I think we all try to make little improvements in our life here and there. Some of us have bigger goals and aspirations than others. The trouble however is trying to stay committed to these changes.

The point of this post is elegant and simple: what does it take to keep committed? Even after all the advice I like to give on following our dreams I still get distracted and fall off the path from time to time. This list will serve as a little, and hopefully inspirational, reminder on the ways we can make better commitment whatever they may be.

1. Love the journey not just the destination. Why do anything if you can’t enjoy the process of doing in-and-of-itself? Do what you love and love what you do.

2. Take pride in the small steps. Every step along the path should be seen as an accomplishment. Little accomplishments add up to bigger ones; and every snowman starts with but a single snowflake.

3. Realize persistence is key. Don’t be fooled by marketing schemes that offer a magic pill to fix all your problems. Nothing of value comes without a bit of hard work and dedication, whether it is making money or losing weight.

4. Have a sustainable routine. Persistence comes through dedicated consistency. If you can’t handle your workload then you need to adjust it until it is something you can see yourself doing everyday.

5. Commitment builds character. You aren’t just working on whatever you are committed too, you are also working on yourself. Therefore, every action is also an action of self-improvement.

6. Achieving your goals is gratifying. The feeling of accomplishment alone often makes it worth the effort.

7. Believe that you were made for this. We don’t commit ourselves to sudden whims, but the things that we believe have been boiling up inside of us for years, perhaps even since we were child.

8. Find encouraging friends. As I recently read in Daniel Goleman’s book “Social Intelligence,” good feelings are contagious, when we surround ourselves with positive people they usually have a positive effect.

9. Don’t forget that quitting can feel awful. Just as accomplishment can feel good, quitting feels equally painful. Don’t ever quit on the things that you truly value in life, you are only selling yourself short.

10. Notice the little improvements along the way. Be mindful that, no matter how frustrated or angry you may be in a given moment, things are always getting gradually better.

11. Create an affirmation. Write down an encouraging phrase to repeat to yourself every morning and night before bed. This little mantra or autosuggestion can help motivate and inspire you to keep pushing yourself forward.

12. Do something for the greater good. When we align our interests to something greater than our own self, we are that much more empowered to stay committed to our goals.

13. Stay enthusiastic and curious. Be weary when you begin to lose interest in the things you are committed to. It may mean you have forgotten what is really important about what you are doing.

14. Use your frustration as creative fuel. Why waste your energy on negative thoughts and emotions when you can transform and re-direct towards something more beneficial and uplifting?

15. Don’t be afraid to adjust. We aren’t psychics, we don’t know what the future may bring. That is why it is important that we adapt in the face of new information and new experiences.

16. Give yourself little rewards along the way. Maybe once you finish half your paper you can treat yourself to a quick Starbucks outing with your friends. Or, once you have reach $10,000 a month on your new business you can treat your family to a small vacation.

17. Allow times of rest and leisure. Knowing how to spend some time relaxing is key to replenishing yourself and staying energized throughout the day.

18. Keep a journal of your progress. We learn a lot more from our experiences when we allocate time towards reflection.

19. You only live once. Even if you believe in reincarnation you probably won’t be remembering your past life anytime soon – might as well live it to the fullest now!

20. Meditate and re-focus your intentions. With all this busy-ness and chaos that often runs our everday lives, it is important that we don’t forget what we originally intend to accomplish through our actions.


21. Put an encouraging quote up on your wall. This is just another effective way to integrate greatness into every aspect of your life no matter where you may be.

22. Find empowering role models. Sometimes the most inspiring thing we can do is pay attention to the actions of others, whether they be family, friends, musicians, or movie characters.

23. Prioritize your to-do list. Having a well-thought out to-do list can make all the difference between getting your stuff done by 4pm and getting your stuff done by 6pm. Practice planning out your day to maximize efficiency.

