and go at your own pace.

Yet at the same time this method of learning is seen by our culture as inherently bizarre and even wasteful: Where is your degree? How do you expect to find a job? What are you doing with your life?

To Love To Know And To Do What You Love

I didn’t get a degree in Psychology because I thought it was where the money was at; no, I took it with the intent to learn about the subject. But people don’t understand this. They don’t trust themselves enough to do what they love. Instead, they would rather follow a predetermined path, as long as it provides security. The individual spirit thus begins to break down.

I am now unemployed, and part of that is simply my apathy towards looking for a job, but I feel just as competent as anyone else coming out of college (if not more). Why? Because I trust my passions, I trust my self-determination, and embrace that individual spirit. Besides, I am only 21, the world is in my hands, and now is not the time to forfeit to the chains of modern society. I have bigger ideas in mind, perhaps larger than most, and that is what makes this path lonely but rewarding. I love to know and I owe it to myself to do what I love:

All Knowledge Is Self-Knowledge

When we learn more about our world – whether its astrophysics or behavioral economics – we build a greater understanding of ourselves. Our pursuits reflect our values and interests, so I don’t deny that when I do what I love, I am also separating myself from the whims that others would like to impose on me. In this sense, following our dreams is a lonely path. No one can do this for you, you must be the hero of your world.

United By This Loneliness

I wanted to share these quick thoughts with you in case you were feeling the same way. Doing what others tell you is easy, pursuing what you love is the hardest. There will be doubt. There will be loneliness. There will be signs of weakness and temptations to quit. But knowing that others share that struggle and knowing that it can be overcome is a power that connects us all. The world depends on our self-actualization.

P.S. – Great conversations on this article going on at Evolver. Feel free to join in!

Whether it is school or work we are all familiar with having to meet deadlines. Some of us may find them a helpful tool while others find them a damn nuisance.

Is that ticking clock in the background really helping us work harder and more efficiently? Or is it giving us incentives to rush in some situations, slack off in others, or even frustrate us to the point where we neglect our work altogether?

This article wishes to explore these situations and ask the questions:

1. When are setting deadlines productive and useful?
2. And when do they inhibit us from doing a good job or achieving a goal?

Setting a deadline for disappointment

I want to destroy the notion that we must set deadlines for all of our goals. Some things just aren’t conducive to time-related constraints.

Take for example your health and fitness – is it really appropriate to take some arbitrary date and say, “I must lose 10lbs within the next month.”

What if you don’t meet your goal? What if you only lose a single pound? Are you going to feel frustrated and give-up? Albeit it’s a small step, but does not meeting your quota really take away from the achievement of losing one pound?

What if instead you said, “It would be nice if I lost 10lbs within the next month.” That is a much less restricting statement because you aren’t telling yourself what you absolutely have to do. You are still maintaining an empowering vision of the future without setting a constricting deadline (and setting yourself up for a potentially crippling disappointment).

Can’t rush inspiration

For some people their creativity is their main source of livelihood. Their job depends on them to come up with riveting ideas that capture people’s imaginations. This is true for people like musicians, filmmakers, and artists.

When I think about this in the context of deadlines I am reminded of a scene in the Spike Jonze movie Adaptation. The whole movie centers around Charlie Kaufman’s struggle to create a film based on this book called The Orchid Thief. For those who don’t know, Charlie Kaufman is a real writer and director…he has worked with such excellent films as Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Synecdoche, New York.

In the movie Kaufman (who is played by Nicholas Cage) gets a call from his boss wanting to know how the screenwriting is coming along. He says he needs to see it on his desk in a couple weeks, and in turn Kaufman replies, “You can’t rush inspiration.”

Is this true? Can you put a deadline on creativity? I’m tempted to side with Kaufman on this one, especially since I consider him one of the most innovative writers of our time. Creativity can come at any moment. Imagine rushing a piece of art only to come up with an idea that is ten times better the day after it is due – that would be devastating.

“A deadline is negative inspiration. Still, it’s better than no inspiration at all.”
- Rita Mae Brown

Working best under pressure

In defense of deadlines, there are some people I know who claim to work best when they are under pressure. They thrive off of the thrill of channeling their stress into a state of flow – getting in the zone – and working their butts off until they have finally finished their project.

This could be true for some creative endeavors, but I imagine that this strategy is most effective with work that is more do-oriented and less thinking-oriented.

If you already have a clear picture in your head of what needs to get done, then setting a deadline is a great way to motivate yourself towards action.

One example I will borrow from my own life:

I have been wanting to write an ebook on well-being and happiness ever since I first got interested in mental health and personal development. I have had ideas floating around in my head for years. Finally earlier this year I wrote an outline on the types of lessons I wanted to include. Now that I have everything comprehensively planned out, it all boils down to getting it done.

