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	<title>The Emotion Machine &#187; Relationships</title>
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	<link>http://www.theemotionmachine.com</link>
	<description>The Space Between Mind and World</description>
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<title>The Emotion Machine</title>
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		<item>
		<title>Emotions Are A Resource, Not A Crutch.</title>
		<link>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/emotions-are-a-resource-not-a-crutch</link>
		<comments>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/emotions-are-a-resource-not-a-crutch#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Aug 2010 22:44:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Handel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Consciousness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Intelligence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mental Resources]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mindfulness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Reflection]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Research]]></category>

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<p>Ever since Darwin, and perhaps long before him, it has been theorized that our emotions play a crucial role in adapting to our environment. This means that emotions are not just an inconvenient byproduct of consciousness, but a form of higher cognition &#8211; an ability for living beings to experience their world in deeper and more complex ways.</p>
<p>Humans are a species that thrive on social relations, and our emotions become a gauge on morality and justice. They help facilitate our interactions by giving us clues on how to connect with others in meaningful and productive ways. When someone makes us feel bad our emotions tell us to ignore them, while when someone makes us feel good our emotions tell us to appreciate them. </p>
<p>Emotions however come in many different qualities, degrees, and intensities. While &#8220;positive&#8221; and &#8220;negative&#8221; are the broadest sense of emotions (and also the types most commonly researched), theorists have devised hierarchies and scales that range anywhere from 36 different types of emotions [1] to 65 types [2] to 135 [3]. These differences can often depend on the culture being studied, or the intentions of the reseachers to construct an emotional framework that fits their line of research. For example, Laros and Steenkamp often do emotional research related to consumer behavior [1].</p>
<p>Perhaps more important than how researchers conceptualize different emotions is how we experience them. You can probably reflect on some past experiences right now and write down a handful of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Ekman#Emotion_classification">common emotions</a>: anger, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, surprise, etc. You might also recognize that different experiences elicit different intensities of each emotion. Eating some ice cream might give you a mild sense of happiness, while winning the lottery would give you a much stronger sense of happiness. Researchers can try to measure this based on arousal response in the brain.</p>
<p>The first key to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence">emotional intelligence</a> is being able to identify these emotions while they occur. This requires some sense of reflection or introspection into our internal state. While this seems like commonsense, many people can go about their day being grumpy without ever consciously thinking, &#8220;Boy, I&#8217;m really grumpy today.&#8221; Instead we experience and act on these mental states unconsciously, which is a sign of poor emotional intelligence. </p>
<p>Of course even after we are aware of our emotions it doesn&#8217;t mean they can&#8217;t mislead us to undesirable actions. That is why the next step to emotional intelligence is to assess the origins of our feeling. In other words, ask yourself, &#8220;Why do I feel X?&#8221; If we attribute the origins of our feelings correctly, then we have a better idea on how to modify our behavior. There is no need to meditate to achieve results (although meditation will speed up the practice): just the will to be mindful and the seconds spent doing a quick &#8220;mental check-up&#8221; whenever one notices increased emotional arousal. </p>
<p>As reflective and rational beings, we all have the resources we need to adapt to our emotions in ways that facilitate our livelihood. Some use these resources more effectively than others, but we all have the ability to improve with practice &#8211; and, it is actually quite easy to practice because 1) Most of our conscious experiences have certain emotions integrated into them, and 2) Mindfulness is a skill that can be applied to all activities. </p>
<p><u><strong> Sources</strong></u></p>
<p>[1] <a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&#038;source=web&#038;cd=1&#038;ved=0CBIQFjAA&#038;url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cerog.org%2FlalondeCB%2FCB%2F2003_lalonde_seminar%2Flaros.pdf&#038;rct=j&#038;q=laros%20and%20steenkamp%20pdf&#038;ei=Nkh0TO7wKYP6lwf75uzMCA&#038;usg=AFQjCNHfJDwRIGMCXBTthCYMagDxWPaNgA&#038;sig2=pg1_EcHoLFEEuHrExIf3VQ&#038;cad=rja">LAROS, F., &#038; STEENKAMP, J. (2005)</a>. Emotion in consumer behavior: a hierarchical approach. Journal of Business Research, 58, 1437-1445.</p>
<p>[2] McNAIR, D. M., LORR, M., &#038; DROPPLEMAN, L. F. (1971). Profile of mood states. San Diego: Educational and Industrial Testing Service.</p>
<p>[3] ZUCKERMAN, M., &#038; LUBIN, B. (1985). The multiple affect adjective check list revised. San Diego: Educational and Industrial Testing Service.</p>
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		<title>Pluses and Minuses of Writing for a Multi-Authored Blog</title>
		<link>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/pluses-and-minuses-of-writing-for-a-multi-authored-blog</link>
		<comments>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/pluses-and-minuses-of-writing-for-a-multi-authored-blog#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Aug 2010 21:30:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Handel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blogging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Brainstorm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Discussion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marketing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writing]]></category>

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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div align="right" style="float:right;padding:0px 0px 5px 5px;"><a name="fb_share" type="box_count" share_url="http://www.theemotionmachine.com/pluses-and-minuses-of-writing-for-a-multi-authored-blog"></a></div><p><center><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/dhenriquez/2341698121/sizes/s/"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3215/2341698121_b349c401b4_m.jpg" alt="null" /></a></center></p>
