The thesis of Aboujaoude’s book is that the world wide web can have a very profound affect on our sense of self. In fact, it can cause a kind of “digital divide” between our digital self, how we often think and behave online, and our offline self, how we often think and behave in face-to-face, “real world” interactions.

Aboujaoude has observed this divide in many of his own patients who engage heavily in online behavior – anywhere from creating fakes profiles on dating sites to impulsive online shopping to delusional thinking about reality (to the point where individuals begin to consider the reality of virtual worlds like Second Life and World of Warcraft more real than their lives offline).

Some of the case studies and examples in Virtually You are clearly reflective of individuals who already have a propensity for mental disorders. The internet just provided an outlet that exacerbated the problem, and clearly not everyone who engages in online behavior is going to develop a mental disorder.

However, the bigger lesson in Aboujaoude’s book is that the internet does play a very causal role in our lives and well being – and thus it is important to be very mindful of our online behavior. In addition to his case studies and anecdotes about patients and friends, Aboujaoude shares a lot of compelling research in psychology, neuroscience, economics, and sociology that seems to indicate that in many ways the internet is a unique kind of environment that creates a very different kind of self-perception (one which can affect both our online and offline behavior).

The author identifies several negative personality traits that tend to manifest in our e-personality or digital self:

Delusions of Grandeur

To many, the internet holds great promises of freedom, wealth, power, and opportunity.

One great example of this is the dot com bubble. When it first began, many people jumped into their own online business expecting easy money and overnight success. And while many companies did experience some temporary success, once the bubble burst they quickly discovered just how much of it was a false dream.

Of course, the internet can be a powerful tool that does increase opportunity for success, but for many it can also create delusions of grandeur and omnipotence. While on the web, it’s very easy to feel like “the sky is the limit” – thus everyone seems to think they are capable of some share of the fame, success, or power that the internet seems to be so abundant with.

This exaggerated perception only feeds our egos and causes us to act with “irrational exuberance” – often leading to some ultimately destructive behaviors and big disappointments. The dot com bubble is one of the most salient examples of this, but false hopes are built everyday when impressionable minds see the success experienced by YouTube sensations like Justin Bieber, or other internet success stories that seem to erupt almost spontaneously.

Everyday more and more people expect the internet to be their path to fame and fortune. In the book, Aboujaoude compares this exaggerated perception of opportunity to the California Gold Rush in the 19th century. And while the dot com bubble has already burst, Aboujaoude fears that – like a patient with bipolar disorder – more manic episodes are beginning to erupt due to the allure of success that plagues almost all corners of the internet.

Narcissism

Narcissism is a kind of excessive self-love, and another common byproduct of developing our e-personality or digital self. The fact is: due to our growing ability to customize and edit our online presence, it’s very easy to get caught in the trap of thinking we are more important than we really are. Anyone who uses sites like Facebook, YouTube, or Twitter has probably exaggerated some claims about themselves in order to seem more like their “ideal” self, even if it is just building your friends list so that you seem more popular.

Digital technology and the internet seem to provide us with a way to cover up our flaws and imperfections in a way we never could before. This includes anything from using photoshop to edit our pictures, to lying about our career on a forum or dating site, to acting with an inflated sense of self-importance while in a chatroom or forum. More and more, the gap between our “real self” and “digital self” seems to be growing greater and greater.

Similar to delusions of grandeur, the internet gives us an artificial sense of power over our own self-improvement and self-esteem. In some ways, Aboujaoude claims this reflects a drive for us to be more “God-like,” and the internet provides us with the tools to make this ideal self seem like more of a possibility than ever before.

With this kind of perceived opportunity, who would want to be tethered to the physical limitations of the real world? Why be old, short, fat, and bald when you can create a young, tall, dark, handsome version of yourself in a virtual world, like in Second Life? And instead of having to find a real girlfriend, you can just create an avatar of your ideal girlfriend? Many people are becoming increasingly infatuated with the freedom and customization of virtual worlds, and they are willing to neglect their offline lives in order to dedicate more and more time to their fantasies.