Realizing this, I now know it is a good time to set a deadline for actually getting this thing out of my mind and into the world. That is why I am giving myself until the end of the month to finish writing it. This is one case where I am OK with setting deadlines – even though I am the kind of person who usually prefers spontaneity.

A beacon of light in the distance

Because most people are so bad at time management, we often see deadlines as something that is always right in front of us – forcing us to get to work and get things completed.

However, deadlines can also be something we place in the distant future. For example, when I first started this blog in June of 09 I gave myself two years to turn it into a profitable enterprise. I am not even a year into it yet but this deadline has guided me to stay focused on what my bigger goals are. It is a beacon of light – a vision for the future – that is in the background of everything that I do.

When deadlines are used in this way they can become a kind of symbol for success, something to aspire towards, and dedicate energy to gradually over time. Deadlines don’t always have to rush us to be effective; they can give us room and be inspiring.

You may have already set deadlines like this without even being aware of it. For example: when you were a young adult (or if you are one now like me), you may have said at one point, “I won’t get married until I am 30.” This is one example of setting benchmarks way in the future.

Beware, however, that when we place these distant deadlines for the future, if we don’t revisit those goals and aspirations from time to time, we may forget about them or run too far off track.

When do deadlines work best for you?

This is my rudimentary analysis of deadlines. I don’t wish to rid the world of them completely, but I do think it is important we put them into perspective. In some contexts they can do wonders, while in other contexts they can inhibit us severely.

Tell me – what are your experiences and thoughts on deadlines? When do they work best for you?

I think we all try to make little improvements in our life here and there. Some of us have bigger goals and aspirations than others. The trouble however is trying to stay committed to these changes.

The point of this post is elegant and simple: what does it take to keep committed? Even after all the advice I like to give on following our dreams I still get distracted and fall off the path from time to time. This list will serve as a little, and hopefully inspirational, reminder on the ways we can make better commitment whatever they may be.

1. Love the journey not just the destination. Why do anything if you can’t enjoy the process of doing in-and-of-itself? Do what you love and love what you do.

2. Take pride in the small steps. Every step along the path should be seen as an accomplishment. Little accomplishments add up to bigger ones; and every snowman starts with but a single snowflake.

3. Realize persistence is key. Don’t be fooled by marketing schemes that offer a magic pill to fix all your problems. Nothing of value comes without a bit of hard work and dedication, whether it is making money or losing weight.

4. Have a sustainable routine. Persistence comes through dedicated consistency. If you can’t handle your workload then you need to adjust it until it is something you can see yourself doing everyday.

5. Commitment builds character. You aren’t just working on whatever you are committed too, you are also working on yourself. Therefore, every action is also an action of self-improvement.

6. Achieving your goals is gratifying. The feeling of accomplishment alone often makes it worth the effort.

7. Believe that you were made for this. We don’t commit ourselves to sudden whims, but the things that we believe have been boiling up inside of us for years, perhaps even since we were child.

8. Find encouraging friends. As I recently read in Daniel Goleman’s book “Social Intelligence,” good feelings are contagious, when we surround ourselves with positive people they usually have a positive effect.

9. Don’t forget that quitting can feel awful. Just as accomplishment can feel good, quitting feels equally painful. Don’t ever quit on the things that you truly value in life, you are only selling yourself short.

10. Notice the little improvements along the way. Be mindful that, no matter how frustrated or angry you may be in a given moment, things are always getting gradually better.

11. Create an affirmation. Write down an encouraging phrase to repeat to yourself every morning and night before bed. This little mantra or autosuggestion can help motivate and inspire you to keep pushing yourself forward.

12. Do something for the greater good. When we align our interests to something greater than our own self, we are that much more empowered to stay committed to our goals.

13. Stay enthusiastic and curious. Be weary when you begin to lose interest in the things you are committed to. It may mean you have forgotten what is really important about what you are doing.

14. Use your frustration as creative fuel. Why waste your energy on negative thoughts and emotions when you can transform and re-direct towards something more beneficial and uplifting?

15. Don’t be afraid to adjust. We aren’t psychics, we don’t know what the future may bring. That is why it is important that we adapt in the face of new information and new experiences.

16. Give yourself little rewards along the way. Maybe once you finish half your paper you can treat yourself to a quick Starbucks outing with your friends. Or, once you have reach $10,000 a month on your new business you can treat your family to a small vacation.

17. Allow times of rest and leisure. Knowing how to spend some time relaxing is key to replenishing yourself and staying energized throughout the day.

18. Keep a journal of your progress. We learn a lot more from our experiences when we allocate time towards reflection.

19. You only live once. Even if you believe in reincarnation you probably won’t be remembering your past life anytime soon – might as well live it to the fullest now!