<p>Although I certainly haven&#8217;t forgotten about my personal blog here, lately a lot of my energy has been going into my <a href="http://www.libertarianminds.com">political blog</a>, which I currently share with 8 contributors (and hopefully 10 by the end of the summer!). Over the past couple of months I&#8217;ve noticed some advantages and disadvantages to having a multi-authored blog. I thought I would touch on some of these points today. </p>
<p><strong><font color="#990000"><font size="3">+ More content. </strong></font></font></p>
<p>Naturally, two workers can produce more than one, and three can produce more than two, and so on. This is especially true if each product being produced is particular to the efforts of one mind (aka, not in an &#8220;assembly line&#8221;-like fashion, where if one person dozes, the whole structure of production is ruined). Instead, I can spend a whole month not writing anything, but, instead, two other authors may write a couple articles each month &#8211; and the blog still appears to be &#8220;active&#8221; (a sign loyal readers are going to want to see).  </p>
<p><strong><font color="#6666FF"><font size="3">- Less quality control. </strong></font></font></p>
<p>Unless you are very stringent about what content gets published, or you are a part of a very homogenized group of writers, there are going to be areas of disagreement between you and other contributors. This can be a bit frustrating when an idea you typically don&#8217;t endorse gets published on a blog you would rather more represent you.</p>
<p><strong><font color="#990000"><font size="3">+ Diversity and dialogue. </strong></font></font></p>
<p>Looking on the bright side of the last point, varying opinions can also lead to diversity and a healthy dialogue. Diversity is, in many ways, the defining attribute of evolution, and it is no different for competing species as it is for competing viewpoints. The other blog I write for, <a href="http://www.libertarianminds.com">Libertarian Minds</a>, is filled with different kinds of thinkers (Constitutionalists, Objectivists, Anarchists, Atheists, Deists, Theists), and in my opinion these differences add new dimensions to our discussions on politics, society, culture, and morality. They make us all smarter and more well-rounded &#8211; and more tolerant.</p>
<p><strong><font color="#6666FF"><font size="3">- Sharing of benefits/revenue </strong></font></font></p>
<p>For some blogs this may just mean competing for page views, while for others this may mean distributing revenue among writers. This means the more contributors you have, the less money you will each get paid. </p>
<p><strong><font color="#990000"><font size="3">+ More heads marketing </strong></font></font></p>
<p>Despite the last point, having more writers may also mean having more traffic streams. Writers A and B may be active users on <a href="http://www.reddit.com">Reddit</a>, while Writers C and D spend more time advertising on <a href="http://www.facebook.com">Facebook</a>. Everyone will also have different groups of friends, family, and coworkers to show the site too. This means more opportunities for eyeballs on your blog. </p>
<p><strong><font color="#6666FF"><font size="3">- Greater potential for conflict </strong></font></font></p>
<p>On one side of the coin, humans are often good at cooperating and working together. On the other side, they can also get caught up in pissing contests and foul-mouthed exchanges. Fortunately at Libertarian Minds all the writers seem to get along and interact respectfully (<em>knock on wood</em>), but there is often a greater potential for conflict as you add more passionate thinkers to the equation. Some conflicts, of course, can be good, and lead to further cohesion &#8211; other conflicts, however, can cause permanent divides (especially if one person feels they are being ostracized from the rest).</p>
<p><strong><font color="#990000"><font size="3">+ Sense of community. </strong></font></font></p>
<p>As with any group project, a sense of community is beneficial. It means individuals feel they have a responsibility to others &#8211; to provide good content and make the blog into as good of a blog as possible. We always see professional athletes talk about their team as if it is a &#8220;family,&#8221; the same can be true for teams of bloggers. Relationships build and build over time.</p>
<p><strong><font size="3"><u>CONCLUSION</u> </strong></font></p>
<p>Really this was just a brief brainstorm on the pluses and minuses of writing for a multi-authored blog, and I think I did a pretty comprehensive job. I am very pleased with my experience so far, and I think the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages (which is a big reason why <a href="http://www.libertarianminds.com">Libertarian Minds</a> has so far received a good amount of traffic, considering its young age). I am really excited to see where it takes all of us in the near future.</p>
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		<title>Chimps Treat Death In Similar Ways To Humans</title>
		<link>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/chimps-treat-death-in-similar-ways-to-humans</link>
		<comments>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/chimps-treat-death-in-similar-ways-to-humans#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Apr 2010 15:18:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Handel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Science And Nature]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spirituality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Animals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Biology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buddhism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Empathy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Golden Rule]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Instinct]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Interconnectedness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Morality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nature]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Neuroscience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Science]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Suffering]]></category>

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</center></p>
<p>I found an article today at BBC News. It described how chimps exhibit similar patterns of behavior as humans when dealing with a dying loved one.</p>
<p>The article was rather short (and not too informative), but one excerpt suggests a compelling parallel:<br />
<u><br />
</u></p>
<blockquote><p>
Staff at Blair Drummond Safari and Adventure Park in Stirlingshire used video cameras to document the death of a terminally ill female named Pansy, believed to be more than 50 years old.</p>
<p>When she became lethargic in the days leading up to her death, other members of the group became quieter than usual and stayed with her at nights, grooming her more than they did normally.</p>
<p>After her death, her daughter stayed near the body for an entire night, even though she had never slept on that platform before.</p>
<p>All of the group were subdued for several days afterwards, and avoided the place where she had died, spending long hours grooming each other.