Aggression

This formation of a “digital self” often doesn’t just harm our own self-perception, but also the people we choose to treat while inhabiting this self. Because the internet can give us a superficial sense of power and authority, many people often abuse this power by hurting others. Cyberbullying especially is becoming a huge problem in schools everywhere. Some victims have been so badly harassed online that they have dropped out of school or even committed suicide.

Unlike traditional bullying, the identity of the cyberbully is unknown in almost half the cases. This kind of anonymity often causes individuals to act in ways far more cruelly and with less inhibition than they would in face-to-face interactions. In other words, the internet creates an environment that can often bring out the very worst in people. Once individuals begin hiding behind a mouse and keyboard, morality tends to be thrown out the window, because most people are never held accountable for their actions.

In addition, time spent in other virtual environments, such as in violent videogames, has also been shown to increase offline aggression in children, teens, and young adults. In a cross-cultural longitudinal study done by psychologist Craig Anderson, of the Center for the Study of Violence at Iowa State University, researchers studied 1,500 participants over the course of a year and found that individuals who played violent videogames on a regular basis were twice as likely to show aggressive tendencies later in the year (compared to those who were not engaged in these videogames). Researchers of the study attribute this effect in videogames to it’s interactive nature, and the idea that games often reward players for killing, and over time desensitive them to the moral consequences of violence.

Similar phenomenon of desensitization can also be seen in individuals who watch gory and disturbing videos online (such as terrorists getting their heads chopped off, or a woman stomping a helpless kitten to death with her stiletto heels). Many internet users show an offbeat curiosity for watching these kinds of videos, but they are also unaware of how these videos warp our perceptions of reality and habituate us to some truly violent and disturbing acts.

I remember getting my first dose of gory pictures (probably from a site like Rotten.com) when I was a young user of the internet. Since then I have seen many other disturbing images and videos, and over time I’ve noticed the “shock value” of many of these videos diminish – probably as a result of gradual desensitization. It’s important sometimes to take a step back and realize that these are real people doing really atrocious things, and we should be mindful of the curiosity and offbeat “entertainment” we sometimes get from viewing this kind of material.

Impulsivity

The ease of accessibility – and “instant gratification” – we often get from the internet makes us much more inclined to act impulsively. So many sites and online stores now have “one click” purchases and memberships, and this leaves us very little room to reflect on our decisions before making them.

Of course, things like impulsive shopping and gambling have existed long before the internet has. However, the internet seems to exacerbate the problem to an unprecedented level. A study published in a 2002 issue of the journal Psychology of Addictive Behaviors found that online gamblers were 3 times more likely to show signs of pathological gambling. And although there are no specific studies published yet on how the internet affects impulsive shopping, one has to wonder what role the web has played in the recent surge of consumer debt and credit card debt since the late 1990s.

Our consumerist culture thrives more and more on online shopping. Almost any item you want is just a few clicks away, whether on Amazon, Ebay, or craigslist. And now that our money has taken an intangible, digital form, it’s far easier for us to give into these temptations without considering the true long-term costs of our behavior.

Before the internet, buying something was a multi-step process. You had to physically leave your house, get in the car or walk to the store, pick-up the item, take the money out of your pocket, and hand it over to the cashier. Today, however, there is hardly any inconvenience, and there is similarly no potential for public scrutiny or shame in being a compulsive shopper. We can buy and buy, without ever feeling the repercussions or guilt (that is, until we get our bill the next month, and realize the real financial consequences from our impulsive decisions).

Infantile Regression and the Tyranny of the Emoticon

Aboujaoude is a big critic of emoticons and internet terminology. While he recognizes it as an interesting phenomenon from a linguistic perspective, he also strongly believes that it is contracting and regressing language in a destructive way.