20. Meditate and re-focus your intentions. With all this busy-ness and chaos that often runs our everday lives, it is important that we don’t forget what we originally intend to accomplish through our actions.


21. Put an encouraging quote up on your wall. This is just another effective way to integrate greatness into every aspect of your life no matter where you may be.

22. Find empowering role models. Sometimes the most inspiring thing we can do is pay attention to the actions of others, whether they be family, friends, musicians, or movie characters.

23. Prioritize your to-do list. Having a well-thought out to-do list can make all the difference between getting your stuff done by 4pm and getting your stuff done by 6pm. Practice planning out your day to maximize efficiency.

24. Ask for help in times of need. Although we like to take pride in our independence, the fact of the matter is most of us require the cooperative hands of others to help us achieve our goals. We are interdependent species, and it is nothing to be ashamed of.

25. Be happy for no reason. Be happy for the sake of happiness itself. It’ll make everything you do that much more meaningful.

26. Stay educated about your craft. Education is key. Don’t let your skills dull because you are too busy or lazy. Your craft is your livelihood – be the very best at it that you can be, and this includes constantly improving upon your abilities.

27. Be realistic and don’t overestimate your abilities too much. Basically, don’t try running before you can walk. There is often a learning curve we must follow before jumping right into the big leagues.

28. Learn from your mistakes early. Don’t ignore your flaws. Instead, attend to them as soon as they come into view. The quicker you address the issues in your character or business plan, the sooner you can get towards fixing them.

29. Don’t obsess over every potential obstacle. It is not worth worrying about every single possible obstacle, you will only be wasting your energy coming up with alternative plans for each one. Instead, just focus on the main ones, the ones that are more likely to arise, and that way you can come up with a Plan B and a Plan C…but all the way to Plan Z would certainly be overkill.

30. Read inspiring lists like this. Hey, why not? Isn’t this getting you in the mood to further commit to your aspirations?

31. Challenge someone. Some of us are motivated most when we are competing against another person. If this sounds like you then why not challenge someone? Maybe the first person to hook up with a girl wins twenty dollars, or the person with the highest grades at the end of the semester gets treated to a night of drinking.

32. Be patient for that Eureka moment. During a book signing, one of my favorite authors Jonathan Safran Foer one time said something to the effect of, “99% of the time I am not sure what I am writing about or how it all fits together, but then there is that 1% of the time where it all meshes together beautifully. And those times make that 99% all worth it.” Sometimes we aren’t sure how things are going to end, but if we remain persistent we are bound to experience our “eureka” moments where everything begins to make sense.

33. Have fun with it. Things that give us pleasure are easy to commit to. You don’t often see people not able to finish their favorite book or videogame. Make your days too fun to want to quit.

34. Be grateful for this opportunity. Most of us are very fortunate to live during the times that we do. We have more freedom, prosperity, and opportunity now than ever, and that is something to be incredibly thankful for.

35. Every now and then push yourself to an extreme for the sake of learning. Are you a musician or a painter? Have you ever tried just having a 6-hour jam session or a whole day painting? Just as an experiment, think of different ways you can take your commitment to the extreme and see what you learn from the experience. This is a great method for bringing your attributes to a new level.

36. Watch an inspiring movie. Feeling a little down or dreary? Sometimes there is nothing like putting on an uplifting movie to get your head back in the game, loving life, and driven to succeed.

37. Know that it will be worth it in the long-run. At times you may feel lost in the dark and not sure where this all is heading, but know that there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

38. Have a vision for the end, even if it is far away. As a frame of reference, having a vision of what your future looks like is important. As long as you don’t get too obsessed with everything going exactly as planned, having something to strive can be an empowering tool. Maybe you are an actor, in which case you can envision yourself giving an acceptance speech at the Academy Awards. It is just a way to get your mind having fun and thinking ahead, but don’t take it so seriously where you just let yourself down.

39. Recognize yourself as the hero of your own destiny. Not everything is in your control, but you are still responsible for your actions – so be a hero about it. Be triumphant, surpass people’s expectations, and say “fuck it” to mediocrity.

40. Ask questions to those who have been on a similar path. You have potential resources all around you and you never know who will give you the next idea. Never be afraid to tactfully probe people for their perspective, especially those who already have experience with what it is you are trying to accomplish.

41. Always be prepared to do more work than you originally expected. When we first come up with a rough blueprint for our goals, we often underestimate the amount of work it will take. Obstacles will pop up that we couldn’t have expected, and those will require extra effort to overcome. Don’t be alarmed when these things arise.

42. Nothing valuable comes easy. This is just about sheer will and dedication. If we want to rise above others, we need to go that extra mile, plain and simple.