</p></blockquote>
<p><u><br />
</u><br />
Visit <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8645283.stm">here</a> to see two excerpts of some of this footage: the first video reveals a moment of death in a chimps life with surrounding family, and the bottom video shows a young chimp playing with a dead one until the mother takes it away.</p>
<p><strong><br />
<font color="#990000"><font size="5">Primal Empathy: </p>
<p>Your Suffering Is My Suffering</font></font><br />
</strong></p>
<p><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?lt1=_blank&#038;bc1=000000&#038;IS2=1&#038;bg1=1F1511&#038;fc1=FFFFFF&#038;lc1=FFFFFF&#038;t=theemomac-20&#038;o=1&#038;p=8&#038;l=as1&#038;m=amazon&#038;f=ifr&#038;md=10FE9736YVPPT7A0FBG2&#038;asins=055338449X" style="width:120px;height:240px;" align="right" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" </iframe>When a chimp notices a family member is dying they become more attuned to that member&#8217;s needs (in the same way a mother becomes attuned to the needs of her baby). Like chimps, our brains &#8220;sync up&#8221; (as Daniel Goleman puts it in his book &#8220;Social Intelligence,&#8221;) and we feel what another being is experiencing. In social neuroscience this is referred to as primal empathy or &#8220;the ability to sense the non-verbal emotional signals of others and to feel what they are feeling.&#8221; Evolutionary psychology tell us that we are biologically driven to respond to those needs; in other words: they are instinctual. </p>
<p>We all experience primal empathy in one form or another. Narcissists and sociopaths show weak empathy for others while those who are charitable and compassionate are seen as more empathetic. </p>
<p>Whenever I think about empathy I am reminded of the teachings by Buddha. He emphasized the wisdom of interconnectedness and described loving-kindness and compassion as a logical moral consequence of this insight.</p>
<p>Science is bringing us one step closer to this knowledge. Through neuroscience we are seeing the biochemical effects of brains and minds feeling connected. In evolutionary psychology we are witnessing high-order thinking mammals exhibit empathy and compassion for one another.</p>
<p><strong><br />
<font color="#990000"><font size="5">Animal Consciousness</font></font><br />
</strong></p>
<p>Who knows what it&#8217;s like to be a bat, or a whale, or even a tyrannosaurus? Each has a completely different sensory system and a completely different way to interact with its environment. If we were to zoom into the consciousness of any animal it would probably be akin to a psychedelic experience. Yet at the same time we are all united by the fact that we live, we breath, and we are all fighting to stay alive and satisfy our desires.</p>
<p>We often like to see animal consciousness as inherently distinct from human consciousness. Some claim animals aren&#8217;t even conscious at all (even to the extent that they don&#8217;t experience pleasure and pain). But this assumption seems to ignore even a basic commonsense understanding of other living things.</p>
<p>When viewing these videos of these chimps, when looking at animals at the zoo, or even when just observing our own pets, we are peering into the minds of these living creatures. <font color="#FFFF66">For humans, empathy is inter-species.</font></p>
<p><strong><br />
<font color="#990000"><font size="5">Where Is Evolution Heading?</font></font><br />
</strong></p>
<p>I don&#8217;t think anyone is truly qualified to say where nature is heading. Nature is always changing and adapting in unpredictable ways. If empathy proves to be a dominant force in our evolution, then perhaps we can conclude &#8211; to some extent &#8211; that nature is a scientific, moral, and practical argument to act good? Perhaps, nature is heading toward a direction of less suffering and a greater sanctity for life? </p>
<p>Maybe sometime in the far away future the golden rule can even beat out natural selection and &#8220;survival of the fittest.&#8221; Maybe nature does have the potential to be divine? Maybe I am also just dreaming, but one can have their suspicions&#8230;either way it won&#8217;t be in any of our lifetimes.</p>
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		</item>
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		<title>Calling All Heroes Of The World: Yes You!</title>
		<link>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/calling-all-heroes-of-the-world-yes-you</link>
		<comments>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/calling-all-heroes-of-the-world-yes-you#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 10 Apr 2010 17:49:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Handel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spirituality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Creativity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dignity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Justice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Karma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Power]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Reason]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Society]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Success]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Thinking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Visions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Writing]]></category>

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<p><font color="#990000"><br />
<font size="4"><strong>Evil Requires The Sanction Of The Victim</strong></font><br />
</font></p>
<p>The evils we believe to be in our life only exist in so far as we allow them to. What we can&#8217;t stand about our world, we owe it to ourselves to change. What we love about word, we must nurture and protect. This is my basic philosophy for achieving a noble and dignified life.</p>
<p>Lately I have been feeling distressed and helpless. It has been several months now since I have graduated college and I am still unemployed, without a clear path or direction. I am also experiencing trouble at home with family and friends, and a lack of fulfilling relationships. I miss romance, success, and happiness. I am disappointed in society and government and where I see it heading. In all aspects, my life is at a standstill. I feel trapped.</p>
<p>Yet I am strangely optimistic. I rarely lose sight of that empowering sense of heroic individualism that I believed in ever since I was a child. I never let go of those dreams. For better or worse, I am here to stay, even when I feel compelled to quit. I can&#8217;t just let these injustices be, not when I have been blessed with the abilities to reason, innovate, and change. </p>
<p><font color="#990000"><br />
<font size="4"><strong>All I Can Count On Is My Mind</strong></font><br />
</font></p>
<p>In thick and thin, all I can count on is my mind. This blog is an extension of that consciousness, a creative product under no jurisdiction but my own. I may update it once a day or only once a year, but it is always here for me to add or subtract to, like a sculptor working on his or her masterpiece. Thinking and writing are tools no one can take away from me, the only resource needed being the breath of life itself.</p>
<p>Where my mind takes me is up to me and me alone. How I choose to see and change the world is <em>my choice</em>, and it is my moral duty to not let that decision be made by anyone else. This is the only responsibility I am indebted to, nothing and no one else. </p>
<p><font color="#990000"><br />
<font size="4"><strong>High Esteem</strong></font><br />
