A recent study published in the scientific journal Nature explains how confidence plays an important role in our evolution.
According to the research, confidence motivates us to take action in the face of uncertainty. The more confident we are, the more likely we are to fight for the resources we need to survive.
The truth is life is filled with uncertainty. We never really know how the future is going to turn out. And sometimes due to this uncertainty we fear rejection or failure.
We might be deathly afraid of being rejected by at a girl at a bar. So instead of taking the risk and starting a conversation, we just hang with our friends and never approach her.
Or maybe we are afraid of starting a new career because we don’t think we will be any good at it. So instead we stick with our old job, even though we hate it and get paid half the salary.
Lack of confidence can cause us to sabotage ourselves in all sorts of ways.
Let me ask you a question. Do you think guys like Michael Jordan, Bruce Lee, and Tiger Woods got to where they are without believing in themselves? Of course not! They believed they were capable of great things, and that belief motivated them to work hard and make it happen.
In the same way confidence can directly impact your life in a positive way.
However — sometimes due to years and years of being down on ourselves, it’s hard to find confidence. So here are some tips to help build more of it in your life:
- Reflect on your strengths.
- View obstacles as learning experiences.
- Find a supportive social circle.
- Repeat positive affirmations about yourself.
- Exercise and stay healthy.
Most of these are commonsense. But if you actually practice them, you will see more confidence in your life.
I’ve been studying psychology for 5 years now. Throughout those years I’ve discovered that there is nothing more important to our success than what we think about ourselves.
This is because confidence can be like a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we have positive beliefs, that causes us to act in ways that bring us the results we want.
Evolutionarily, this is probably why confidence became a desirable trait.
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Yikes! Not only does it hurt to have to do so much work, but this stress then carries over into other aspects of our life. Thankfully there some strategies we can take to combat with a busy work schedule and still maintain sanity.
A. Re-think what counts
Sometimes work overload is really just a figment of our imagination. In actuality we may not have that much to do after a bit of re-scheduling, holding off, or cutting down on our to-do list. Find some things you can put off until next week. Also see if you can identify any tasks that you can just forget about completely. Often, “busy-ness” is something we only subject ourselves too when we don’t take the proper time to re-think what really counts. Learn to treasure a bit of minimalism, it’ll help you preserve energy for the more important stuff.
B. Take a siesta or two
As I mention in my one article, “reflection has shown to increase learning, memory, and other cognitive abilities. The more employers apply these revolutionary findings to the workplace the quicker we can move to what I hope to be a more enlightened age for modern capitalism.
C. Dedicate 10-15 minutes toward fitness
OK, we get it – you are “just too busy” to go to the gym. But fitness can be achieved anywhere as long as you have the creativity and dedication to integrate it into your routine. Try taking short breaks and do some push-ups and sit-ups in your office. By doing this you are taking your mind off of your latest assignment and rejuvenating your mental health. Taking an active approach to personal fitness is a great way to channel your stresses and at the same time boost your stamina throughout the day. CEOs take note: one article here illustrates how fitness in the workplace helps increase productivity by boosting employee self-confidence and company morale.
- Edward Stanley
D. Remember the importance of leisure
Leisure is anytime you are actively engaged in something of pleasure. Without the highs we would certainly have greater difficulty bearing the lows; leisure it is what makes life live-able. So, if you don’t already, find yourself some hobbies that really spark your interest and curiosity – something that energizes you and reminds you that there is a good life. And no matter how down or stressed out you may become there are always these one or two things available to lighten your mood.
E. Highlight what you like about your job
Most of us never achieved our childhood dream jobs. That is part of why the jobs we have can be so stressful and overbearing. But there is a mental thing you can do to learn to love your job more. First, make note of the aspects of your job that you do enjoy. That change in focus can help facilitate your workday, and the more you can learn to love, the easier time you will have.
I am not asking you to be delusional and all-smiles as you walk through the office, but to make the best out of what is, and learn the importance of a positive attitude. Rather than going into your day thinking, “Oh no, not another Monday,” instead think, “This will be a fun and productive day.”