43. Dedicate time each day. Frequency creates consistency. Doing work each and everyday, even if it is just a little bit, will separate you from the crowd. Not to mention getting some of your daily grind on over the weekends enables you to do less on weekdays. This is one thing to consider when creating a pace you are comfortable with.

44. Build a comfortable workplace. Don’t surround yourself in a prison. Your environment is important – make it interesting, inspiring, and fun to be around. Aim to impress people who visit you.

45. Do a bit of physical exercise to increase your energy. Once I started working out I noticed I had more energy throughout the day to get more done; I became more productive. Getting exercise is also a great way to relieve any stresses and anxieties.

46. Listen to motivational music as you work. Give your life its own soundtrack. This is your movie and you are the starring role.

47. Ignore the little things that don’t matter. Don’t waste your attention and energy on things that you can’t change. If it is out of your control, it isn’t worth worrying about.

48. Reflect on past achievements for inspiration. Use your memories as source of encouragement. Recall times where you did something really great, and use that as proof that you can do even more wonderful things.

49. Take it moment-by-moment. Slow and steady wins the race. We only have the present to act upon our decisions. The past and future always come secondary, focus mostly on the things you can do right now.

50. Plan a celebration for when you finish. Because you deserved it!

We all have certain aspirations in life. Some of us tell our friends and family about them, some of us write them down, while others just feel comfortable enough keeping these dreams tucked inside their heads. Whatever we do – they are there. However, the more we address them, and the more we think and contemplate about how to achieve them, the greater chance we have to successfully follow through on these plans.

Making a list

It has been exactly one month now since I wrote about goal-setting in my article, “Create A Progressive Timeline To Better Envision Your Goals.” In this post I emphasized the importance of writing down our goals, making ourselves more conscious of these aspirations, and getting ourselves in the mindset to achieve them.

I also promised my readers that I would write a follow-up article touching on ways you can improve your timeline to make it more effective in helping you meet these goals. Even if you haven’t read my initial article, you probably already understand the gist of what it means to create a goal timeline; therefore, you shouldn’t have much of a problem following the content of this post.

I personally like to write a list of goals at the beginning of every new year and then I will update it every few months. It serves as a great reminder of the “bigger picture,” and what I value most out of life. It is also a great way to stay focused. Once you have something like this to refer back to, you will find this post even more useful in improving your vision for the future.

Re-visiting

Whether you have written them down or not, you probably have a decent recollection of the types of things you have wished to accomplish throughout your lifetime. Depending on what stage of life you are in some goals may be fast-approaching, while others are more in the distance.

When you re-visit your goals there are several things you might notice:

1. Some of your goals may have already been accomplished.

One of the best feelings in the world is to finally accomplish one of your long-term goals. You probably have some experience with this, depending on how good of a planner you are. When I refer back to the list I made last month (and especially to the goals that I listed to complete “Within the month,”) I can already begin to sense some form of accomplishment. I had a hard time imagining that I would one day graduate from college, but that day has finally come, and thus starts a new chapter of my life. If I can follow through on one long-term goal then this gives me the drive to pursue others.

2. You may have changed your mind on certain goals.

You may glance through the list and notice you are not as enthusiastic about some of these plans as you were when you first made them. As long as you have genuinely lost interest, and you are not just fishing for reasons to quit, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with changing some of your aspirations. As I mentioned in the other article, nothing you write down has to be set in stone, we change over time.

3. You may want to add new goals to your list.

Just like the point made above, we are bound to develop new interests overtime. If we want to continue growing then we should act on these interests and see what difference we can make. Maybe you have noticed yourself becoming more and more interested in learning how to cook extravagant recipes? Maybe you have always wanted to have your own garden? Maybe you have always wanted to write a short story? Add these to your list. Don’t be too disparaged about making too many goals. You can always pursue them one at a time and you have plenty of time left here on Earth…don’t plan on checking out until you are lying on your deathbed.

4. Some goals are becoming less and less likely to achieve.

Perhaps there are some goals you are really interested but you simply don’t have the resources or power to do them anymore. Maybe you’re getting too old to continue those dreams of becoming a baseball player for the New York Yankees, or you don’t have the reputation to become a local politician. If you can acknowledge which goals are becoming more and more unrealistic then you can begin to filter them from the list. Yeah, it sucks and it can temporarily hurt your drive, but it is better than wasting resources on things that you stand little chance of accomplishing. Better to know your limitations then to act irrationally and set yourself up for more hurt later on.

5. Some goals you are on your way towards completing.

Hopefully you are still pursuing the goals that you find worth working towards. If you have the will and persistence, then there is nothing stopping you from getting what needs to get done in order to make that next leap in your life. All that is required is that you keep up with your plans and continue to add in the details as you move closer and closer to the finish line. Even when your main goal stays the same, the path towards achieving it will continue to transform as you follow it. You must set out to constantly update your “mental map” in the face of new information and new experiences. This describes an element of persistence that is often overlooked.