24. Ask for help in times of need. Although we like to take pride in our independence, the fact of the matter is most of us require the cooperative hands of others to help us achieve our goals. We are interdependent species, and it is nothing to be ashamed of.

25. Be happy for no reason. Be happy for the sake of happiness itself. It’ll make everything you do that much more meaningful.

26. Stay educated about your craft. Education is key. Don’t let your skills dull because you are too busy or lazy. Your craft is your livelihood – be the very best at it that you can be, and this includes constantly improving upon your abilities.

27. Be realistic and don’t overestimate your abilities too much. Basically, don’t try running before you can walk. There is often a learning curve we must follow before jumping right into the big leagues.

28. Learn from your mistakes early. Don’t ignore your flaws. Instead, attend to them as soon as they come into view. The quicker you address the issues in your character or business plan, the sooner you can get towards fixing them.

29. Don’t obsess over every potential obstacle. It is not worth worrying about every single possible obstacle, you will only be wasting your energy coming up with alternative plans for each one. Instead, just focus on the main ones, the ones that are more likely to arise, and that way you can come up with a Plan B and a Plan C…but all the way to Plan Z would certainly be overkill.

30. Read inspiring lists like this. Hey, why not? Isn’t this getting you in the mood to further commit to your aspirations?

31. Challenge someone. Some of us are motivated most when we are competing against another person. If this sounds like you then why not challenge someone? Maybe the first person to hook up with a girl wins twenty dollars, or the person with the highest grades at the end of the semester gets treated to a night of drinking.

32. Be patient for that Eureka moment. During a book signing, one of my favorite authors Jonathan Safran Foer one time said something to the effect of, “99% of the time I am not sure what I am writing about or how it all fits together, but then there is that 1% of the time where it all meshes together beautifully. And those times make that 99% all worth it.” Sometimes we aren’t sure how things are going to end, but if we remain persistent we are bound to experience our “eureka” moments where everything begins to make sense.

33. Have fun with it. Things that give us pleasure are easy to commit to. You don’t often see people not able to finish their favorite book or videogame. Make your days too fun to want to quit.

34. Be grateful for this opportunity. Most of us are very fortunate to live during the times that we do. We have more freedom, prosperity, and opportunity now than ever, and that is something to be incredibly thankful for.

35. Every now and then push yourself to an extreme for the sake of learning. Are you a musician or a painter? Have you ever tried just having a 6-hour jam session or a whole day painting? Just as an experiment, think of different ways you can take your commitment to the extreme and see what you learn from the experience. This is a great method for bringing your attributes to a new level.

36. Watch an inspiring movie. Feeling a little down or dreary? Sometimes there is nothing like putting on an uplifting movie to get your head back in the game, loving life, and driven to succeed.

37. Know that it will be worth it in the long-run. At times you may feel lost in the dark and not sure where this all is heading, but know that there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

38. Have a vision for the end, even if it is far away. As a frame of reference, having a vision of what your future looks like is important. As long as you don’t get too obsessed with everything going exactly as planned, having something to strive can be an empowering tool. Maybe you are an actor, in which case you can envision yourself giving an acceptance speech at the Academy Awards. It is just a way to get your mind having fun and thinking ahead, but don’t take it so seriously where you just let yourself down.

39. Recognize yourself as the hero of your own destiny. Not everything is in your control, but you are still responsible for your actions – so be a hero about it. Be triumphant, surpass people’s expectations, and say “fuck it” to mediocrity.

40. Ask questions to those who have been on a similar path. You have potential resources all around you and you never know who will give you the next idea. Never be afraid to tactfully probe people for their perspective, especially those who already have experience with what it is you are trying to accomplish.

41. Always be prepared to do more work than you originally expected. When we first come up with a rough blueprint for our goals, we often underestimate the amount of work it will take. Obstacles will pop up that we couldn’t have expected, and those will require extra effort to overcome. Don’t be alarmed when these things arise.