“According to Brazilian linguist Sergio Costa, much of the communicating that happens online is in a childlike language. Just as children who do not master the conventions of language write in abbreviated code, rich in neologisms and pictorial characters, adults in their e-mails, blogs, and text messages adopt these less sophisticated forms of communication, willfully using lowercase when capitalization is indicated, and freely shortening and conflating words. The use of the emoticon represents an equally simple substitute for complex communication – who needs to carefully process feelings and logically organize thoughts before finally communicating a state of mind, when a simple hieroglyphics can convey everything…and nothing?”

Our need for speedy and immediate communication has caused us to abbreviate and over-simplify language to our own detriment. According to a 2005 study published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, many people are “overconfident in their ability to communicate sarcasm, seriousness, anger, and sadness over e-mail.” The study also shows that people were overconfident in their ability to detect these emotions via e-mail. This suggests that emoticons and common internet terminology are often inadequate to properly explaining our thoughts and emotions to others. It has reduced our digital self to an “infant-like” use of language, and in many ways has dumbed down a lot of online dialogue.

I will add that I think Aboujaoude’s criticisms of online terminology are a bit unfair. I find there to be an elegance and creativity in expressing myself in under 140 characters (such as in a tweet or Facebook status or text message). But I also think it’s important that we remain mindful of our contraction/”regression” of language throughout our online conversations – because while it may be useful in some contexts, it shouldn’t spill over into conversations that need more context and deeper thinking. If we lose the capacity to think out rational arguments and have deep and profound conversations, then I think we are going in the wrong direction. Clearly, as much as I love tweeting, I love writing lengthy and informative posts too. We need both in healthy communication.

Love and Sex Recalibrated

The internet is also greatly affecting our perceptions on relationships, love, and sex. You can’t visit a website or open your inbox without seeing some kind of spam or advertisement for how to improve your love life or sex life. We get exposed to sexual “ideals” and quick fixes on a daily basis, and these stimuli play a major role in how we perceive ourselves, our relationships, and our sexual preferences.

According to Aboujaoude, the internet and sex are inextricably intertwined. Data corroborated from comScore and Family Safe Media in 2005-2006 found:

• The average internet user spends a quarter of an hour a day viewing pornography.
• One in 5 men view pornography online while at work.
• More than a third of downloads are pornographic.
• A quarter of all search engine requests are pornographic.
• More than a third of Internet users report unwanted exposure to sexual material.

Digital technology has created a means for people to satisfy their sexual appetite both online and offline, and to some extent it has had some really negative consequences.

For example, individuals who find sexual partners online are often more likely to contract STDs, and Aboujaoude makes a convincing argument that the internet facilitates sexual encounters to a much greater ease than without the internet, because: 1) It helps us manage first impressions better, and 2) It allows us to begin building a trustful relationship (through “virtual intimacy”) before ever meeting someone in person. In one study published in 2007 by the journal Sexuality Research and Social Policy, 30% of women engaged in sexual activity during their first face-to-face meeting with someone they met online – but most didn’t consider it a “one night stand.”

The internet allows us to facilitate courtship in a far easier and faster way then actually going out on dates in person (where we probably learn far more about each other). Due to this, Aboujaoude believes that the internet might be considered it’s own independent risk factor in the contraction of STDs.

In addition to this, the rise of cellphones and texting (mobile versions of our “digital self”) have also brought about a new phenomenon of sexual activity: sexting. According to a 2008 survey of 1,280 participants, commissioned by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 22 percent of all teenage girls said they have posted online, e-mailed, or sexted nude or seminude images of themselves. Out of boys, 18 percent reported posting or sending pictures of themselves. Most do it to be “fun or flirtatious” or as a “joke,” but the joke usually ends once these images make it to the public domain, where people begin sharing them with their peers, coworkers, and Facebook friends.