How often should I re-evaluate my goals?

You want to be consistent but not excessive. At least once every 1 or 2 months should be a healthy refresher. Doing things like this can really be a great exercise, because it allows you to step back and keep your mind concentrated on the things you really wish to make out of life, instead of letting yourself get lost in the hectic tides of a busy work schedule. When I reflect back on my goals, I like to think of it as a kind of meditation. It is a way to further prepare myself for the things I am going to set out and do.

Good planning means adding details

Like Abraham Lincoln says in the quote above, “A goal properly set is halfway reached.” But what does it mean to properly set a goal? Although making lists like the ones we just discussed can be useful, good planning requires that we add details to our goals. So, you want to be a doctor? That’s great! But what steps do you have to take to get there? For starters, you will probably need to maintain a high GPA all throughout college if you want to get into medical school. But that is just the surface, as you plan further you will need to continuously fill in more and more details.

Where are the best places to get the details?

Depending on your goals there are a variety of ways to seek guidance. The internet has proven to be one of the most valuable resources within our recent history. If you are unsure about anything, you can go to forums to ask questions, search something on Google, find a blog of someone who is a professional, find a video of someone doing it on Youtube, or read about the subject on Wikipedia.

You can also talk to friends, family, coworkers, or fellow students who may have experience with what you want to accomplish. Maybe your uncle’s best friend used to own his own music studio, and you want to learn more about recording so you can release your own album. Or maybe your goal is to get your grades up, but you are having difficulty scoring well on your calculus tests so you find a friend who can tutor you. Ask around, a lot of answers may be right in front of you.

Another thing I like to do when learning more is to go to my local library. As long as you live in the area you should be able to get a library card and take out books, CDs, and even DVDs for free. This is a great way to find informational gems that you would otherwise not get on the internet or through friends. In many ways, the library is what sets you apart from the pack. I am always in the middle of a book in order to keep my mind sharp.

There are all ways you can become more familiar with your goals and how to get there. I encourage you to take an active process in educating yourself, as it is the foundation of what it means to become a good and successful planner.

Visualization and “seeing all the way through”

Sometimes people make a mistake and say, “I just didn’t see it all the way through.”

Neurolinguistic Programming, a set of interpersonal and intrapersonal communication strategies developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder, takes this phrase literally.

NLP assumes that when individuals make decisions regarding the future that they have a particular vision or mental map in their heads about how these events will transpire. Some of these maps are more effective than others. It is our job as free thinking and self-motivating individuals to reflect back on these maps and update them in order to best serve our goals and values.

Creating a virtual reality, or what I like to thing of as a “mental playground,” allows us to utilize resources in our minds to better prepare ourselves for the future. NLP is hardly the first school to teach the benefits of visualization. In fact, this sort of practice can probably be traced all the way back to the meditations done by Buddhist monks when they visualize symbols of metta (loving-kindess) in order to help deal with interpersonal conflicts.

On top of this, visualizations is finally getting some recognition by science as a legitimate technique to change our attitude and behavior. It has been used in Sports Psychology for decades now, and as reported by one psychiatrist and brain researcher at the Huffington Post,

“Although visualization was regarded as “new age hype” for many years, research has shown that there is a strong scientific basis for how and why visualization works. It is now a well-known fact that we stimulate the same brain regions when we visualize an action and when we actually perform that same action. For example, when you visualize lifting your right hand, it stimulates the same part of the brain that is activated when you actually lift your right hand. This shared area of brain activation when we imagine an action and perform it has been demonstrated extensively in the scientific literature. A striking example of how visualization increases brain activation is seen in stroke.

When a person has a stroke due to a blood clot in a brain artery, blood cannot reach the tissue that the artery once fed with oxygen and nutrients, and that tissue dies. This tissue death then spreads to the surrounding area that does not receive the blood any more. However, if a person with this stroke imagines moving the affected arm or leg, brain blood flow to the affected area increases and the surrounding brain tissue is saved. Imagining moving a limb, even after it has been paralyzed after a stroke, increases brain blood flow enough to diminish the amount of tissue death. This is a very clear indicator of the power of visualization. “

I think it is safe to say that visualization can be great method for improving learning and goal-setting. It allows us to consciously prepare an idea, even though we haven’t practiced it in the real world.

By using our mind’s eye we can prepare ourselves for possible events in the future. It is also sometimes used in NLP as an “ecology check.” This means we can imagine ourselves doing certain acts and check to see if they are congruent with our original intentions. One strategy for getting into medical school might be to “cheat off others on tests,” but a proper visualization would entail the possibility of getting caught, in which the risks severely outweigh the benefits.