42. Nothing valuable comes easy. This is just about sheer will and dedication. If we want to rise above others, we need to go that extra mile, plain and simple.

43. Dedicate time each day. Frequency creates consistency. Doing work each and everyday, even if it is just a little bit, will separate you from the crowd. Not to mention getting some of your daily grind on over the weekends enables you to do less on weekdays. This is one thing to consider when creating a pace you are comfortable with.

44. Build a comfortable workplace. Don’t surround yourself in a prison. Your environment is important – make it interesting, inspiring, and fun to be around. Aim to impress people who visit you.

45. Do a bit of physical exercise to increase your energy. Once I started working out I noticed I had more energy throughout the day to get more done; I became more productive. Getting exercise is also a great way to relieve any stresses and anxieties.

46. Listen to motivational music as you work. Give your life its own soundtrack. This is your movie and you are the starring role.

47. Ignore the little things that don’t matter. Don’t waste your attention and energy on things that you can’t change. If it is out of your control, it isn’t worth worrying about.

48. Reflect on past achievements for inspiration. Use your memories as source of encouragement. Recall times where you did something really great, and use that as proof that you can do even more wonderful things.

49. Take it moment-by-moment. Slow and steady wins the race. We only have the present to act upon our decisions. The past and future always come secondary, focus mostly on the things you can do right now.

50. Plan a celebration for when you finish. Because you deserved it!

Have you ever seen a professional baseball player before a big world series game? There is an intensity in the air; the crowd is roaring, fans are begging for autographs, reporters are bombarding with questions, yet the player is calm and focused. When the pitcher first steps onto the mound, he shows no signs of being nervous – he is in the zone – there is just pure, collected attention on the task at hand and what needs to be done. This marks the character of a truly disciplined and skilled individual.

Imagine a situation where this state would be beneficial to you. A state where you are completely absorbed in what you are doing, and there is no outside concern to you. Maybe this would help you during a job interview, a hard day at work, or a public speech? What about before a first date, a night of socializing, or an afternoon jamming on your guitar?

Positive psychologists have developed a concept to describe this state of awareness, called flow, “a mental state of operation in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing by a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity.” I like to describe this state as, where consciousness and action collide.

When someone is in flow, they don’t have the mental resources to feel anxious or worried or to think “What if I mess this up?” Not at all – they are too busy focusing all their energy in what they are doing to have such trivial concerns. There is no physical capacity to even think twice about an action. It is almost as if you are in a complete state of spontaneity but it is a disciplined spontaneity.

How To Build And Use Flow

Trying to incorporate flow into our life can be tough, but the rewards it brings make our efforts to build flow worth it. When we in this state we are more productive and skillful, because we are more aware of what we are doing. By being more aware we can more effectively monitor our actions, and thereby change and improve upon them to better serve our interests.

1. Make beneficial actions second nature

If you know something works in your favor then you should continue to take advantage of it. If you see the benefits in going to the gym, practicing guitar, or writing in your journal – then make those things become a part of you. Treat them as though they were second nature, like a reflex – something that you don’t even have to think about because it is so common to you, like chewing food or walking down the street. By doing something over and over again you build it up into your neurology, you sometimes end up doing it before you even realize it.

2. Learn to love the things you do

For any habit that you want to build you must learn how to love doing it. This is nothing more than associating good feelings to the action. Is it any wonder we get addicted to things like drugs and sex when they give us so much pleasure? Learn to elicit that same pleasure from doing other things. Just imagine how good it feels when you are being productive and organized, not missing a step in your busy work schedule. When you love doing something you don’t have to constantly remind yourself, it may even become something you look forward to. Who says you can’t also create these good feelings towards simple things like eating healthy, flossing your teeth, or doing your homework on time?

