Explain Yourself: The Healthy Challenge of Describing Your Beliefs

If you can’t explain yourself to others, then it’s unlikely you can explain yourself to yourself – and that’s not a good sign.

It may seem odd, but a lot of people don’t know exactly what they believe until they are called upon to describe those beliefs out-loud and explain why they have them.

Instead, most of us take our beliefs and map of reality for granted. We just assume whatever we believe is reality, without ever taking a step back and questioning why we think that in the first place.

Where do many of our beliefs come from? A lot of our beliefs are based on what we were taught growing up by our parents and teachers. We adopt those beliefs at a young age when we aren’t even capable of thinking critically about them yet.

Every now and then, it’s important that we reflect on our beliefs and ask ourselves: 1) What do I really believe, 2) Why do I believe that?, 3) How has that belief changed over the years?

Naturally, we feel strongly about our beliefs and we cling to them as if they are an inseparable part of our identity. We always want to be right because it hurts our egos when we are proven wrong; sometimes we even hold onto misinformation and incorrect assumptions after they’ve been disproven.

Psychology research shows it’s hard to break old beliefs once they are formed. That’s why it’s essential that we analyze them, discuss them, and question them if we want to keep our minds sharp and open to new knowledge. Upon inspection, we often find that our beliefs aren’t as solid and convincing as we initially thought.

This is one of the main reasons we should frequently challenge our beliefs whenever possible – and we should be able to change these beliefs when confronted with new information and new experiences.

There’s often a huge gap between what we believe vs. what we know.

Humans have a tendency to overestimate their knowledge and intelligence. The Dunning-Kruger effect is the common phenomenon that those who are less knowledgeable about a subject tend to be the most confident in their beliefs, while those who are more knowledgeable tend to be less confident. This fits with the common quote, “The more you know, the more you realize what you don’t know.”

In one study published in Cognitive Science, researchers asked participants how well they thought they knew about how everyday devices worked (such as a piano key, a sewing machine, or a zipper), then they had them explain their answers.

The main finding was that people tend to overestimate how much they think they know. For example, when asked to explain how a zipper works, most people realized they didn’t really know once they were called upon to describe it. It seems so simple and familiar to us, but most of us don’t know the details and physics behind it once we really stop to think about it.

This effect is sometimes referred to as “the illusion of explanatory depth.” It’s our tendency to overestimate how well we think we understand how something works when we are called upon to explain it.

In another study published in Psychological Science, researchers asked participants what their political beliefs were, how well they thought they understood certain policies associated with those beliefs, and then had them defend those beliefs.

Just like in the first study, participants overestimated how much they thought they knew about their political beliefs and how the policies they advocated would actually play out in the real world.

More surprisingly, once individuals were called upon to give this “mechanistic explanation” of how they thought certain policies would work – and once they became more aware of their own ignorance – they actually changed their political positions to something more moderate.

This can be seen as promising, since it shows that when individuals are directly confronted with their ignorance (and their inability to explain their beliefs more in-depth), then they are more willing to adjust those beliefs.

The best way to demolish an incorrect belief is sometimes to simply ask yourself, “How do I really know that?” This type of healthy skepticism can make us more intelligent thinkers at the end of the day.

The Healthy Challenge of Explaining Your Beliefs

Challenging your beliefs is one of the central components behind scientific-based therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). However, it requires a willingness to prove yourself wrong and question long-held assumptions about yourself and the world around you.

The main idea behind CBT is that many people, especially those who suffer from depression or anxiety, have unhealthy and unrealistic beliefs (or “thought patterns”) about themselves, which have a negative influence on how they think, feel, and act in their daily lives.

From a self-improvement perspective, certain beliefs can often become self-fulfilling prophecies, where “negative beliefs” → “negative behaviors” → “negative outcomes” → “negative beliefs”… in a never-ending feedback loop.

For example, if you hold the belief that “No one ever likes me,” then you’re going to enter conversations with that expectation. This can lead you to be more shy, reserved, defensive, or mean toward others, which will inevitably lead you to come off less likable. Then people will respond negatively to you and you will think, “See? I knew it! No one likes me!”

The best way to break out of this cycle is to challenge your beliefs more and be willing to become more flexible in your thinking.

One of the best ways to challenge your beliefs is to try and explain them – especially trying to articulate them to an outside audience. Healthy suggestions include…

• Share your beliefs with friends and family (they can often see your blindspots better than anyone).
• Write about your beliefs in a journal or blog (often putting your thoughts into words makes them more clear to you)
• Have a friendly debate with someone who disagrees with you (have a third party moderate so it doesn’t turn into a yelling match).
• Present a lecture or speech to an audience (ask people after if they have any constructive feedback for you).
• Teach something to someone, as a tutor or in a classroom (the student, mentor, and peer is an important framework for any learning process).
• Share your beliefs on social media (get ready for feedback!).
• Talk to a therapist, counselor, or coach (like me!)
• Get an outside perspective from a complete stranger (sometimes a “fly on the wall” perspective can provide important insights, especially when it comes to relationships).
• Explain something to a child using the simplest language possible (there’s a popular saying, “If you can’t explain it to a 5 year old, then you don’t understand it well enough”).
• Think out-loud to yourself (programmer’s call it the “rubber duck” technique)

The basic idea is to identify your beliefs and elaborate on them as much as possible.

Really dig into your beliefs and see where they come from, what evidence you have to defend them, and how they relate to other beliefs and your overall worldview. Do your beliefs fit together – or are there contradictions and things that don’t exactly add up?

When you challenge yourself to explain yourself, you sharpen your overall thinking and perspective.

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