black and white thinking


Black and white thinking is our tendency to look at the world in terms of “all or nothing.” This strict and stubborn perspective can become the cause of many problems in our lives because it often represents a false view of reality.


How we choose to look at the world is going to influence what we see.

Black and white thinking is a common symptom among individuals with depression, anxiety, or mood disorders. It can be the cause of many problems in our lives because it’s often based on a false view of the world that doesn’t acknowledge the complexity of life.

Black and white thinking is our tendency to look at the world in terms of “all or nothing.” We either find things to be completely “good” or “bad,” “beautiful” or “ugly,” “easy” or “hard,” “happy” or “sad.”

It leads us to ask questions such as, “Am I a good OR a bad person?” And then when we find evidence of our flaws, mistakes, and failures, we conclude “I must be a BAD person. There’s no other way!”

But what if you’re not wholly good or bad? If you’re being completely honest with yourself, you’ll often find that you are a mixed bag of strengths and weaknesses – like every other human being on the planet.

We are complex and dynamic creatures, but black and white thinking often stops us from seeing it. We try to put ourselves into a neat little box (“I’m bad,” “I’m ugly,” “I’m dumb,”) and label ourselves one way or another – but that label can also becomes a prison.

As a result, we don’t acknowledge all the grey areas in life and in ourselves. The things we can’t fit into a box. Life’s paradoxes. Unknowns. Possibilities. The stuff that’s difficult to put into words.

Black and white thinking is the illusion that we have all the answers to life when we really don’t.

Our minds are quick to judge and cling to old beliefs rather than open the door to new ways of thinking and seeing. We prefer to cling to a wrong answer than to have no answer at all.

Here are important lessons to consider when it comes to black and white thinking.


Black and white thinking limits your perspective

When we only see things in black and white, we miss out on alternative ways of viewing the world.

Black and white thinking creates a false choice between “A” and “B,” when “C” may be the more accurate and helpful view.

It is rare in life to be truly stuck between only two choices. Often these false choices or false dichotomies are always a result of simplistic and absolutist thinking.

People find themselves thinking, “I need to focus on family OR my career,” or “I need to be an athletic person OR an intellectual person,” or “I need to be a Republican OR a Democrat.”

With each either/or statement, we narrow the field of possibilities.

When we only think in terms of “A” or “B,” then we are unlikely to even consider “C” a possibility in the first place.

It’s like asking yourself every day, “What should I have for dinner: pizza or tacos?” But forgetting all the other delicious foods life has to offer.


Black and white thinking makes you more judgmental

Black and white thinking is often a way to make snap judgments rather than think more critically and nuanced about a situation.

It’s easy to look at a person and assign a quick label that they are “this” or “that” type of person and assume they neatly fit into a stereotype of what society expects.

Rather than recognizing everyone (including yourself) as a complex person, it’s easier to reduce and simplify people to a single category.

In some cases, we literally see society in terms of “black” vs. “white,” which is just one of many example of the “Us vs. Them” mentality that keeps society divided and unwilling to cooperate with each other.

Black and white thinking doesn’t just hurt ourselves, but also our ability to build meaningful relationships with people who we perceive as different than us or belonging to a different group.

We break people down based on religion, nationality, culture, race, gender, sexual orientation, political affiliation, or social class, and then we assume we know everything about them based on that one trait or characteristic.

Again, this only stops us from thinking and learning new things about the world. It’s a way of blinding our eyes and deafening our ears, rather than being open to other ways of perceiving.

If you find yourself thinking things such as, “ALL of those types of people are like this,” then you’re engaging in a form of black and white thinking. You’re putting yourself in a position where it’s nearly impossible to find common ground or common interests – because your mind won’t allow it.


Black and white thinking makes you unstable and dramatic

When you’re unable to swim in the grey areas, you’ll inevitably get caught up in the currents of “black” and “white.” This often leads to emotional instability and unnecessary drama.

Something good happens in your life and you think, “Everything is awesome! I’m the happiest person in the world!” then the next day something bad happens and you think, “Everything sucks! God hates me!”

How tiring it must be to always be jumping from one extreme to another? This exaggerated thinking leads to an unbalanced and dramatic mindset, where you get caught up in every “high” and every “low.”

Life is often a combination of happiness and sadness. It’s rarely 100% one or the other. When you accept the inevitable yin-yang of your emotional world, you’ll understand how to navigate it more effectively.

This is why I try my best not to use absolutist language like “always/never,” or “everyone/no one,” or “all/none” because they are usually signs of black and white thinking.

Instead, I love using words like “sometimes,” “maybe,” or “a bit.” (that may make me a less powerful and persuasive writer, but it definitely makes me a better thinker). It allows me to accept the truth while still being open that it’s more complex than I realize. I consider this an important tool for minimizing negativity rather than feeding into it.


Black and white thinking makes you less flexible and adaptive

At the end of the day, black and white thinking makes you less flexible and adaptive – it closes doors rather than opens them.

Black and white thinking comes with the assumption that we always know where to “draw lines in the sand.” But the truth is we don’t; sometimes new information and new experiences tell us we need to adjust those lines and our map of reality as a whole.

Are you open to seeing things in a different way? Can you accept and acknowledge all the grey areas in life?


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