3. Find the rhythm

All states of flow have a certain rhythm to them. There is a moment-by-moment dance you can become sucked in. But everyone’s flow will be different, because it depends on your daily lifestyle. Some parts of your day might be more high energy, while others are more chilled out, and these may alternate and wave back and forth throughout the day. Pay attention to this as you go through the next few days. Find your particular rhythm, and learn how to dance with it by allocating your energy efficiently from task to task. This will help tremendously with your perseverance.

4. Don’t ignore the bumps in the road

Rarely if ever are our days perfect. But one common mistake is to conveniently look past our missteps instead of learning from them. When there is pain or hurt in an area of your life we typically have an avoidance response, but what we should be doing is raising consciousness during times of difficulty, not lowering it. By being more mindful of our mistakes we can learn and improve them, not ignore them and keep letting them happen. This is a crucial step if we want to keep integrating positive flow into our lifestyle, because there are certainly cases like in drug addiction where people get caught in negative states of flow, despite the pain it causes.

5. Always be ready for change

Flow doesn’t necessarily mean we are always doing the same things over and over again. It just means that when we are doing something – we are one with it – and therefore completely focused in on the task in front of us. It may happen sometimes when an unexpected event occurs, but this doesn’t mean it has to knock us off the rhythm of our flow. We can still be one with what we are doing in situations that are unfamiliar to us. This doesn’t necessarily mean we will do the best job in the world, but we will at least do the best job that we are capable of in that moment. We should always be prepared for unexpected things to happen for the very reason that we will remain calm and aware when they do, and not let our fears and anxieties get the best of us.

6. Forget about the things that don’t count

Although I recommend being aware of our missteps, there are some things that aren’t worth paying attention to, such as a cruel comment from the boss or a coffee stain on our new tie. Sometimes little stuff like this can ruin our day, but it would be silly to let something so insignificant screw up a whole day’s flow. It is better that we practice forgetting about these things we can’t change. Instead of wasting energy being upset or frustrated, it would be better to just transform that energy into something more productive and positive. We will feel better because of it anyway.

Encouraging words

Lots of personal development sites go over the power of our thoughts, the law of attraction, and how our desires can bring great things to our life, yet they often neglect the power of doing and taking action. Flow is a concept that elegantly combines mind and body. It teaches us how to focus, how to be intent, and how to use these mental faculties to improve our actions. Flow helps turn life into an ongoing meditation, a state of continuous bliss and engagement. Begin practicing flow in your life today; with the right effort and commitment, the benefits can be endless.

We all have certain aspirations in life. Some of us tell our friends and family about them, some of us write them down, while others just feel comfortable enough keeping these dreams tucked inside their heads. Whatever we do – they are there. However, the more we address them, and the more we think and contemplate about how to achieve them, the greater chance we have to successfully follow through on these plans.

Making a list

It has been exactly one month now since I wrote about goal-setting in my article, “Create A Progressive Timeline To Better Envision Your Goals.” In this post I emphasized the importance of writing down our goals, making ourselves more conscious of these aspirations, and getting ourselves in the mindset to achieve them.

I also promised my readers that I would write a follow-up article touching on ways you can improve your timeline to make it more effective in helping you meet these goals. Even if you haven’t read my initial article, you probably already understand the gist of what it means to create a goal timeline; therefore, you shouldn’t have much of a problem following the content of this post.

I personally like to write a list of goals at the beginning of every new year and then I will update it every few months. It serves as a great reminder of the “bigger picture,” and what I value most out of life. It is also a great way to stay focused. Once you have something like this to refer back to, you will find this post even more useful in improving your vision for the future.

Re-visiting

Whether you have written them down or not, you probably have a decent recollection of the types of things you have wished to accomplish throughout your lifetime. Depending on what stage of life you are in some goals may be fast-approaching, while others are more in the distance.

When you re-visit your goals there are several things you might notice:

1. Some of your goals may have already been accomplished.

One of the best feelings in the world is to finally accomplish one of your long-term goals. You probably have some experience with this, depending on how good of a planner you are. When I refer back to the list I made last month (and especially to the goals that I listed to complete “Within the month,”) I can already begin to sense some form of accomplishment. I had a hard time imagining that I would one day graduate from college, but that day has finally come, and thus starts a new chapter of my life. If I can follow through on one long-term goal then this gives me the drive to pursue others.

