It’s easy to let our minds do what minds do best – worry, fret, fuss, ruminate and fantasize about how awful everything is. Or is going to be. But, there is another way.

Take a minute now to pause with me. Let’s decide together, you and me, to commit to happiness. To make us the CEO’s of “My Life Rocks, Inc.” right now. We can both throw the covers back over our heads and not get out of our pajamas ever, or we can shift the focus to switching our brains to happy.

Thanks to the wizardry of MRI scans, scientists have been able to discover that the brain is pretty elastic and continues to change throughout your life. Which means that if you make it a conscious, daily habit to challenge your thoughts, you’ll be creating new neural pathways in the brain. Cool, huh?

Clients come to me with a huge range of different problems. Similarly, I’ve come to myself with a huge range of different problems; everything from relationship stress to money worries. But the answer is always the same: changing the way you think is the quickest and most long lasting effect you can have on your happiness.

If you’re committed to making your happiness a priority no matter what life decides to throw at you, then the first step to figuring out how your thinking is holding you back from happiness is by taking a look at these 5 main thinking errors.

1. You think in Black and White

This is when your thoughts are based on polar opposites, such as things being all good or all bad. Your thoughts swing from one extreme to the other and happiness levels swing too. When you stick to the rules, you feel fabulous, virtuous and strong. But when you break them, even in a small way, the “I suck” radio station in your head starts playing at full volume.

Why is this toxic? Perfection is a fantasy. It simply doesn’t exist in the real world and it only sets us up for dissapointment. When you don’t meet your idealistic expectations, you will end up less happy.

Shortcuts to happy – Toss the rulebook! I say go for guidelines instead. Rules get broken but guidelines are flexible. Guidelines make it OK to shoot for good enough instead of perfect.

2. You Catastrophise

OK, so I realize that’s not a real word, but go with me! If you’re a catastrophe girl, you’ll jump to the worst possible conclusion in any circumstance. If this is you, it’s time to ‘fess up to the fact that you live at a constant state of high level anxiety. Catastrophisers live in the future. Instead of focusing on whats happening in the present, they imagine everything that can go wrong.

Why is this toxic? It’s a huge drain on your mental energy, your whole focus is on something that hasn’t happened yet and probably never will. Not only that, but being in a constant state of stress taxes your body. Your adrenals are pumping, your metabolism becomes out-of-whack, and you’re always primed to respond (fight-or-flight mode).

Shortcuts to happy – Breathe. It’s free (always my favourite price). Breathing long, slow, deep breathes signals to your body that it doesn’t need to panic.

Smile. Smiling also sends signals to the brain (releasing endorphins). This helps to tell your body to relax and enjoy the moment.

Finally, try this fun experiment – take the thing you’re turning into a catastrophe and really go for it. You turned in a report at work and your boss didn’t LOVE it. Go to the very, very extreme: “He doesn’t like me”…”I’m not going to get that promotion”…”He’ll end up firing me”…”I’ll never get another job ever again”…”I’ll get kicked out of my apartment”…”I’ll end up homeless on the streets with only pigeons for friends.”

Why does this work? Because when you take your negativity to the extreme it helps you see the silly side of where that thinking is getting you. Is it really true that in this present moment you are in danger of living on the streets with only pigeons for friends? Probably not. Once you’ve pushed it that far, pull back and ask yourself – OK, what can I do now that I’ve brought this problem back down to size?

3. You think with a Negative Bias

The mood you’re in often influences your thoughts and memories – so if you’re beating yourself up because yesterday you slipped off the Crazy Sexy Diet wagon, you’ll start recalling other times you failed or let yourself down. In this new situation, your mind will trawl through your memory bank and select the perfect “here’s another example of how much you sucked at this before” example just for your viewing pleasure.

Why is this toxic? This kind of thinking becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you look back at your past and only acknowledge your failures, you program yourself to continue acting in that way. On top of that, your negativity spreads to others and intoxicates your relationships, especially those closest to you such as family and friends.

Shortcuts to happy – Time for a complaint detox! Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it every time you hear yourself begin to moan. After, find a way to reframe the past event in a more positive light by looking at it as a learning experience.

Another thing you can try is to take a piece of ribbon and write the following letters on it LIBAII – this stands for let it be as it is. Tie the ribbon around your wrist and remind yourself to let things be instead of complaining every time you look at the ribbon.

Break the cycle. Constant negative rumination needs to be disrupted through insight, by discovering new meaning to your life’s story.

4. You Intellectualize

Many people crave a rational, logical explanation for everything that happens to them. They rarely let their emotions be. While this may help us avoid pain, it can also inhibits us from joy and love – and expressing ourselves as human beings. We begin to experience life in a more dull way, and it can be difficult to find satisfaction.

Why is this toxic? Emotions serve a purpose. Just like pain tells you to pull your hand away from a fire, emotions send messages that need to be listened to. Rationalizing them away might work to avoid temporary suffering, but emotions will keep building up until you finally pay attention to them. When they bottle up too much, they can explode into dark, dreaded, and sleeplessness nights of contemplation. Emotional acceptance and mastery is what we’re after, not emotional denial.

Shortcuts to happy – Use the power of the pause. Develop the habit of pausing three times a day for an internal meeting with yourself. Stop and ask, “What am I really feeling right now? Where in my body am I feeling it? How is this affecting my day?” Be honest, even if the emotions are difficult to ‘fess up to. By properly owning your emotions, you take responsibility for yourself and you’re in a much more powerful place to make changes.

5. You Over-Think

Hello, you familiar friend! Man, this one is like a comfy pair of slippers for me!

Over-thinking, ruminating, mulling it over…whatever you call it, it shows up as constantly reworking past events in your mind, trying to understand the logic behind it. Fretting about things that haven’t happened yet (like when you “Catstrophise”)? Yes, that counts too. Welcome to my special summer camp of Think-O-Rama, where it’s non-stop mental drama!

Why is this toxic? Over-thinkers (like me) can find themselves very stuck very often. Thinking is good, but over-thinking cripples action, and leaves us in a position where we never take a step forward.

Shortcut to happy - Get in the moment. Right now. Come back to the present by turning your attention to your breathing. Avoid excessive past rumination or daydreaming. Simply notice your breathing, re-focus on what is happening in front of you right now, and start taking conscious action over your life.

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