According to Chi-Yue Chiu, of Nanyang Technological University in Singapore:

“Distress following excessive self-praise is likely to occur when a person’s inadequacy is exposed, and because inaccurate self-assessments can prevent self-improvement.”

Researchers discovered this effect in students from both the U.S. and Hong Kong, suggesting that it may be cross-cultural. However, they found that students from Hong Kong tended to be more humble in their self evaluations overall, which was consistent with previous research supporting the trend of Asian cultures being more modest than Western cultures.

This finding shouldn’t be that shocking to readers of The Emotion Machine. I have long advocated that we take an honest and reasonable approach to how we view ourselves.

I like positive psychology and I think it offers many useful theories and practices for how we can benefit our lives. But this shouldn’t be confused with the “positive thinking movement.” The former is a scientific discipline, while the latter is a heavily commercialized and distorted industry with little scientific backing.

I’ve experienced the heartache of believing things like The Law of Attraction and The Secret first hand, and I’ve later warned about these dangerous trends in personal development – which often emphasize the importance of excessive self-praise and over-confidence, even when it is irrational and potentially very harmful.

When the self-help “guru” James Arthur Ray had participants go on a physically demanding “Spiritual Warrior” retreat that consisted of several days of fasting, and then spending hours locked in a sweat lodge, several people needed to be hospitalized after – and some even died. Ray believed that through excessive confidence and self-belief, they could overcome any physical limitations. His excessive confidence was wrong, and it had dire consequences for those who fell prey to it.

Of course, some level of self-praise and confidence is essential to our evolution. Because without any confidence, we can never be motivated to take the risks required to successfully adapt to our environment.

If a fish gets thrown into a new pond, but it is too fearful and avoiding of it’s surroundings, it will have greater difficulty finding food to survive. But if it has the confidence to explore its new territory and take calculated risks, it will often have a greater probability of discovering new means of survival, without being crippled by fear.

Self-praise is one of the biggest ways humans can build a more confident demeanor and be more motivated to take action, but it needs to be balanced.

Sports psychologists have demonstrated how athletes can use positive self-talk to improve their performance. But clearly overestimating our abilities can at times lead to some destructive outcomes.

Another study showed how overly optimistic people are susceptible to underestimating the risks that bad things will happen to them, such as getting cancer or getting into a bad car accident. This optimistic attitude can motivate people toward more reckless behaviors because they mis-attribute the risks of their actions.

Again, it’s about balance. Self-praise and confidence are good, but only when they are deserved and when they are grounded in reality. Trying to fool ourselves into thinking we are more than we are can only backfire in the end.

On the other end of this research, there is also evidence that pretending to fake happiness can be unhealthy in some situations:

• According to a recent study in the Academy of Management Journal, it was discovered that bus drivers were more likely to experience negative emotions on days when they pretended to be in a good mood.
• Another analysis of over 3 decades of research found that faking positive feelings at work was associated with lower employee satisfaction and increased job burnout.
• A third study published in Anxiety, Stress, and Coping found that volunteers at a call center who were told to “hide negative emotions” had greater increases in blood pressure and heart rate than those told to show their true feelings.

As it turns out, the “emotional labor” it takes to pretend to be in a good mood can actually be very taxing on our physical and mental well-being.

There are a couple of lessons that both business and employees could learn from this research.

One lesson for businesses is to give employees an opportunity to express themselves genuinely and openly. Of course, this doesn’t mean you want customer service yelling at people, but maybe giving employees a way to express their frustrations among each other could provide a valuable emotional release, without necessarily disrupting the “consumer experience.”

There should also be a drive in businesses to try to make work environments as stress-free and enjoyable as possible. Often times the happier workers are, the better their work performance and productivity. Because of this, I believe it is only a matter of time until more businesses begin implementing these principles.

One lesson for employees is to not feel the need to plaster on a smile every time they walk into the office. It is okay to feel down from time to time, and we need not pretend that our jobs are perfect (they rarely are).

This also fits with a common theme of this blog which is that we must give ourselves permission to be negative every now and then.

Another lesson for employees is to raise their standards. If a job isn’t at all satisfying to you, consider searching for something else that makes you genuinely happier. We sometimes underestimate our value and skills in the marketplace. We become complacent to one job, and we stop searching for other opportunities. We begin to accept the idea that a job is supposed to be something we hate, so we settle for something less than what we might really be capable of. Jobs can be difficult and tiresome, but that doesn’t mean they have to be the plague of our existence.

(I understand there are some limitations to the above, maybe based on your prior work experience, intelligence, and other factors. I only recommend that you keep yourself open to alternatives. You may not have a whole lot of different jobs to choose from, but there is often more than just one path.)