Visualization is most effective when we take into account these different ranges of possibilities, and how different decisions can lead to different sets of outcomes. This is a big part of what it means to “see things all the way through.”

However, with all this being said, visualizing yourself achieving your goals does have its limitations. To start, there is always a level of uncertainty about the future. There are things that could happen that we might never predict or imagine; for this reason, all of our mental maps are imperfect. We can only plan for the future in the best way we can given the information we have.

Another limitation of visualizing is that it doesn’t get you anywhere in-and-of-itself. Unlike some claims made by books like “The Secret,” the act of visualizing is only one step towards achieving your goals. Sitting in your room imagining things all day won’t ever get you what you want. Visualization is a form of planning, not a form of doing – please don’t get the two confused.

Wrapping it up

I think I have left you here with more than enough information to get you started on improving your goals. All of these techniques here I have applied to my own life with success. Of course, none of these are magic pills – they take work – but if you do put in the time and effort they can sometimes seem magical. Good luck with achieving your goals, keep your mind focused, and I will be sure to come back to this topic again to expand more on these methods.

Earlier this week I posted an article entitled, “Business-Minded Spirituality.” My plan wasn’t to prove that businesses are inherently good-intentioned, only that one can have a successful business while still keeping their morals and values intact.

Businesses themselves are tremendously powerful vehicles of change, but they don’t just fall from the sky. They start within the mind of a single individual – with an idea, a thought, or an intention. The individual who acts upon these ideas changes his world, whether it is for better or worse.

A better self means a better world, no matter how small or large our impact might be. This is a powerful insight. If we can recognize our personal growth as part of the growth of a greater whole, we can begin to align ourselves with this greater sense of being. All of a sudden, we become more inspired and motivated to improve life conditions for our self and others.

Please take a moment to reflect on your own goals of self-improvement. Ask yourself: “In what ways do these goals benefit the world as a whole?” If you cannot find any reasons – then it may be time to rethink your strategy and mindset.

If all you want out of life is money, sex, and fame – but you neglect the interests of others – then you probably won’t get any of these. And even if you do, your success will be short-lived and ultimately unsatisfying.

This attitude I am describing takes an element of responsibility and courage. We often like to neglect our interconnectedness and interdependency with others. Our ego would rather see itself as separate and distinct; we figure this is the only way to see our self if we want to rise above and be successful. But we are limited in our capacity for improvement if we neglect the well-being of others along the way.

I challenge my readers to reframe their goals within this context of “world improvement” in order to foresee the greater implications of their actions. When I reflect back on my own list of goals, a couple of things become immediately apparent to me.

Take for example my goal to “Graduate From College.” On the surface this is nothing but a self-serving goal. Certainly by graduating I am not directly affecting any other person’s future. But what I accomplish through college allows me to become better equipped to serve society at large than if I were not to get a good education at all.

This exercise allows you to reframe your goals without changing the content of the goal in-itself. Instead, it strengthens your intentions to achieve these goals. It motivates you. It aligns your will with a “higher power.”

The future of self improvement should be seen within this new context of world improvement. As I mentioned before, you can change this attitude with the simple question, “How do my goals serve the greater whole of humanity?” This allows you to become more affirmed in your values and aspirations. It puts you in a stronger position of personal power. And, it guides you to new ways of concern and compassion toward others.

How do your goals serve the greater whole of humanity?

We are creatures of routine and habit, but we also creatures of adaptation and change. Our actions are purposeful because they are always aimed to achieve some goal. Even something as simple as getting up to get a glass of water can be described in terms of our intentions to quench our thirst.

Often the most successful people in our society are the ones who are the best planners. They are visionaries. They have the ability to direct their intentions in ways that others are unfamiliar with. They can see a path from point A to point B and, although it may not be correct from step-to-step, they have the incentive to start walking it.

But the future is filled with uncertainty. Therefore, as these individuals step forward, they must adjust their game plan in the face of new experiences and new information.

Despite these uncertainties, it is always useful to write down our plans for the future. In a way, this is our first step towards turning our dreams into reality. By thinking and writing about these things we are building these goals into our neurology through brainstorming, building associations, identifying problems, and generating solutions.

To give you an example I will create a timeline of my own. I call these timelines “progressive” because they begin by focusing in on a single day and then they zoom out to a scope of ten years or more. This is a really interesting way to expand your awareness from a single moment to a greater and longer course of action.

I recommend a minimum of five items for each point on your timeline. This should give you enough flexibility to touch on various aspects of your life. Later in this post I will expand on what you can do to improve these timelines for greater efficacy.