In many ways, the internet has saved individuals from social isolation and helped people find fulfilling relationships in their lives that they probably wouldn’t have found otherwise. But it is important to be aware of these dark aspects of our online lives that can sometimes foster destructive habits and attitudes when going about relationships and sexual behavior. Part of it probably has to do with “Impulsivity,” “Narcissism,” and other traits of our digital self and e-personality. One thing is for certain however: the internet is drastically changing the way many of us conduct our relationships.

Illusion of Knowledge

According to Aboujaoude, the internet has bestowed a “false mastery of knowledge.” While we have so much information right at the tips of our fingers, especially with access to sites like Google and Wikipedia, many of us begin to think we are more qualified and educated than we really are.

In fact, partly because there is just so much information on the internet, many of us can’t be bothered to read lengthy articles or prose. Instead, according to Jacob Nielsen (an early authority on Web page “usability”) 79% of online readers scan, rather than read word-for-word. Often readers can’t be bothered to dig into text in order to find a piece of information or an answer to a problem. Instead, we like our information highlighted or put into a small bullet-point list, something that is easily digestible and doesn’t lose our waning attention.

Nicholas Carr wrote an article a few years ago expressing a big concern for this new way of reading and absorbing new information, called “Is Google Making Us Stupid?” He argues from personal experience that because we have become so hooked on immediate gratification and immediate information from the internet, our attention spans (and our ability to focus) have declined significantly. To date, several studies have shown a link between Attendion Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and internet use.

Internet Addiction

Considering all the conveniences and desires that the internet seems to provide our digital self, it’s probably not too surprising that internet addiction has been on the rise over the years. According to some sources, the Internet can sometimes suck up 45 days per year in some urban centers.

According to a survey done by Aboujaoude and his researchers, 4-14% of the general population show evidences of problematic internet use, such as:

• 6% said their personal relationships suffered as a consequence of internet use.
• 6% regularly went online to escape negative moods.
• 9% felt they had to hide their internet use.
• 11% regularly stayed online for longer than they intended.
• 14% had a hard time staying offline for days in a row.

Although the diagnosis of “Internet Addiction” isn’t yet included in the DSM (Diagnostics and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), Aboujaoude believes that it will soon be, as he finds there is compelling evidence that internet addiction is a solely new kind of obsessive behavior that isn’t yet properly researched or recognized in academic psychology.

The Future of Our Digital Self

Now with the surge of online mobile devices, our digital self is playing a bigger and bigger role in our lives. In all likelihood, the digital self isn’t going away, which is why it is so important to pay attention to the warnings in Virtually You so that we can avoid many of these pitfalls in our future online behavior.

Personally, at times I find some of Aboujaoude’s writing a little alarmist and blown out of proportion, but that doesn’t takeaway from the bigger lessons in Virtually You, which I believe every individual is going to need to come to terms with as our virtual world continues to grow, evolve, and become more integral to our daily lives.

I believe there is a strong psychological power in using words like “God” and “prayer,” and I often use this kind of language to facilitate my own personal development.

I consider prayer a form of self-hypnosis. It’s a way to connect with our inner agent of change – our “God” (if you so wish to call it that), and in return we can use these powerful words and symbols to motivate ourselves to be better people.

About a year ago I was going through some spiritual and emotional turmoil. By this time I had already been practicing self-hypnosis for a couple years, and I was contemplating ways to make my practice more effective.

Before we begin, I should probably explain what hypnosis is to me. Hypnosis is primarily about language and the meaning behind language. Specifically, it deals with how we communicate ideas and suggestions to both ourselves and others.

For example, when someone is “highly suggestible,” a hypnotist can give a direct order and the person will probably act them out. They may suggest you “cluck like a chicken” and if you are suggestible enough you will follow through and pretend you are a chicken. Highly suggestible people make for great entertainment during staged shows.

However, hypnosis can also do something much deeper than just get people imagining weird scenarios and acting them out for fun. It can be an agent of real and powerful change that can greatly improve our lives.

A daily prayer is like a daily affirmation.