2. You may have changed your mind on certain goals.

You may glance through the list and notice you are not as enthusiastic about some of these plans as you were when you first made them. As long as you have genuinely lost interest, and you are not just fishing for reasons to quit, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with changing some of your aspirations. As I mentioned in the other article, nothing you write down has to be set in stone, we change over time.

3. You may want to add new goals to your list.

Just like the point made above, we are bound to develop new interests overtime. If we want to continue growing then we should act on these interests and see what difference we can make. Maybe you have noticed yourself becoming more and more interested in learning how to cook extravagant recipes? Maybe you have always wanted to have your own garden? Maybe you have always wanted to write a short story? Add these to your list. Don’t be too disparaged about making too many goals. You can always pursue them one at a time and you have plenty of time left here on Earth…don’t plan on checking out until you are lying on your deathbed.

4. Some goals are becoming less and less likely to achieve.

Perhaps there are some goals you are really interested but you simply don’t have the resources or power to do them anymore. Maybe you’re getting too old to continue those dreams of becoming a baseball player for the New York Yankees, or you don’t have the reputation to become a local politician. If you can acknowledge which goals are becoming more and more unrealistic then you can begin to filter them from the list. Yeah, it sucks and it can temporarily hurt your drive, but it is better than wasting resources on things that you stand little chance of accomplishing. Better to know your limitations then to act irrationally and set yourself up for more hurt later on.

5. Some goals you are on your way towards completing.

Hopefully you are still pursuing the goals that you find worth working towards. If you have the will and persistence, then there is nothing stopping you from getting what needs to get done in order to make that next leap in your life. All that is required is that you keep up with your plans and continue to add in the details as you move closer and closer to the finish line. Even when your main goal stays the same, the path towards achieving it will continue to transform as you follow it. You must set out to constantly update your “mental map” in the face of new information and new experiences. This describes an element of persistence that is often overlooked.

How often should I re-evaluate my goals?

You want to be consistent but not excessive. At least once every 1 or 2 months should be a healthy refresher. Doing things like this can really be a great exercise, because it allows you to step back and keep your mind concentrated on the things you really wish to make out of life, instead of letting yourself get lost in the hectic tides of a busy work schedule. When I reflect back on my goals, I like to think of it as a kind of meditation. It is a way to further prepare myself for the things I am going to set out and do.

Good planning means adding details

Like Abraham Lincoln says in the quote above, “A goal properly set is halfway reached.” But what does it mean to properly set a goal? Although making lists like the ones we just discussed can be useful, good planning requires that we add details to our goals. So, you want to be a doctor? That’s great! But what steps do you have to take to get there? For starters, you will probably need to maintain a high GPA all throughout college if you want to get into medical school. But that is just the surface, as you plan further you will need to continuously fill in more and more details.

Where are the best places to get the details?

Depending on your goals there are a variety of ways to seek guidance. The internet has proven to be one of the most valuable resources within our recent history. If you are unsure about anything, you can go to forums to ask questions, search something on Google, find a blog of someone who is a professional, find a video of someone doing it on Youtube, or read about the subject on Wikipedia.

You can also talk to friends, family, coworkers, or fellow students who may have experience with what you want to accomplish. Maybe your uncle’s best friend used to own his own music studio, and you want to learn more about recording so you can release your own album. Or maybe your goal is to get your grades up, but you are having difficulty scoring well on your calculus tests so you find a friend who can tutor you. Ask around, a lot of answers may be right in front of you.

Another thing I like to do when learning more is to go to my local library. As long as you live in the area you should be able to get a library card and take out books, CDs, and even DVDs for free. This is a great way to find informational gems that you would otherwise not get on the internet or through friends. In many ways, the library is what sets you apart from the pack. I am always in the middle of a book in order to keep my mind sharp.