Within A Day

• Finish this blog post.
• Call Mom and Dad to check up on how they are doing.
• Finish reading my textbook for History & Systems of Psychology.
• Start studying for my Psychophysiological Awareness Class.
• Go out tonight so I can enjoy my last party weekend in Binghamton, NY

Within A Week

• Study and complete two of my Final exams.
• Return my books to the Science Library.
• Write another blog post or two.
• Begin wrapping up work in other classes.
• Start packing up my stuff for home.

Within A Month

• Graduate from college.
• Find a decent-paying job back at home.
• Reach under 100,000 traffic rank in the U.S. on Alexa.com
• Start volunteering at a church back home.
• Start dating again.

Within A Year

• Start writing a book.
• Layout the major framework for starting my own business.
• Get certified in hypnosis by the National Guild of Hypnotists.
• Find a girlfriend.
• Expand my network and social circle.
• Join a gym and work on building muscle strength and endurance.

Within Five Years

• Become self-employed.
• Move to a place I have always wanted to live.
• Get my book edited and published.
• Record a music album for the sole intention of artistic expression.
• Pursue a graduate degree in a field of Psychology (Clinical, Industrial, Transpersonal or Positive Psychology)

Within Ten Years

• Travel Europe.
• Get married and start a family.
• Invest some time, energy, and capital to help other small businesses succeed.
• Become more involved in political activism and campaigning.
• Dedicate time to an activist group who supports a cause I strongly believe in.

Improving Your Timeline

Once you create your timeline you can always go back and update it. As I said in the introduction, true visionaries rarely see the whole path in its entirety; rather, they need to constantly draw up their mental map and upgrade it.

Later in the day you may find that you have forgotten a goal of yours. In a month from now you may change your mind about pursuing a past goal. Nothing is set in stone.

Being dedicated is one thing, but being too stubborn to change your ways in the face of new knowledge is a different story. Use your best judgment when making these decisions. Always remember to weigh out the costs and benefits before pursuing any course of action.

As I also said earlier, this kind of exercise is great for re-wiring your brain in preparation of these goals. I already notice more clarity in my thinking after only spending 15-20 minutes writing up this list. You can improve upon this notion by revisiting your list and using your imagination to see, feel and experience what it would be like to do these goals. What type of actions are entailed? How would it feel once you have achieved what you set out to do? Ask yourself these types of questions in order to get the mind more productive and creative in fulfilling these aspirations. It would be even more effective if you wrote down these imaginations.

I will be updating in the near future with another post to expand more on these types of exercises.

It is hard enough to set goals and achieve them on your own. But in times faced with criticism the feat can sometimes seem impossible.

It is not so much that criticism is a bad thing. In fact, it can even be seen as a necessary thing for anyone on a path towards personal development.

The problem with most criticism however is those on the receiving end have a hard time discerning the good and valuable criticism with those that end up being counterproductive. What ends up happening is that instead of using criticism to empower us and make us push ourselves forward, we end up folding under pressure or even ignoring our own strength and expertise.

In this article I hope to give a quick outline on how to discern the good criticism from the bad criticism, and how we can use this criticism to improve our life goals and ourselves.

GENERAL GUIDELINE FOR DISCERNING GOOD-BAD CRITICISM

Nowadays especially, everyone is a critic. This could be due to the ever-growing information age we now live in. The internet, TV and movies have lead everyone to believe they know a lot more than they really do about the real world.

In one sense, our generation does know much, much more than past generations, and we may be surprised where good criticism can sometimes come from. But in many other ways we have largely become misinformed, and bad ideas can begin to spread like wild fire. This (mis)information frenzy has left many of us helpless and discombobulated when it comes to picking out the good from the bad, right from the wrong, and truth from the lies.

One of the first things you need to do in the face of criticism is to evaluate the source of it. Important questions to ask include:

1. Does this person know me?
2. Does this person understand my intentions?
3. To what extent does this person have experience with what I am trying to do?

These types of questions are crucial because they put the criticism into context.

Depending on the answers, some follow-up questions may also be in order.

If the answer to (1) is “YES”, then consider:

A. Is this the type of person who just wants to make me feel happy and pleased or are they actually concerned about me improving my product?

Your grandparents, for example, may be more likely to fit into the former. This would mean they are prone to give compliments to practically anything you share with them contrary to the actual quality of what you produced or accomplished. With this knowing, you will find most of their criticism unhelpful.

If the answer to (2) is “NO”, then consider:

B. Did I not make my intentions clear?

If someone doesn’t seem to understand what you were intending to accomplish then this can mean one of two things. First, they may just be unfamiliar with what you are doing (such as criticism from someone about your art even though they have no prior knowledge of art history or that particular style). The second thing to consider is that you did not present your intentions clearly. The critic may just be unaware of what it was you were trying to accomplish simply because you did not present yourself well. This is important to keep in mind. If you find people are continuously misunderstanding your intentions than you may need to reevaluate your approach.