One of the most popular techniques in personal development literature is the use of affirmations. An affirmation is a suggestion you say to yourself on a frequent basis in hopes of creating a positive change in your life. Similar to a prayer.

For example, someone who has a short temper may want to use the affirmation: “I will be more calm and understanding when dealing with others.”

If they say this on a daily basis, with a clear focus and strong intent, they may find themselves acting more calmly and understanding to others. That is how affirmations work in a nutshell.

One of the books that first popularized the use of affirmations was Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich,” which was first published in 1937 (if you have ever read a personal development book ever, than you have certainly heard of this book).

However, the real origins of affirmations can probably be traced back to 19th century psychiatrist Émile Coué, discoverer of the placebo effect. (Coué noticed that he could improve the effectiveness of a drug by praising its effectiveness to his patients – another form of hypnosis or suggestion, but I’ll have to get more into this in later posts).

Coué’s famous affirmation was known as The Coué Method, which stated: “Everyday, in every way, I am getting better and better.” This was arguably one of the first affirmations, and it marked the beginning of personal development as we know it today.

Prayers are affirmation on steroids.

There is a lot of crap today about how to do affirmations. Some say as long as you read it 100 times a day and drill it in your head that they will work. I disagree. A meaningless affirmation repeated over and over won’t get you anywhere.

In order for any kind of suggestion to work, it must mean something and you must believe in its effectiveness.

If you go to Google searching for “daily affirmations,” you can find plenty that can help. However, the best affirmations are the one’s that come from your own creation, because they are the ones that are most meaningful to you – and that’s what really counts.

Similarly, in Thich Nhat Hanh’s book The Energy of Prayer, he emphasizes that a prayer is most effective when we don’t see its power as separate from ourselves, but a power that comes from within.

This is why I recommend you write your own prayers, which is really nothing more than a series of affirmations that best suit you and your goals.

An example of a prayer I wrote.

I’m going to write something on the spot, right now, to give you an idea of how your prayer might look when you are finished.

Let’s pretend I’m writing a prayer to help me improve my health.

Dear God,

Please give me the awareness and strength to make healthier decisions.

Before a meal, give me the awareness to know what I should and shouldn’t eat.

Throughout the day, give me the strength to exercise and stay fit.

Never let me forget that my body and mind are one,

And I must take care of both.

Thank you.

Okay, so I literally wrote this up in a minute, but the effect won’t occur unless I take this prayer seriously and read it on a daily basis.

The advice is simple and commonsense, but a quick reminder like this can help me cultivate healthier habits and take better care of myself throughout the day.

Here are some tips for making your daily prayer more effective:

• Use language that is meaningful to you.

Words like “awareness” and “strength” are important to me when trying to act healthier, so I made sure to include both in the prayer.

• Make your intentions clear.

You don’t want to send yourself mixed signals. Make sure you know exactly what you are aiming to achieve.

• Be focused when you recite your prayer.

Don’t just rush through your prayer. Minimize distractions and recite it with a clear and focused mind.

• Make it a long prayer or repeat certain lines.

My prayer was short, but I could have myself repeat it 3-5 times to amplify the effect. In the past, I have written much longer prayers, and this helps me to convey an even clearer message about what I want to change.

• Repeat it on a frequent basis.

Optimally, once or twice a day is best. But even just a weekly reminder can help reinstate your motive going into the next week.

Internal change vs. External demands

Some of you reading this may find this advice similar to Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret. However, I think there is an important distinction that needs to be made when talking about intentions and intention-manifesting.

Like I said earlier, the power of prayer is not something outside of ourselves. When we pray, we are not demanding something from the universe, but stimulating a change in ourselves to make things happen.

Sitting in a room all day praying cannot make you more healthy or wealthy all by itself. The idea is to change your mind first, and then your actions will follow.

You will know when your prayers are effective based on the results you get through your speech and behavior. If your prayer isn’t changing the way you act, then you need to change the way you pray.

Join my newsletter.