On that note, I want to remind you one last time that it’s completely natural to not be 100% in love with your job. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that needs to be the case. Often times, by acknowledging life’s imperfections, we can handle them better than if we try to bury ourselves in delusions and false promises.

Stay updated on new articles on psychology and self-improvement here.

The researchers also looked at some of the specifics of self-talk that can improve performance. Some of these findings included:

• For tasks requiring fine skills or improved technique, “instructional self-talk” was found to be more effective than “motivational talk.” In other words, when about to drive a golf ball onto the fairway, it would be better for the golfer to use self-talk such as “keep your knees bent” or “swing with your hips” rather than motivational speech like “you can do it!”
• On the other hand, motivational self-talk was found to be effective during tasks “requiring strength or endurance, boosting confidence and psyching-up for competition.” So those motivational speeches your football coach gives you before a big game can definitely have an effect, especially if those motivational messages stay inside your head throughout the game. In this case, “Let’s get ‘em!” can be an empowering thought.
• Some studies found self-talk is better for novel tasks rather than well-learned tasks. This is probably because during early stages of our sports development we are learning so many new things, and self-talk can help us become better learners by repeating important concepts to ourselves as we play. On the other hand, if someone is already a well-learned baseball player (where everything is already second-nature), forced self-talk may disrupt the natural flow of their game.
• Athletes often practice self-talk by preparing scripts that they read to themselves before every game. They may also incorporate visualization exercises where they mentally rehearse different aspects of their game. Sports psychologist believe this helps condition athletes to be more effective on the field.

Sports psychologist Antonis Hatzigeorgiadis who conducted the meta-analysis with his colleagues at the Department of Physical Education and Sport Sciences at the University of Thessaly says, “The mind guides action. If we succeed in regulating our thoughts, then this will help our behavior.”

Now I’m under the impression that anyone who has the capacity to write should take advantage of this gift. Both the mental and physical benefits from writing about your life, such as in a diary or a blog, are paramount to optimizing health and well-being.

Different forms of writing have shown to improve learning, ease anxiety, cope with trauma, improve physical health, as well as improve social and behavioral outcomes.

Writing and learning

On January 21st a research article was published in Science testing different study methods when students prepared for an exam. The students were told to read a short passage and then they were separated into three different groups. The first group studied by reading and re-reading the article, the second group studied by creating a concept map, and the third group studied by spending 10 minutes writing a free-form essay about the passage. A week later the students were given a short-answer test on what they remembered, researchers found that those who wrote essays performed the best.

Implications: Writing is an effective way to engage our minds in the material we are trying to learn. When students put down their textbooks and try recalling information in their own words, it helps solidify their understanding with greater context, rather than just regurgitating facts. Having students become more active and participatory with the curriculum can lead to a better and more practical understanding of what they aim to learn, and writing is one of the most trusted ways of doing this.

Writing and anxiety

Another study published in the January 14th issue of Science found that when students wrote about their anxieties before an exam they were shown to improve their grades. Researchers tested this by giving two math exams. On the first test students were told to just do their best. However, before the second test the researchers created a situation that produced stress, by saying students who performed well would receive money and that other students were depending on their performance as part of a team effort.

At this point in the experiment the participants were separated into two groups: Group 1 was given 10 minutes to write expressively about the upcoming exam and Group 2 was told to sit quietly. Researchers found that “control participants ‘choked under pressure,’ showing a 12 percent accuracy drop from pre-test to post-test, whereas students who expressed their thoughts before the high-pressure test showed a significant 5 percent math accuracy improvement.”

Implications: Researchers believe that increased anxiety and stress can take a toll on our working memory and inhibit us from using mental resources at their full capacity. By writing about our anxieties, we can alleviate these worries and free up our working memory so that we can focus more on a certain task (and therefore perform better). Beilock, who led the research in this study, said: “In fact, we think this type of writing will help people perform their best in variety of pressure-filled situations — whether it is a big presentation to a client, a speech to an audience or even a job interview.”

Writing and trauma

Over the past 20 years there has been a growing body of research demonstrating the positive effects of writing when coping with trauma. In a 1986 study, researchers had college students write for 15 minutes on 4 consecutive days about “the most traumatic or upsetting experience” of their entire lives. They found that participants who wrote about their thoughts and feelings about these events showed benefits in both objectively assessed and self-reported health 4 months later (Pennebaker & Beall, 1986).

This writing exercise has since been duplicated in several other studies (Pennebaker, 1994, 1997a, 1997b; Smyth & Pennebaker, 1999). The exercise is usually presented to the participants as such:

Typical writing instructions

“For the next 4 days, I would like you to write your very deepest thoughts and feelings about the most traumatic experience of your entire life or an extremely important emotional issue that has affected you and your life. In your writing, I’d like you to really let go and explore your deepest emotions and thoughts. You might tie your topic to your relationships with others, including parents, lovers, friends or relatives; to your past, your present or your future; or to who you have been, who you would like to be or who you are now. You may write about the same general issues or experiences on all days of writing or about different topics each day. All of your writing will be completely confidential.