What you are creating is a self-fulfilling prophecy – where your expectations affect your behaviors, and in return those behaviors elicit outcomes where your expectations actually come true. This phenomena has shown support in psychology ever since Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson published a study in 1968. It showed that when teachers have high expectations for students (even when based on false information) it leads to those students actually performing better on their IQ tests. Never underestimate the importance of your attitude and beliefs.
F. As a last resort: say “fuck it all” and take a day off
I would be lying to you if I didn’t include the age old “fuck it all” strategy. Of course it is a last resort, but sometimes it is necessary. I’ve done it myself during busy times of the year where I just need that extra day off to gather up my strength. Work is important, but it is not worth selling your soul for. The times where you feel most exhausted and overtaxed are the best times to stay at home and re-build yourself. But, I don’t recommend skipping out on days where you have an important business meeting or days when a big project is due – you have to use your own best judgment. Don’t do something that will get you fired.
I just finished reading the latest edition of Psychology Today and came across a very interesting experiment. The results showed that students who were told that nervousness would improve performance ended up scoring better on their Graduate Record Exam (GRE) than students who were told nothing at all.
The study (PDF download) was done by several researchers at the Emotion, Health, And Psychophysiology Laboratory at Harvard University. It is further evidence on the power of positive appraisal on physiology and performance. One of the researchers, Wendy Berry Mendes, says this effect may even be stronger for athletes, “because physical exertion drives up adrenaline levels, they’ve got even more nervous energy to channel.” (PT, p. 14)
I one time read that the adrenaline rush we feel from something like a roller-coaster or an exciting movie is very biochemically similar to the stress response we experience before something like a job interview or a hard day at work.
The raw energy in itself is never necessarily a bad thing; it all depends on where we direct it. If we are wasting it all on concerns, worries, and negative thoughts, then we have less energy to concentrate on doing a good job. The same is true no matter what environment you are in, whether it is in the office, at home, or on a football field.
But when students in the experiment were told that their nervousness was positive, they were probably no longer thinking, “Oh no! I am so worried that my mind might go blank!” and instead their inner voice began saying, “Aha, I feel the energy and I am pumped!”
The meaning behind the emotion makes all the difference. It is the arrow telling us where to focus our attention; and where attention goes, energy flows.
With practice I believe we could all do better at transforming our negative energies – like anxiety, frustration and depression – into a more focused and positive form of concentrated energy, like that which I describe in my recent article on flow.
The power of belief and meaning
The only difference between the two groups of students was that one believed their nervousness was good; so when they became more aroused during the exam it meant something positive and beneficial was occurring.
How we interpret the meaning of our internal experiences can have a world of difference in how we behave and act. Two individuals can have very similar pasts and memories, but one may look back at those memories and feel crippled, while another looks back and is inspired by all the things they have learned.
While we may not always choose what we experience, it is always the individual who chooses what to take away from that experience – and that is part of what makes humans so self-empowering (and at the same time so self-defeating).
When something negative is happening to us we often feel helpless, as if it is out of our control; but if we take our experience and put a positive frame around it, then it becomes an ability and not a crutch.
Click here to read a more recent article I wrote about beliefs: Beliefs and Your Map of Reality.
Letting the energy build
The students who were told that nervousness was a good thing also showed greater signs of stress through a saliva test. This may imply that because students found their nervousness to be positive, they were less willing to fight or resist it, and more willing to let it build up. The more, the better – right?
And maybe they are right, because the more energy that builds up, the more focus they can apply towards answering questions correctly. Perhaps it was even this difference that allowed these students to score better on the GRE in the first place – they let the energy flow through them.
Too fanciful or a path towards a better self?
I admit these findings and suggestion can sometimes sound a bit too fanciful or idealistic. At the very least channeling our energy in such a way is “easier said than done.” But certainly this is something worth practicing.
If through the power of our beliefs we can shape our reality in subtle but effective ways, then this is something worth our effort and attention. Hopefully future studies will reveal more about these psychophysiological mechanisms and how we can use them to build both a better self and a better world.
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