If you appreciated reading this, I invite you to join my newsletter to stay updated on new content. I also want to conduct some workshops in the near future on mental health and achieving your goals, and those on my newsletter will be the first to hear of the news (and get some discounts on top of that).

As always, thanks for your time.

“Researchers from CCARE [at Stanford University] have studied the use of neuroscientific models to understand how people make decisions about altruistic giving. They have analyzed the use of functional magnetic resonance imaging and other psychological measures to determine the effects of compassion training. Among the researchers are Buddhist and Catholic contemplative practitioners.

While CCARE’s interests may sound technical and complicated, the problems they hope to solve are not: How can we prevent caregiver burnout? Why do some kids become bullies? Can we teach people to be more compassionate?”

2. Are Only Humans Good Samaritans? by Vanessa Woods, evolutionary anthropologist from Duke University

“Comparisons between chimpanzees and humans have led to the hypothesis that only humans voluntarily share their own food with others. However, it is hard to draw conclusions because the food-sharing preferences of our more tolerant relative, the bonobo (Pan paniscus), have never been studied experimentally.”

3. Study confirms: What doesn’t kill us can make us stronger.

“We’ve all heard the adage that whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, but until now the preponderance of scientific evidence has offered little support for it.

However, a new national multi-year longitudinal study of the effects of adverse life events on mental health has found that adverse experiences do, in fact, appear to foster subsequent adaptability and resilience, with resulting advantages for mental health and well being.”

4. Nice guys usually get the girl in the end

“Psychologists believe that traits such as selflessness and altruism have become part of our genetic make-up because they were attractive to mates. They believe that as humans evolved, qualities such as being fittest and strongest were usurped by other qualities – such as offering a helping hand in bringing up the children.

‘The expansion of the human brain would have greatly increased the cost of raising children so it would have been important for our ancestors to choose mates both willing and able to be good, long-term parents,’ said Dr Tim Phillips and colleagues from the University of Nottingham and Institute of Psychiatry, King’s College, London. “

5. Bilingualism Good for the Brain

“Bilingual education is controversial in the United States, but a growing body of research shows that regularly speaking two languages comes with certain types of improved mental performance.

In a Perspective article appearing today in the journal Science, Jared Diamond of the University of California, Los Angeles, and author of ‘Guns, Germs and Steel’ highlights studies of bilingualism that show this effect.”

6. Psych Majors Aren’t Happy With Options

“Only 26% of psychology majors are ‘satisfied’ or ‘very satisfied’ with their career paths, the lowest in a sampling of popular majors included in a Wall Street Journal study. The psychology majors the survey captured had a satisfaction rate 14 percentage points lower than the next lowest majors, economics and environmental engineering.”

7. Need a study break to refresh? Maybe not, say Stanford researchers

“In a paper published this week in Psychological Science, the researchers challenge a long-held theory that willpower – defined as the ability to resist temptation and stay focused on a demanding task – is a limited resource. Scientists have argued that when willpower is drained, the only way to restore it is by recharging our bodies with rest, food or some other physical distraction that takes you away from whatever is burning you out.

Not so, says the Stanford team. Instead, they’ve found that a person’s mindset and personal beliefs about willpower determine how long and how well they’ll be able to work on a tough mental exercise.

‘If you think of willpower as something that’s biologically limited, you’re more likely to be tired when you perform a difficult task,’ said Veronika Job, the paper’s lead author. ‘But if you think of willpower as something that is not easily depleted, you can go on and on.’”

8. The Empathic Civilization

“Bestselling author, political adviser and social and ethical prophet Jeremy Rifkin investigates the evolution of empathy and the profound ways that it has shaped our development and our society.”

9. Brains hard-wired to connect with friends

“Our brains seem to be hard-wired to identify and ‘get’ our friends, a phenomenon that likely evolved to help ensure the survival of such a social species, research suggests. The brain-imaging study showed that increased activity in a network of brain regions took place when participants viewed pictures of themselves and thought about themselves as well as when they thought about friends (regardless of their similarities to each other).”