Depending on the answer to (3), you must consider how well an “outsider” (someone who has no experience with what you are doing) can offer criticism to your product. Just because someone doesn’t have experience doesn’t mean they cannot give good advice. At times, I find the best and most brutally honest advice comes from young children, all despite their lack of experience and limited worldview.

After considering the source of the criticism you now have a somewhat good idea on how much weight their words will have. From here we can focus on the words and criticism itself.

Here are some general indicators of poor criticism:

1. Name-calling and ridiculing
2. Poor spelling and grammar
3. Irrelevant advice and tangents
4. Sense of hostility or aggression
5. Curt sentences with no further explanation

On the other hand, indicators of productive criticism can include:

1. At least one or two compliments on what you are already doing right
2. Good spelling and grammar
3. Clear and elaborate explanations on what to do better
4. Providing helpful examples
5. A willingness to answer further questions and concerns

HOW TO TAKE CRITICISM

All of the above are general guidelines on how to discern good and bad advice, which can be an incredibly important skill, but what is sometimes even more important is how you take the advice and what you do with it. Even some of the worst advice can be turned into gold with the right perspective and attitude.

The most important things one can do is to depersonalize the criticism. This can sometimes be difficult, especially when the criticism itself involves name-calling and ridiculing. By depersonalizing the criticism, you are detaching your “core self,” and instead focusing on the individual behaviors and strategies that need improvement. Always remember that it is not YOU that is the problem, just your actions that need adjusting. In Positive Psychology, University of Pennsylvania researcher Martin Seligman came up with the term “Learned Optimism” to describe the habit of attributing one’s failures to causes that are variable (not permanent) and specific (limited to a specific action or set of circumstances). By doing this we are less likely to form limiting beliefs such as: “I just won’t ever be good at this!”

By depersonalizing the criticism, we can begin to evaluate its worth from a more objective standpoint. You can be a better listener, because you are not so concerned with protecting your ego. Make sure you intently listen to all criticism that you receive, and try to pick out which is helpful and which is garbage. If there is some advice you don’t understand then be sure to ask questions. Good, helpful critics should be more than happy to further explain themselves to benefit your understanding. If they don’t respond back to you then it is up to you to interpret the advice to the best of your ability and see if there is anything of value. Don’t worry if there isn’t – you may find a lot of criticism just deserves being shoved under the rug. Don’t get too hooked up on advice that you don’t understand. It may either be over your head, depending on your current skill level, or simply badly constructed advice.

THAT BOILING SENSATION

Every now and then you are going to come across a critic who really gets under your skin and makes your blood boil. I have had numerous experiences with this and each time it has become a great opportunity for personal growth.

Sometimes you can become so pissed off that if the critic is right there in front of you, you will get a quick urge to just pounce on them and strangle them to death. It is a really strong feeling and whenever it arises it is a good indicator that there is something to learn.

My first thoughts after encountering such a critic are almost always along the lines of: “This person is out of their mind to think something like this. Either that or they are a complete and utter idiot!”

I am talking about the critics that really get you fuming – smoke pouring out the ears and all.

What does this sensation mean? Yes, perhaps, the critic really is a complete ass or tool. But whenever I find myself so worked up about something someone has said, I immediately reflect inwards to see what it is exactly that is bothering me to such a degree.

You may find that you need to do a better job at depersonalizing the criticism. Your reaction is only proving that you took the advice deep in your heart and thus you feel strongly affected by it.

Another possibility is that the critic struck a chord with you on a belief, attitude, or strategy that you had prematurely taken for granted. By hearing advice that is so in contrast with how you typically view the world, you are bound to get stressed out and upset. These moments where you find yourself at the will of your anger (and other strong emotions) are moments that should be contemplated in solitude or even meditation. Take a deep breathe, keep your cool, thank the critic for their advice, and then evaluate its value when you have the time by yourself.

Sometimes upon reflection you will find that a large portion of the blame should be placed onto the critic. They either didn’t understand you or even felt threatened by you. But because you got so upset by this critique, it is important to also reflect on yourself and your own foundation of attitudes and beliefs. At the very least, you will find that your view is not the only way to see things and, if you take the advice as a professional, you can use this experience to strengthen yourself in ways that aren’t possible through normal and more friendly-oriented critics. Remember, even the most successful people on the planet have their fair share of critic rivals. The difference between the successful and the unsuccessful is that the former knows how to turn every experience into an opportunity to learn and improve. No matter how likeable and skilled you are, you will never get rid of all your haters. This is okay as they are only there to strengthen your character.