</font></p>
<p>For most who have met me or read my writings they know I hold myself at a high esteem. It may be mistakened for arrogance, but it&#8217;s not; I have no choice but to be confident in my abilities, anything less and I risk selling myself short &#8211; an injustice to not only me but the entire world. I ask everyone to do the same.</p>
<p><font color="#990000"><br />
<font size="4"><strong>Clear Visions</strong></font><br />
</font></p>
<p>Our abilities to mold our world depend on our abilities to see what is not yet so. The clearer we see, the greater chance we have to follow through on these visions. What determines the clarity of our seeing is our consciousness of the world around us and our ability to infer and imagine. To do this we must step outside the narrow visions of the present moment, discover truth that is timeless, and through that wisdom pursue change that can last. </p>
<p><font color="#990000"><br />
<font size="4"><strong>Infinite Karma</strong></font><br />
</font></p>
<p>Through our actions and speech we change how others think, feel, and see. They respond in kind, and  thus we set forward an untraceable string of cause-and-effect. This is our karma. We may never see the fruits of the seeds we sow, but we can have confidence that if we nurture them they will grow. Thus through our own heroic actions, we inspire the heroes of tomorrow and so on; the change we create is infinite. If that isn&#8217;t a super power, then I don&#8217;t know what is. The legacy you choose to leave is up to you.</p>
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		<title>My First Free Ebook On Mental Health And Energy</title>
		<link>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/my-first-free-ebook-mental-health-and-energy</link>
		<comments>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/my-first-free-ebook-mental-health-and-energy#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Feb 2010 18:03:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Handel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Productivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Habits Of Living]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Human Alchemy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Inspiration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Living]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Psychology]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Spirituality]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.theemotionmachine.com/?p=7067</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Find out how to get my first free ebook called, "Mental Health, Energy, And Human Alchemy." ]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div align="right" style="float:right;padding:0px 0px 5px 5px;"><a name="fb_share" type="box_count" share_url="http://www.theemotionmachine.com/my-first-free-ebook-mental-health-and-energy"></a></div><p>I am going to keep this post simple. The past couple of days I have been writing intently on some ideas about mental well-being and human relationships. It is a short ebook &#8211; no more than 10 pages &#8211; but I think whoever reads it and tries to apply these ideas will find positive change in their lives. </p>
<p>In the future I may be selling ebooks like this for a very cheap price, but for now I want you guys to get a chance to enjoy some of this information for free. </p>
<p><center><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/robertamariaatti/3725682211/"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2459/3725682211_a77199a1a7_m.jpg" alt="null" /></a></center><br />
<center><font size="3">&#8220;The evolution isn&#8217;t over. We are the experience that the universe is having.&#8221;</font><br />
<font size="2">- Richard Bandler</font></center></p>
<p>The only thing I ask of you before I give you the download link is to subscribe to my newsletter. Here is the <a href="http://www.theemotionmachine.com/newsletter">subscription form</a> along with a bit of information. Once you enter your address you will get an email to confirm. Upon clicking this link you will be sent to the download page. </p>
<p>If you experience any problems then please <a href="mailto:stevenh@theemotionmachine.com">e-mail me</a>. Thanks and enjoy. </p>
<p><font size="3"><strong><br />
Information on newsletter:</strong></font></p>
<ol>
<em>The Emotion Machine Newsletter is published twice every month. It&#8217;s content is divided between a variety of things including personal growth, productivity, psychology, health, spirituality, social philosophy, and entrepreneurship. Content will be a mix between new posts and various goodies I find across the net. This is one of the best ways to keep up with my latest whereabouts and at the same time receive a diverse collection of reading material from all over the web.</em></ol>
<p><center><font color="#990000"><font size="3"><strong>Feel free to leave me comments below and tell me what you think! Thanks again!</font></font></strong></center></p>
<p><font size="3"><strong>Other news</font></strong></p>
<p>I want to thank Phylameana lila Desy at About.com for featuring my post <a href="http://www.theemotionmachine.com/how-to-think-less-and-do-more-turning-life-into-flow">How To Think Less And Do More: Turning Life Into Flow</a> as the top blog post of the week at <a href="http://healing.about.com/">Holistic Healing</a>.</p>
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		<title>Grudges And Forgiveness</title>
		<link>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/grudges-and-forgiveness</link>
		<comments>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/grudges-and-forgiveness#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 Dec 2009 21:57:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Handel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Compassion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Living]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Morals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wisdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.theemotionmachine.com/?p=4557</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By not forgiving others we are simultaneously denying ourselves forgiveness for our own mistakes. This hypocrisy can eat away at our spirit, cripple our ability to do good, and leave us feeling down and empty. Therefore it is important to address these feelings and find reconciliation.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div align="right" style="float:right;padding:0px 0px 5px 5px;"><a name="fb_share" type="box_count" share_url="http://www.theemotionmachine.com/grudges-and-forgiveness"></a></div><p>Who hasn&#8217;t at one point in their life held a grudge against another? Sometimes we can hold these grudges for long periods of time and even years leading up until our death. Of course we may believe we are only acting out of principle, but we are in actuality hurting ourselves. It may seem like we are coming from a place of dignity and power, but we are only wasting our energy on things that cannot be changed.</p>
<p>By not forgiving others we are simultaneously denying ourselves forgiveness for our own mistakes. This hypocrisy can eat away at our spirit, cripple our ability to do good, and leave us feeling down and empty. Therefore it is important to address these feelings and find reconciliation. </p>
<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/walkadog/"><center><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2470/4040601873_3fef84b32a_m.jpg" alt="null" /></center></a></p>