Hypnosis shouldn’t be associated with a particular state of consciousness or awareness. Different uses of hypnosis may call upon different mental states. A patient in hypnotherapy may be put in a deep sleep or trance state in order for the therapist to have better communicative-access to a patient’s subconscious mind; but a stage hypnotist allows his or her participants to keep their awareness focused outwards within one’s environment. Some hypnosis plays upon the imaginative and generative faculties of the mind, while other hypnosis utilizes the exploratory and perceptive faculties of the mind. So, there is no one mental “state” that hypnosis can be really associated to – this is why I keep its definition strictly in the realm of communication.

A hypnotist is essentially no different than a good communicator. A hypnotist must have a good sense of flexibility in his or her vocabulary, tone of voice, and body language in order to be the best communicator he or she can be. In other words, a suggestion that works on one individual does not necessarily work on another individual. This is due to the inherit subjective nature of language, meaning, and communication. There are some hypnosis techniques that are specifically designed to elicit this subjective information from the patient, and using this information a hypnotist can gain a better strategy on how to effectively communicate to that individual. Elicitation strategies are not always used by hypnotists, but they are especially common for hypnotherapists – those who are trying to reshape a participant’s underlying beliefs, attitudes, and thought patterns regarding a situation.

Stage hypnotists don’t need to do these elicitation strategies since many participants are volunteers and thus already have a high suggestibility or willingness to “play along” with the hypnotist. Another thing that plays a strong role in suggestibility during hypnosis shows is the social role of the hypnotist: he is the star and leader of the show, he has a certain aura of command within the room. Thus, it is easy to find obedient participants. And of course – these participants almost always have a fun time participating and using their imagination during hypnotist shows, so the entertainment aspect of hypnosis itself is always an enticing suggestion.

How do suggestions work?

Suggestions can work in the same multitude of ways in which we can learn. This can be through story-telling, analogies, asking questions, giving commands, providing information, evoking the imagination, encouraging contemplation, or a person’s body mannerisms and body posture – all of these are different mediums in which a suggestion can take place.

A third party does not even need to be present in order for a suggestion to be suggested. Instead, an individual may even suggest something to their own self and then try to convince this self that this suggestion is the right thing to do. This interaction is typically the conscious self speaking with the unconscious self. The unconscious self is best communicated to when it is brought into consciousness – this is why it is typically called “subconscious” (which is just a useful term for: mental activity than can be brought into conscious awareness. This is mental activity that is often ignored by the conscious mind, despite the role it plays in our thoughts and behaviors). Another way to describe it is our “conditioned self.” It is responsible for those actions we do that we continue doing, without question, because they have become second-nature.

Some hypnotists believe that all hypnosis is self-hypnosis. In other words, the “suggestion” always originates in the mind of the individual in which it is being suggested, and then from there the individual either accepts or declines the suggestion.

The environment plays an important role in suggestibility as well. If a hypnotist tells you over a YouTube video to quack like a chicken it may not be as effective then if you were in front of a live audience who are all waiting for you to respond as a chicken. In reality, this is little more than social pressure and conformity, but it is all suggestion when it comes to the world of hypnosis. A good hypnotist must therefore keep a strong mind on the environment, and the varying ways this can affect a particular person’s response to a suggestion.

What effects the degree of suggestibility?

A. The individuals preconditioned “map of the world.” In other words, his or her preconceived concepts, language tendencies, thought-patterns, attitudes, and behavioral tendencies to a given subject or situation.

B. The environment in which the suggestion is being given (You wouldn’t take a puff of a blunt right in front of grandma, but you might do it in the presence of a bunch of your friends).

C. The delivery of the suggestion: using effective verbal and reasoning skills, appropriate vocal tone, and congruent body language.

How can a hypnotist get better at giving suggestions and being an effective hypnotist?