When I was first seeking self improvement about 8 years ago I was in a dark place, so I was pretty desperate and gullible. The more someone claimed they could help me, the more I was willing to devour everything they said.
I was introduced to the promising ideas found in books and movies like Law of Attraction, The Secret, and What the Bleep? – and I was captivated.
They offered the idea that everything in the universe was a product of my own mind. And if I didn’t like reality, all I had to do was change my mind. Then, through some mysterious power in the universe, things would begin to work out for me.
How can anyone not find that idea just wonderful and amazing? It makes you feel like some kind of omnipotent God.
Today, millions of people fall for this idea just like me. However, I think in the long-term these magical and fanciful ideas actually lead to disappointment, and in worse cases even self-blame and self-hate.
Let me explain.
If everything in the universe is a product of your own mind, then you have a lot of weight to carry on your shoulders. It would mean that you are responsible for literally every good and bad thing that ever happened to you.
You didn’t get that new job you wanted? You got into a car crash and broke your leg? You were robbed coming home last night? It’s because you weren’t sending out the right “vibrations” to the universe. If you were, nothing bad would ever happen to you ever.
So under the law of attraction, anything bad that ever happens to you must be your fault, and that’s going to make you feel like shit.
The truth is that sometimes bad things happen to good people for no good reason. It has nothing to do with your mind or “vibrations,” it has to do with the simple fact that the universe is bigger than you, and not everything is always in your control.
Accepting what isn’t in your control is way more powerful than the delusion that everything is in your control:
- It stops you from all the unnecessary disappointment, frustration, and blame that often comes when we think we are responsible for everything that happens to us.
- It frees your mind to focus on things that you can control. So instead of wasting your time, energy, and attention on things you can’t change, you focus those resources in a way that can make a real difference.
Our beliefs and perspective can have a tremendous impact on the results we get in life – there’s no doubt that self-fulfilling beliefs do exist to some degree. But ideas like the law of attraction take this idea to an unhealthy extreme.
If you’re someone who has dedicated a lot of time to ideas like the Law of Attraction and The Secret, you may be experiencing the same type of disappointment and self-blame that I did.
If you find yourself in that situation, I recommend taking a more practical and balanced approach to life, such as learning the ideas and information shared in The Science of Self Improvement.
When I started taking a more realistic and practical approach to my own life (without thinking I control everything about reality), that’s when my self improvement journey really got started.
Discover more tools to daily growth in the digital guide The Science of Self Improvement