Don’t worry about spelling, grammar or sentence structure. The only rule is that once you begin writing, you continue until the time is up.”

As it turns out, this kind of rumination can have significant emotional benefits. According to different studies, expressive writing can show long-term effects in:

• Improved mood/affect. (Pennebaker et al, 1988; Páez et al, 1999)
• Psychological well-being (Park & Blumberg, 2002)
• Reduced depressive symptoms (Lepore, 1997)
• Fewer post-traumatic intrusion and avoidance symptoms (Klein & Boals, 2001)
• A decrease in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptomatology (Schoutrop et al, 1997, 2002; Sloan & Marx, 2004a)

As a warning however, I should mention that not all studies showed benefits. Expressive writing has sometimes been shown to be detrimental for adult survivors of childhood abuse (Batten et al, 2002) and for a small sample of eight Vietnam veterans with PTSD (Gidron et al, 1996).

“Our review of the literature shows that psychological health benefits tend to be more often found when participants’ traumas and/or symptoms are clinically more severe, although results are inconsistent. One explanation for this inconsistency may be that many of the studies with null findings instructed participants to write about the specific traumatic event they were selected for, rather than using the standard instructions (see “Typical Writing Instructions” above).”

Implications: Researchers theorize that this kind of expressive writing can be beneficial for a couple of reasons. First, writing about traumatic events can help confront previously inhibited emotions, which can be a burden on our bodies and minds when we try to suppress or ignore these feelings. Secondly, expressive writing can lead to a more coherent narrative about past events, which can help to “reorganize and structure traumatic memories, resulting in a more adaptive internal schema.”

Writing and physical health

Expressive writing has also shown to have some robust effects in physical health. Using a similar writing exercise as the one described above (“Typical Writing Instructions”), researchers have found some health benefits regarding:

• Fewer stress-related visits to the doctor
• Improved immune system functioning
• Reduced blood pressure
• Improved lung function
• Improved liver function
• Fewer days in hospital

Specifically, when compared to controls, expressive writing has shown to have some medical benefits for lung-functioning in those who have asthma, disease severity in rheumatoid arthritis, pain and physical health in cancer, immune response in HIV infection, hospitalizations for cystic fibrosis, pain intensity in women with chronic pelvic pain, sleep-onset latency in poor sleepers, and post-operative recovery.

Implications: Obviously, if you have a serious medical condition, you should never stop seeing a doctor or getting professional treatment. However, it’s nice to know that writing can possibly play a positive role in increasing our physical health. Try asking your doctor to see if he or she knows how expressive writing can help your condition. And, for those without serious medical conditions, writing is still a great tool for alleviating stresses in the body and improving your immune system as a whole.

Writing and social and behavioral outcomes

Similar to the first two sections, writing has shown to help increase academic performance, sports performance, job performance, as well as other behavioral and social interactions.

Imagine taking what we learned from the “writing and anxiety” study and then applying that to social anxiety, such as approaching a gorgeous girl (or boy), or the anxiety felt before we deliver a public speech. Expressive writing can help us alleviate some of our worries, free up our working memory, and allow us to perform better in a variety of different social situations. Through writing, we let our thoughts and feelings express themselves, and thus we can move on more easily by no longer getting so wrapped up in them.

In sports, writing can be a similar modifier when examining an athlete’s negative self-talk or performance anxiety. Adding a writing component to a player’s warm might therefore help “get their head in the game,” and sports psychologists are often trained to help athletes overcome these mental obstacles so that they can re-focus their efforts back on the actions they need to perform well and win games.

Many sports psychologists also use a performance diary to help a player keep track of their progress and goals. The same can be said for other forms of goal-making, writing a diary can help us keep our mind on track, organize our thoughts, and create an elaborate mental schema about what it takes to achieve our goals.

Exercise: Write 15 minutes a day for a week.

If you don’t already write on a frequent basis then try spending 15 minutes a day writing for one whole week.

Write about any anxieties, worries, and concerns you might be experiencing. Write about any issues you are going through and how they might be overcome.

Try writing the full 15 minutes without taking a break, and then revisit some of your writings at the very end of the week. Spend the last day writing a summary of your writing experience and whether or not you experienced any benefits. If you find this to be a beneficial exercise – keep doing it!

To some, a routine is getting up every morning, brushing your teeth, taking a shower, getting dressed, and going to work. It is not a meaningful part of our day, but it needs to get done so we do it. It’s a chore.

Rituals, on the other hand, are viewed as more meaningful practices. Often, there is symbolism involved, and a real sense of purpose. A big part of it is your subjective experience of the activity. I define the key differences as follows: