Who hasn’t at one point in their life held a grudge against another? Sometimes we can hold these grudges for long periods of time and even years leading up until our death. Of course we may believe we are only acting out of principle, but we are in actuality hurting ourselves. It may seem like we are coming from a place of dignity and power, but we are only wasting our energy on things that cannot be changed.

By not forgiving others we are simultaneously denying ourselves forgiveness for our own mistakes. This hypocrisy can eat away at our spirit, cripple our ability to do good, and leave us feeling down and empty. Therefore it is important to address these feelings and find reconciliation.

So someone has hurt you. You cannot find the heart to forgive them. The very thought of what they did to you makes you sick to your stomach and you blame them for all the pain and suffering you have experienced because of them. In the moment, these feelings are rational and commonplace. It is something all humans inevitably go through. But – this too shall pass.

Forgiveness is a skill. And like any other skill it takes concentration and practice to develop. People have the capacity to do some really wretched and thoughtless acts onto other human beings. But once this is all said and done it doesn’t mean we have to stop living our lives to the fullest. Forgiveness is the key to moving on and letting go.

You too may recall past acts that have hurt yourself or others. The best thing about these acts is they are no longer here. But then why do you still suffer from their consequences?

It is because you are still carrying all the heavy weight that these experiences first bestowed upon you. What use do these attachments serve but to drain your energy? Imagine if you had the courage to forgive the person who had done this to you. You would become as light as a feather in the summer breeze.

You are still here alive and breathing. Time has already healed your wounds. Your negative thoughts are your ego telling you that you must seek revenge or justice, but you can already find content in what already is. You can even feel gratitude towards those who have hurt you. Your memory of their ignorance and ill will can become a well of knowledge for you to draw upon. You are better and more conscious because of this experience. Congratulations.

But – as valuable as it may be – it is not enough to simply learn from this experience. You must also love the person in spite of what they have done. They may have caused you pain but that is a reflection of their own suffering. Don’t pity them, but pray for their salvation. Send them your good intentions and wish for them to find true happiness.

If it is possible then contact the person and make it clear that you forgive them and that you wish them all the happiness in the world. You will immediately feel lighter and more free because of this. If you don’t have any means of communicating with the person, then meditate or pray on your good intentions. They will manifest themselves through your thoughts and actions by making you more kind and forgiving of others in the future.

As long as you are alive you are bound to run into other experiences where others might disappoint and hurt you. Use these opportunities to practice forgiveness. Through your example, you will teach others how to do the same and make the world a better place. To me, that is a much more useful and productive way to invest your energy.

“Give away the stone,
Let the ocean take and transmutate,
This cold and fated anchor.

Give away the stone,
Let the waters kiss and transmutate,
These leaden grudges into gold.”

- “The Grudge” by the alternative rock band Tool

“It’s hard to always show compassion — even to the people we love, but Robert Thurman asks that we develop compassion for our enemies. He prescribes a seven-step meditation exercise to extend compassion beyond our inner circle.”

“What kind of man was Ludwig von Mises? As this unique film shows, Mises (1881-1973) was a man who never stopped fighting for freedom: not when the Nazis burned his books, not when the Left blackballed him at universities, not when it seemed as if statism had won. With courage and genius, he fought big government until the day he died … in 25 books, hundreds of articles, and more than 60 years of teaching.

Mises was the twentieth century’s foremost economist, and one of its most important champions of Liberty. Here is a film that does justice to this extraordinary man, and to his equally extraordinary ideas.”

Scientists already know that nicotine is one of the most addictive drugs next to heroin. Those who are dependent on cigarettes on a daily basis are at risk of being labeled drug addicts. But how easy is it to tell the difference between drug addiction and choice of habit? And what is our obligation as a society to help those who are addicted and prevent others from getting hooked?

It isn’t just that smoking cigarettes is addictive; it is deadly too. And when we start seeing loved ones dying early due to lung cancer then the issue becomes more and more urgent to address.

There is, however, a distinct hypocrisy in how the U.S. government is trying to manipulate others to quit smoking.

On one side of the coin the government knows and propagates much information on the hazards of smoking cigarettes through different ad campaigns, as well legislation that requires cigarette companies to print warning labels on every pack. They recognize it as both a highly physical and psychological addiction, and rightfully so.

Many smokers understand that smoking is bad yet they still can’t quit. But what then does the government do to deter people from this nasty habit?

One popular choice is to raise taxes. President Obama signed a law earlier this year to raise taxes from 39 cents to $1.01 per pack of cigarettes and from 19.5 cents to 50 cents per pound for chewing tobacco, making it the single largest cigarette tax hike in our history. But how effective is this strategy and in what ways does it have unintended consequences?

For many in our country, cigarettes are not felt to be a luxury but a necessity. In economic terms, we would say cigarettes have a low elasticity in demand, meaning individuals are usually willing to pay more for the same quantity. We know full well how difficult cigarette withdrawals can be, we know how addictive nicotine is, yet government puts individuals in a situation where they are forced to fork more money out of their pockets to sustain their addiction. Some of these people are already experiencing difficult financial troubles. Is this right?

Raising taxes on cigarettes does more harm than good. Sure, some may grow the courage to quit. In fact, according to the Washington Post, 17.5% of New Yorkers quit after the first tax increase and ad campaign in 2006, but it doesn’t distinguish which was actually more effective: the tax increase or the ad campaign?

We can’t necessarily trust government pseudoscience on whether or not tax increases actually lower smoking rates. But even if tax increases do help some to kick the habit, the majority of smokers are being taken advantage of. It is even worse for those who are addicted the hardest.

This is no way to help people.

I would like to see society focus more on helping others through education rather than tax coercion. This means respecting others free will and free choice, but still looking out for their best interests.

To start, I appreciate the efforts of both profit and non-profit ad campaigns, education programs, and treatment facilities that help those who are willing to seek it.

But what about those who aren’t yet willing to seek help but may in fact need it? To what extent do we have the right to intervene on someone’s personal habits?

We then find ourselves back at the original question posed earlier: To what extent are individuals smoking by their own free choice, and to what extent do they need to be saved from themselves? What right do we have to intervene? And how much intervention is too much if we want to continue living in a free society?

These are the types of questions that we need to ask ourselves as a society. The answers will have major implications on future government policy – not just with cigarette smoking – but other health risks such as poor eating habits and the obesity epidemic.

How helpful is government force in correcting these problems while still respecting others’ free choice?

Or are there more effective (and less harmful) ways we can move society to a better state of health?

RELIGION AND MORAL BEHAVIOR

Out of good intentions or not, religion is largely an institution designed to control how others behave. In the Judeo-Christian tradition, the ten commandments and The Bible serve as the pillar of moral code.

The ten commandments, which were supposedly authored by God and handed down to the prophet Moses say:

1. I am the Lord your God.
2. Thou shall have no other gods before me.
3. Thou shall not use the name of the Lord your God in vain.
4. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.
5. Honor thy father and mother.
6. Thou shall not murder.
7. Thou shall not commit adultery.
8. Thou shall not steal.
9. Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
10. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s goods.

These are words that all good Christians and Jews should know and remember. At quick glance, and ignoring the superstitions regarding “God,” the ten commandments themselves seem like worthy recommendations of good conduct. Indeed, religion is largely an institution that glorifies love and respect for everyone, and thus the messages of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam are so permeating throughout our world and culture. In many ways the values held by Judaism and Christianity have even shaped the Western legal systems we have today (even despite modern day secularism in politics).

MORALITY IN THE NAME OF RELIGION

Moral actions that are done in the name of religion are a different story, and often not as desirable as the conduct that is promoted in The Bible. Human history has been littered with holy wars, killing and otherwise immoral behavior – all in the name of a supposed all-knowing and all-loving God.

Something just doesn’t add up. What is it about the teaching of religion that can lead people to do such heinous acts?

I have a couple possible explanations. For one, humans are by nature imperfect. Some of them may misunderstand the teachings of their religion. Another reason may be that heavy emotions like greed, lust and hate get the better of an individual despite their religious upbringing. But I also think there is more to it.

WHAT HAS GOD DONE TO HUMAN MORALITY?

Despite the imperfect nature of man, religion itself is a vastly imperfect and out-dated construct of the human mind and morality. I don’t believe the flaw in religious morality has to do with the literal teachings of good conduct, which seem mostly reasonable, but the problem is in the context that they are presented.

A large part of this context is centered around God. God, the almighty inconceivable, is very much the foundation of religious morality. Without His existence, the whole system seems to fall apart. Why? Because good conduct is supposed to get you to Heaven, and bad conduct is supposed to send you to Hell.

The problem with this view of reality is that we are only given an incentive to do good for our own well-being, and we are told to avoid bad to save ourselves from eternal damnation. In other words, religion teaches us very little about the natural good in our hearts, and instead uses bribing and fear in order to coerce us into “good.”

I have a huge problem with this.

These kinds of stories and folktales, mostly to do with God, create a moral foundation of superstition. Without a solid foundations of values and virtues grounded in reason and evidence, of course there is a stronger likelihood of individuals abandoning their value system, acting irrationally, and willing to hurt others for careless and selfish gains. This is one of the main drawback of any dogmatic system.

HOW CAN WE FREE OURSELVES FROM SUPERSTITIOUS BELIEFS?

I think the best advice for finding one’s morality is to first deny the artificial values of any code of conduct created by religion and society. Certainly one can use religious texts and the values of society as a reference point. But in the end it really comes down to our own mind and rational thought in determining our specific system of values. I can’t imagine that any other being can rightfully make these decisions for us.

Defining one’s system of values is not a simple process. In fact, it is a process that is ongoing for as long as we live and act. We never know when we will find ourselves in a situation where we have to make a tough moral decision. We can look to the word of God, or we can get advice from friends and society, but in the end it is only the individual that chooses the action and bares its consequences. Sometimes we make wrong decisions – this does not mean we will be damned to hell, only that we have gained a new experience to learn from. In this sense if we take responsibility for our actions and the effect we have on the world, then we can never fall in the hands of “the devil.” We only have our self to fail, succeed, and grow. In a way this take on morality puts us in a much greater position of power and change then the morality touted by the traditional religions of the world.