There are all ways you can become more familiar with your goals and how to get there. I encourage you to take an active process in educating yourself, as it is the foundation of what it means to become a good and successful planner.

Visualization and “seeing all the way through”

Sometimes people make a mistake and say, “I just didn’t see it all the way through.”

Neurolinguistic Programming, a set of interpersonal and intrapersonal communication strategies developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder, takes this phrase literally.

NLP assumes that when individuals make decisions regarding the future that they have a particular vision or mental map in their heads about how these events will transpire. Some of these maps are more effective than others. It is our job as free thinking and self-motivating individuals to reflect back on these maps and update them in order to best serve our goals and values.

Creating a virtual reality, or what I like to thing of as a “mental playground,” allows us to utilize resources in our minds to better prepare ourselves for the future. NLP is hardly the first school to teach the benefits of visualization. In fact, this sort of practice can probably be traced all the way back to the meditations done by Buddhist monks when they visualize symbols of metta (loving-kindess) in order to help deal with interpersonal conflicts.

On top of this, visualizations is finally getting some recognition by science as a legitimate technique to change our attitude and behavior. It has been used in Sports Psychology for decades now, and as reported by one psychiatrist and brain researcher at the Huffington Post,

“Although visualization was regarded as “new age hype” for many years, research has shown that there is a strong scientific basis for how and why visualization works. It is now a well-known fact that we stimulate the same brain regions when we visualize an action and when we actually perform that same action. For example, when you visualize lifting your right hand, it stimulates the same part of the brain that is activated when you actually lift your right hand. This shared area of brain activation when we imagine an action and perform it has been demonstrated extensively in the scientific literature. A striking example of how visualization increases brain activation is seen in stroke.

When a person has a stroke due to a blood clot in a brain artery, blood cannot reach the tissue that the artery once fed with oxygen and nutrients, and that tissue dies. This tissue death then spreads to the surrounding area that does not receive the blood any more. However, if a person with this stroke imagines moving the affected arm or leg, brain blood flow to the affected area increases and the surrounding brain tissue is saved. Imagining moving a limb, even after it has been paralyzed after a stroke, increases brain blood flow enough to diminish the amount of tissue death. This is a very clear indicator of the power of visualization. “

I think it is safe to say that visualization can be great method for improving learning and goal-setting. It allows us to consciously prepare an idea, even though we haven’t practiced it in the real world.

By using our mind’s eye we can prepare ourselves for possible events in the future. It is also sometimes used in NLP as an “ecology check.” This means we can imagine ourselves doing certain acts and check to see if they are congruent with our original intentions. One strategy for getting into medical school might be to “cheat off others on tests,” but a proper visualization would entail the possibility of getting caught, in which the risks severely outweigh the benefits.

Visualization is most effective when we take into account these different ranges of possibilities, and how different decisions can lead to different sets of outcomes. This is a big part of what it means to “see things all the way through.”

However, with all this being said, visualizing yourself achieving your goals does have its limitations. To start, there is always a level of uncertainty about the future. There are things that could happen that we might never predict or imagine; for this reason, all of our mental maps are imperfect. We can only plan for the future in the best way we can given the information we have.

Another limitation of visualizing is that it doesn’t get you anywhere in-and-of-itself. Unlike some claims made by books like “The Secret,” the act of visualizing is only one step towards achieving your goals. Sitting in your room imagining things all day won’t ever get you what you want. Visualization is a form of planning, not a form of doing – please don’t get the two confused.

Wrapping it up

I think I have left you here with more than enough information to get you started on improving your goals. All of these techniques here I have applied to my own life with success. Of course, none of these are magic pills – they take work – but if you do put in the time and effort they can sometimes seem magical. Good luck with achieving your goals, keep your mind focused, and I will be sure to come back to this topic again to expand more on these methods.