<p>So someone has hurt you. You cannot find the heart to forgive them. The very thought of what they did to you makes you sick to your stomach and you blame them for all the pain and suffering you have experienced because of them. In the moment, these feelings are rational and commonplace.  It is something all humans inevitably go through. But &#8211; <a href="http://www.theemotionmachine.com/this-too-shall-pass-a-lesson-in-impermanence">this too shall pass</a>.</p>
<p>Forgiveness is a skill. And like any other skill it takes concentration and practice to develop. People have the capacity to do some really wretched and thoughtless acts onto other human beings. But once this is all said and done it doesn&#8217;t mean we have to stop living our lives to the fullest. Forgiveness is the key to moving on and letting go. </p>
<p>You too may recall past acts that have hurt yourself or others. The best thing about these acts is they are no longer here. But then why do you still suffer from their consequences?</p>
<p>It is because you are still carrying all the heavy weight that these experiences first bestowed upon you. What use do these attachments serve but to drain your energy? Imagine if you had the courage to forgive the person who had done this to you. You would become as light as a feather in the summer breeze.</p>
<p>You are still here alive and breathing. Time has already healed your wounds. Your negative thoughts are your ego telling you that you must seek revenge or justice, but you can already find content in what already is. You can even feel gratitude towards those who have hurt you. Your memory of their ignorance and ill will can become a well of knowledge for you to draw upon. You are better and more conscious because of this experience. Congratulations. </p>
<p>But &#8211; as valuable as it may be &#8211; it is not enough to simply learn from this experience. You must also love the person in spite of what they have done. They may have caused you pain but that is a reflection of their own suffering. Don&#8217;t pity them, but pray for their salvation. Send them your good intentions and wish for them to find true happiness. </p>
<p>If it is possible then contact the person and make it clear that you forgive them and that you wish them all the happiness in the world. You will immediately feel lighter and more free because of this. If you don&#8217;t have any means of communicating with the person, then meditate or pray on your good intentions. They will manifest themselves through your thoughts and actions by making you more kind and forgiving of others in the future.</p>
<p>As long as you are alive you are bound to run into other experiences where others might disappoint and hurt you. Use these opportunities to practice forgiveness. Through your example, you will teach others how to do the same and make the world a better place. To me, that is a much more useful and productive way to invest your energy. </p>
<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/66164549@N00/"><center><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2121/2455160742_7f412859a6_m.jpg" alt="null" /></center></a></p>
<p><center><em>&#8220;Give away the stone,<br />
Let the ocean take and transmutate,<br />
This cold and fated anchor.</p>
<p>Give away the stone,<br />
Let the waters kiss and transmutate,<br />
These leaden grudges into gold.&#8221;</em></p>
<p>- &#8220;The Grudge&#8221; by the alternative rock band <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tool_(band)">Tool</a></center></p>
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		<title>Feel Better Through Ten Acts Of Loving-Kindness</title>
		<link>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/feel-better-through-ten-acts-of-loving-kindness</link>
		<comments>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/feel-better-through-ten-acts-of-loving-kindness#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Nov 2009 22:50:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Handel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spirituality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buddhism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Compassion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Loving-Kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[People]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.theemotionmachine.com/?p=4350</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Exhibiting loving-kindness and compassion is one of the most underrated methods of improving our mental well-being. It gets us to step out of our own ego-driven tendencies, to empathize with others, and to share both their pain and joy. Their happiness becomes our happiness. ]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div align="right" style="float:right;padding:0px 0px 5px 5px;"><a name="fb_share" type="box_count" share_url="http://www.theemotionmachine.com/feel-better-through-ten-acts-of-loving-kindness"></a></div><p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/gelinh/"><center><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2104/1564412189_6ae0f69074_m.jpg" alt="null" /></center></a></p>
<p>Exhibiting loving-kindness and compassion is one of the most underrated methods of improving our mental well-being. But how can doing something that benefits another possibly allow <em>me</em> to feel better? </p>
<p>Although it may seem counter-intuitive, studies have shown that helping others actually does increase our own happiness. It gets us to step out of our own ego-driven tendencies, to empathize with others, and to share both their pain and joy. Their happiness becomes our happiness. </p>
<p>So what are some things we can do to exercise this skill? </p>
<p><strong><br />
<font size="3">1. Call Someone And Tell Them You Love &#8216;Em</font></strong></p>
<p>Often we don&#8217;t tell others how much we love them even though we know how much they would love to hear it. Those that don&#8217;t feel loved can become depressed and suffer greatly. Because of this, it is important that we tell others we love them and we should remind them of it often. Go ahead and call your wife, husband, mom or dad and tell them that you appreciate all that they have done and that you truly love them for who they are. Even if it is someone who you haven&#8217;t used the word &#8220;love&#8221; to in a long while &#8211; work up the courage to still do it, it&#8217;ll benefit both of you.</p>
<p><strong><br />
<font size="3">2. Compliment A Stranger</font></strong></p>
<p>Being kind is not something exclusive to people we know and already love. We should also exercise this amongst strangers. Sometimes there is nothing more pleasing than making a positive change to a stranger&#8217;s day. You can do this in a variety of ways: compliment an article of clothing or jewelry of a store clerk or just stop someone you pass in the street and compliment their smile. Make sure your words are genuine. Let the person know that you just had to tell them &#8220;Blah blah blah&#8221; and then go on your merry way.</p>
<p><strong><br />
<font size="3">3. Donate To A Charity</font></strong></p>
<p>Donating to a charity is one of the most noble things one can do. It doesn&#8217;t matter if it is only a couple dollars or even a few thousand &#8211; it is the principle of the act. Sometimes the hardest thing to give up is a material good like money, but by detaching ourselves from this possessive mindset we are not only helping someone in greater need but allowing ourselves a greater freedom.</p>
<p><strong><br />
<font size="3">4. Schedule An Exciting Event </font></strong></p>
<p>This one takes a little more time and effort than the past three, but this also means it can give us a greater satisfaction. Try to put together an event that a group of your friends or family can enjoy. Maybe you could throw an upcoming surprise birthday party for someone or a weekend costume party for a good time. The key here is to schedule something that is fun and exciting. Many of us need more of this in our lives due to the burdens of work and family life. By providing an outlet for people to let loose and relax you are doing a tremendous service.</p>
<p><strong><br />
<font size="3">5. Dedicate A Song, Poem, or Painting To Someone Significant</font</strong></p>
<p>What better way to create than to do it for the sake of sharing with someone significant? Maybe it is time to dust off that old acoustic guitar or overcome those years of writer&#8217;s block. Think of someone you want to dedicate to. Pick a theme or message that you want to express and then work with it until you find something that you are proud of. Polish it up, and when you are ready show it off to the intended person. It will warm their heart.</p>
<p><strong><br />
<font size="3">6. Invest Time Playing With Children</font></strong></p>
<p>Children are a fantastic way to practice loving-kindness (and sometimes patience). If you have kids of your own then you can schedule an afternoon at the zoo or park. If you don&#8217;t have kids then see if you can volunteer at a children&#8217;s hospital or elementary school. Most volunteer places are more than happy to have an extra pair of hands on deck to help entertain the children and keep them behaved. I find it incredibly enlightening to spend time with children &#8211; they have great imaginations and they are always living in the moment to the fullest. Of course kids can sometimes become a huge handful, so there is also a sense of skill in keeping them both safe and happy. I used to volunteer at an elementary school throughout my High School years up until my second semester in college and I learned many valuable life lessons doing so.</p>
<p><strong><br />
<font size="3">7. Fulfill A Wish </font></strong></p>
<p>This suggestion is probably one of the toughest to accomplish depending on the person&#8217;s wish you are trying to fulfill. Maybe you have a friend who has always wanted to dive into a swimming pool of jello or who has always wanted to travel to Europe. These wishes might be too difficult to fulfill, but if you have the means to do it then don&#8217;t let anything stop you. Other wishes are easier. Maybe you know someone who had always wanted a toy train as a child or a certain comic book. Even though they might be older now, the thought of fulfilling this childhood wish is something that can bring great joy to the person. It also shows that you are thoughtful, you listen to others, and remember what they say.</p>
<p><strong><br />
<font size="3">8. Get A Loved One A Gift For No Reason</font></strong></p>
<p>We often only get others gifts during birthdays or holidays. But what is stopping us from giving even when there is not a special occasion. Sometimes it is gifts like this that are the most surprising and meaningful. The classic case is coming home with a rose or box of chocolates for your wife. It doesn&#8217;t really matter who or what it is &#8211; it is the thought and the freedom to give someone something <em>whenever you want</em> that creates real spontaneity and happiness.</p>
<p><strong><br />
<font size="3">9. Create A Mixtape For A New Friend</font></strong></p>
<p>This is one of my favorite things to do as I love music and I love sharing new artists with others. You may remember a time back in High School when you and your crush would exchange mixtapes and then go home and listen intently to all the songs they had chosen specifically for you. Why let this practice die as you get older? It is never too late to introduce others to new music. It creates an important bond and as long as they hold on to your mixtape the connection will always be there. </p>
<p><strong><br />
<font size="3">10. Find Someone Who Looks Down And Make Them Smile</font></strong></p>
<p>This too can be a great challenge. It sucks to see someone going throughout their day looking down and depressed. When I see someone like this I always wonder if there is anything I could do in that moment to make their day a tad bit better. You could resort to option 2 and give them a compliment. You may also have  a good joke on hand that could brighten up their day. Maybe it is a homeless man on the street in which case you can give a donation. Use your good judgment and be creative if you have to.</p>
<p><strong><br />
<font size="3">Final Words</font></strong></p>
<p>There are enough easy and simple things to do on this list to begin your practice of loving-kindness. As you get better you can progress to some of the more difficult suggestions. All of these are ways to improve conditions of your surrounding world and at the same time improve your inner happiness and content. A daily practice of loving-kindness is a great ingredient for any recipe in healthy living. Try it out for yourself!</p>
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		<title>Choosing The Right Words</title>
		<link>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/choosing-the-right-words</link>
		<comments>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/choosing-the-right-words#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Nov 2009 17:15:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Handel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Conversation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Friendship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Life Tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mindfulness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Values]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wisdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.theemotionmachine.com/?p=4234</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This list is a collection of intentions one can have when conversing with others and choosing the right words to say. Following this advice can lead to more purposeful and effective speech.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div align="right" style="float:right;padding:0px 0px 5px 5px;"><a name="fb_share" type="box_count" share_url="http://www.theemotionmachine.com/choosing-the-right-words"></a></div><p>There is karma to everything that we say. This means that our words have consequences. They can bring inspiration and joy to others but they can also bring sadness and pain.</p>
<p>For these reasons I suggest that we become more mindful of the things we say. All too often we speak with haste, not considering whether or not what we say has value, and not reflecting on the outcome of what has been said. Here are a few tips to sharpen our ability to say the right thing at the right time, without all the fluff and idle chatter. </p>
<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/bass_nroll/"><center><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2162/2174234133_31cff9fd53_m.jpg" alt="null" /></center></a></p>
<p><font size="4">Pause And Think Before You Speak</font></p>
<p>One of the most common reasons we say the wrong things is because we don&#8217;t take the time to pause and think before we speak. Our words become more powerful when we put in this extra effort. From now on take the extra seconds to replay what you say in your head before you utter the words, especially when you are having a particularly meaningful conversation with a friend or loved one.  </p>