Now that the holidays have come and pass, you are probably feeling more stressed out than ever. Not only are you tired from all the shopping, buying, gift wrapping, exchanging, returning, cooking, serving, and entertaining, but you are probably also stressed out that “vacation” is now over…and it is time again to get your ass back to work!

There are plenty of things to be concerned about. The economy continues to hurt, and this new hole in our wallets doesn’t help. On top of this, life’s daily burdens are always there to add fuel to the fire.

That is why it is important we set aside time for relaxation.

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been coaching some people who have various concerns about stress and anxiety.

Some folks are just tired from obligations with work and family, and they want to feel more at ease. Others get nervous in certain situations, like speaking in public or approaching a certain girl; they want to know how to overcome these worries.

Whatever the situation may be, my method for dealing with stress and anxiety is fairly simple but effective when practiced consistently. Here are some of the fundamentals to know so that you can begin on your own. You will find these concepts especially helpful to integrate into your new year workload. Here is to a more productive, more free, more spontaneous, and much more easy-going 2010!

Start With The Breath

When times get difficult, the breath is always there to draw attention to. I remember when I would lose my temper as a child and my parents would always tell me to “take 10 deep breaths.” At the time, I absolutely hated the advice, and it would only make me more angry. But overtime I have realized the power of turning our attention to our own breathing.

No matter how we are feeling, there is always a rhythm to the breath. It is consistent, it is always there, and that is what makes it such a reliable object of meditation.

The more consistent you are at bringing your awareness back to the breath, the more centered you will be throughout your day. This means you will have less of a dependency on certain outcomes: you will be able to let go of the things you can’t control, and dedicate more energy to the things you can control. In my article “How Stress Ruins Everything…” I mention how important this “control factor” can be in the accumulation of daily stress. And even when there are many situations where we don’t have much much control, we can always shift our focus to areas where we do have control, and by doing that we can maintain a healthy mind.

When I tell people to bring their attention to their breath, I tell them to pay attention to its subtle sensations: the feeling of cool and fresh air coming in and the feeling of warm and stale air coming out. I tell them to feel the sensations of air filling up their lungs. I then suggest they make notes of the motions of the breath, how it is steady and rhythmic like the waves of a calm sea.

The Black Cloud Of Tension

The next step I usually take is a visual exercise. I have the person imagine all their stresses, anxieties, worries, and concerns in the form of an ugly cloud. I usually have the individual choose how the cloud looks. I personally like mine to be a mixture of green and brown, like some kind of sludge from a raw sewage system. Others like to picture a thick black cloud as if it were from a burning building.

Whatever kind of cloud you may imagine, make it detailed and meaningful, and be sure it symbolizes all of your stresses and worries. Imagine the cloud coming from the exhalation of your breath and through the pores of your skin as it accumulates above you. Imagine yourself feeling lighter and more relaxed with each breath and moment that passes. Then let the cloud drift slowly away from you. Take your time with this process, feel the changes as they happen, and then allow yourself to go into a deeper state of relaxation.

Pay Attention To The Feelings

There is a difference between thinking about relaxation and actually being relaxed. We can imagine ourselves on a nice summer day, tanning at the beach, with a glass of lemonade and a good book. And like the black cloud example above, these visualizations will help. But it is just as important to pay attention to the subtle sensations that make up these experiences.

When you set aside time to be relaxed, make sure you feel your muscles stretching out and become less tense. Feel the little, nagging ache in your head dissipate. Feel light, more comfortable, rejuvenated, and fresh! Focus on these feelings. Become familiar with them, and that will help you re-create these states in the future.

When you are visualizing a relaxing scenario, associate yourself fully into the experience. Imagine what it would be like to have a black cloud of tension actually lift above you. What it would feel like? How does it change your physiology? What about if you were at a beach, or some other scenario where you find yourself comfortable and relaxed? Pay attention to the feelings.