<p><font size="4">Ask Yourself &#8220;Does What I Say Have Value?&#8221;</font></p>
<p>Are you saying something to achieve a purpose or do you just like hearing the sound of your voice?  Sometimes we are saying something only to make ourselves feel good, but if what we say has no value to the other person then why say it at all. Maybe it is because we are speaking to a confidant in order to get some negative feelings off our chest. This is understandable, but more often than not we should make our words valuable to the other person. If others don&#8217;t see any value in speaking to us then it is likely that the person won&#8217;t value talking to us again in the future. This is not necessarily a good way of building lasting relationships. Add value to your conversation &#8211; even if it is only to provide simple pleasures like humor or joy. </p>
<p><font size="4">Consider Who You Are Conversing With </font></p>
<p>Choosing the right words often depends on who it is you are talking to. You would probably use a different range of vocabulary around your college buddies then you would around your grandparents. But sometimes the differences become more subtle. Some of your friends may be interested in politics, others may hate the thought of it. It is important to choose the subject of the conversation depending on who you are speaking to. Be aware of when someone is losing interest and then change the thread of the conversation.</p>
<p><font size="4">Consider The Environment</font></p>
<p>Everything has a time and place. Be sensitive to your environment and be aware that some topics of conversation are more friendly during certain times than others. Nightclubs are rarely a good place to talk about the philosophy behind God. Your wedding is not a good time to share your favorite &#8220;getting drunk&#8221; stories. Again &#8211; some of these are obvious and other differences can be subtle. Consider the mood of the environment, the types of people around you, and the appropriateness of what you want to say. </p>
<p><font size="4">Don&#8217;t Be Afraid To Reflect Back On Your Words</font></p>
<p>The time to reflect back on your words is <em>not</em> directly after you say them but once you are alone after the fact. The reason for this is because you don&#8217;t want to get stuck in your head during a conversation. Therefore there is no point in analyzing words until you have some time to yourself. The point of this process of reflecting is to catch something that you may have been previously unaware of during the conversation. In retrospect you may find that you didn&#8217;t choose the best words to describe your feelings or thoughts. Don&#8217;t beat yourself up over it &#8211; just learn to be more mindful of these things in the future &#8211; and try to apply what you learned into future conversations.</p>
<p><font size="4">Pay Attention To How Others Speak</font></p>
<p>This is an effective method for two reasons. First, by paying close attention to the words others use you will have a better idea on the way they think and which particular words are most meaningful to them. This is a great way to get into the mind of another person. You can then use these words in your own pattern of speech and create a stronger connection. The second way this tip becomes useful is when you are listening to a conversation between two other individuals in a group setting or on a TV interview. You may find that someone has a great way of explaining a certain situation or feeling. Maybe they told a really great joke you would like to borrow or they use a particular word you find really effective. You can use your listening skills and later apply what you learned into your own daily speech.</p>
<p><font size="4">Conclusion</font></p>
<p>I hope you found these tips useful. One of the principle teachings in Buddha&#8217;s Eightfold Path is <em>Right Speech</em> and I have used the Buddha&#8217;s lessons in mindfulness and karma to improve my own intentions when I speak.  The list above is really nothing but a collection of intentions one can have when conversing with others. Following this advice will lead to more purposeful and effective speech. </p>
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		<title>Six Aspects Of A Well-Balanced Person (Part 2)</title>
		<link>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/six-aspects-of-a-well-balanced-person-part-2</link>
		<comments>http://www.theemotionmachine.com/six-aspects-of-a-well-balanced-person-part-2#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 Nov 2009 23:45:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Steven Handel</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Productivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Balance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Creativity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Finance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Living]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spirituality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Success]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wisdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.theemotionmachine.com/?p=3659</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By focusing on these different dimensions of life we can determine which areas need work and which areas we already have a good handle on.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div align="right" style="float:right;padding:0px 0px 5px 5px;"><a name="fb_share" type="box_count" share_url="http://www.theemotionmachine.com/six-aspects-of-a-well-balanced-person-part-2"></a></div><p><em>I want to take the time to write about 6 aspects of life that I feel put together a complete picture of a well-balanced person. By focusing on these different dimensions of life we can determine which areas need work and which areas we already have a good handle on. These six aspects include physical, mental, emotional, social, financial and spiritual. If any one of these gets out of whack it can send ripples through our life. That is why it is important to exercise balance and stay conscious when we begin to drift too far one way or another.</p>
<p>To read part one of this two part series please <strong><a href="http://www.theemotionmachine.com/personal-development/six-aspects-of-a-well-balanced-person-part-1">click here</a></strong>.</em></p>
<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/_sml/"><center><img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/32/97519096_6cf59f243a_m.jpg" alt="null" /></center></a></p>
<p><font size="3"><strong>4. SOCIAL</strong></font></p>
<p>Our happiness expresses a need to connect to others. Even our personal identity can be dependent on how others see us within the realm of our social world. It is therefore important that we spend time with friends, family, other loved ones, and even strangers. I don&#8217;t believe it is ever appropriate for us to stop meeting new people or creating new relationships, whether it is for business, friendship, or intimacy. </p>
<p>I notice that many people on the so-called &#8220;spiritual&#8221; or &#8220;personal growth&#8221; path, which includes many readers of this blog, have a tendency to neglect their social relationships. It isn&#8217;t something they do intentionally. It is just that they have been putting too much focus on developing themselves that they forget that a big part of it all is how we develop our <em>relationships</em> with others.</p>
<ol>
<strong>Things to do:</strong></ol>
<ul>
<li>Go out places to meet people. Bars, clubs, coffee shops, yoga workshops, music shows &#8211; whatever interests appeal to you most.
</li>
<li>Plan an event. Think of something that you and your friends like doing, then find a date that works for the most people. It can be something as simple as going out to a new restaurant to throwing a costume party at your house. Invite as many or as a few people as possible. If your goal is to meet new people then have your friends bring other friends.</li>
<li>Re-connect with old friends. Now with the internet and social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace, it is actually possible to stay in touch with virtually everyone you have ever known. Ask how people are doing, and see if you still share any common interests. </li>
<li>Go to meet-up or dating sites. I don&#8217;t necessarily recommend this one, but this is now becoming a legitimate way to meet new people so I figure it is worth mentioning. When I was younger I met about 15-20 people through Myspace. Some of those people I am still good friends with today. The great thing about the internet is that you can connect easily with people who share your tastes, even if they are a bit quirkier than the norm. Finding people with similar music tastes is a particular area of my life that the internet has helped me out with greatly.  </li>
</ul>
<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/nathangibbs/"><center><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1260/1360099367_8b9366043e_m.jpg" alt="null" /></center></a></p>
<p><font size="3"><strong>5. FINANCIAL</strong></font></p>
<p>You cannot ignore the economic realities of life no matter what part of the world you are in. In any system, whether it is capitalist or socialist, you are going to be called upon to offer something of value to society. In some cultures they call this a &#8220;job,&#8221; although I have come to hate the word completely. </p>
<ol>
<strong>Things to do:</strong></ol>
<ul>
<li>Simple answer: go to school and then pursue a career. Of course it is never that easy. You need to find something that interests you. You can start by asking yourself, &#8220;What can I do that will make me enough money to live comfortably but that I still enjoy doing?&#8221;</li>
<li>
Do you want to be an entrepreneur? I personally think we do not ask ourselves this question enough. We take it for granted that we need to go to college, only to later enter the corporate world. But is this really the case? You may have a particular talent or skill that you can capitalize on without having to have a boss who dictates your every move. Wouldn&#8217;t that be nice and worth pursuing?</li>
<li>
Many people who aren&#8217;t entrepreneurs or CEOs still enjoy their work life. You can certainly work for a corporation and still love your job. <strong>Find a good company to work for.</strong> You are worth it. The best part is that you will be more productive when you enjoy your job. This then gives you a sense of achievement that every good job should provide. </li>
<li>
A healthy financial life also includes knowing how to set a budget, not spending beyond your means, and being a good saver. You can have the best paying job in the world, but you can still spend your way to bankruptcy. Prioritize your spending. Needs come before luxuries. Savings are the best way to minimize financial risk for the future. </li>
<li>Avoid making bad economic decisions. You can start by reading a great article published in 1998 in the Harvard Business Review regarding <strong><a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&#038;source=web&#038;ct=res&#038;cd=2&#038;ved=0CAoQFjAB&#038;url=http%3A%2F%2Fsciencepolicy.colorado.edu%2Fstudents%2Fenvs_5120%2Fhammond_1998.pdf&#038;rct=j&#038;q=hidden+traps+in+decision+making&#038;ei=4NoBS-GQGYuQlAeesMiWCw&#038;usg=AFQjCNE5_pyTu-Rs5mV7cfWg0rghWlpBIQ">Hidden Traps Of Decision Making</a></strong> (11 page PDF file). This one goes over the most common biases we share when making decisions about money. </li>
</ul>
<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/vipez/"><center><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3278/2474531879_1df8e3561a_m.jpg" alt="null" /></center></a></p>
<p><font size="3"><strong>6. SPIRITUAL</strong></font></p>
<p>Spirituality can sometimes be the most overlooked aspect to life. I define it as &#8220;the relationship between our self and world.&#8221; In many ways, our spiritual life is what defines our core, our foundation, our purpose, our identity, and our reason for living. It permeates in all that we think, say, and act. It is also how we view ourselves in relation to the world. Our spirituality determines our position of personal power. We can let the world crush us, or we can let it sit in the palm of our hands. Our relationship with our self has a deep impact on our relationship with others.</p>
<ol>
<strong>Things to do:</strong></ol>
<ul>
<li>Be creative. When we express ourselves through things like art, music, or writing we are developing an emotional and spiritual intelligence; we are turning our ideas and intentions into reality. We are drawing upon the creative energies of God himself.</li>
<li>Spend time in solitude. It is really not as depressing as it sounds. Dedicate some time alone for prayer, meditation, or even something as simple as watching the sunrise. Learn to appreciate these moments because they are composed of the same fundamental things that make up our whole matrices of existence. It is a way to be in better touch with your most basic self, something so simple, yet the source of all our happiness and suffering. Learn to love it for everything that it is.</li>
<li>Have faith that life is good. Faith may not have any role in science, but it does have an important role in good living. Don&#8217;t underestimate the importance of seeing the good in things, even our very worst experiences can be valuable, as they are only lessons yet to be learned. Every moment is a source of wealth. Practice living richly.</li>
</ul>
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