Relaxation And Productivity

Allotting time towards feeling these states of deep relaxation can have tremendous benefits in our own productivity. Just like when we don’t get enough sleep, not enough relaxation can keep us in a drowsy and zombified state. That is why it is important to monitor and manage our energy, not just at night before bed, but throughout the day as well.

Bradley Whitwell, a Brain and Mind Research Institute senior research fellow, says that allowing employees to have mid-workday naps can help them become more alert and productive in the workplace. Other states of deep relaxation, like those found in a disciplined meditation practice, should yield similar result.

However, there are a couple of benefits deep relaxation techniques have over napping. To start, you don’t have to worry about waking up mid-REM when you consciously practice relaxation. You probably have had some experiences in the past waking up mid-REM, especially those naps where you end up feeling more tired and out-of-sync then you were beforehand.

Another benefit of consciously practicing relaxation is that you can better choose what times you spend to relax. You may only have 15-20 minutes before your next business meeting. A power nap could be risky, but spending that extra time focusing on your breathing can accomplish a just-as-desirable state without having to re-boot yourself completely. In this way, “conscious relaxation,” as I have been calling it, is of much greater convenience than your typical afternoon nap.

Type-A Personality And Health Implications

Being stressed and busy-minded is easy. Despite how little we may enjoy it, we can drain ourselves fairly “effortlessly” just by going through our daily motions. We get so easily caught in worrying about little things like, “What am I going to make for dinner?” or “Did I forget to take out the trash again last night?” that we forget to take a step back to catch our breath.

Maybe this tendency towards busy-ness is because we find it more natural to overexert ourselves then to just sit and be comfortable? There are so many societal pressures to multi-task and be productive, rather than to spend time sitting in leisure without being called a bum. This doesn’t make either more important.

I think we should find a balance. Despite how much we have been conditioned to see virtue in this busy lifestyle, especially those of us like me who live near a major industrialized city, relaxation can help both our quality and quantity of life. Sure, having a Type-A personality may get you a few extra thousand dollars a year, but the stresses could just as well take off ten or more years of your life. One 9-year study with over 9,000 men, aged 35-59, found that Type A personalities were more than twice as likely to have coronary heart disease.

Meanwhile, a report by BBC News illustrates that countries who take part in afternoon rests (or siestas) are less likely to suffer from heart disease and other similar risks.

Don’t be someone to work your entire life towards material gains but never have the time to enjoy any of it.

Relaxation Takes Practice

Without practice, sitting with the intent of relaxing can prove to be much more difficult than we first imagine. Sometimes with all of our worries and concerns it can even make us more anxious and uneasy. That is why I tell people “relaxation takes practice.”

One of the most common hurdles to relaxing is that we get too wrapped up in our thoughts. We begin thinking about how we need to get X, Y, and Z done before next week, or we can’t stop re-playing in our heads that stupid thing we said to our girlfriend earlier that morning. I won’t say that these concerns are a waste of time. There may be a time and place for them – but not during relaxation.

For now when we devote time to being relaxed, we need to let our thoughts pass without putting too much emphasis or energy into them. If you are focused enough on the process of relaxing, then you won’t have the energy to mind these thoughts and worries. They will arise, but they will pass. Just stay in-tune to your own state of rest and comfort. That is what you are doing now, while you are relaxing. So be fully aware and concentrated on that.

But this concentration will take practice. Most likely you will get distracted during the first few times you try to cultivate these states. It is okay and normal, but be aware that it is up to your own time, effort and dedication to make this practice work. It is not just about reading this post, but setting aside the time to do it.

One Last Thing

In summary, I want you to focus on relaxation as a valuable endeavor. No matter what point of your life you may be, there are probably stresses and anxieties you are dealing with. Therefore I want you to practice these tools, become familiar with them, and integrate them into your daily routine. There is a great benefit to being able to relax, replenish your energy, and re-direct it in a more alert and focused state of being.