When we focus on what we have already accomplished throughout our lives, it often becomes easier to continue making progress. Our past experiences become a motivational tool. And once we get a taste of success, we develop an appetite for more.
If there is one thing I’ve learned since studying and practicing personal development, it’s that no matter where you are on this path, it is filled with many success and failures. Growth is rarely a linear process. Instead, it’s dynamic. Sometimes you’re going to see your efforts crumble right in front of your eyes, and other times you’ll see your efforts come to full fruition. Often the better you manage your failures and hold onto your successes, the more motivated you will be to continue further with your endeavors.
For example, one aspect of my life I’ve been trying to improve on is exercising more often. I haven’t become a health nut yet, but I’m starting to see improvement – and it’s motivating me to keep going. In fact, there’s been a couple times over the past month where people have commented on my “more fit” physique. I know I still have a lot more room for improvement, but it’s inspiring to get that kind of external validation because now I know that I’m doing something right.
Another thing I’ve been trying to work on more is making a viable income from The Emotion Machine. I really enjoy writing about these kinds of topics and it’s been my goal over the past two years to try and turn this into a way of making a living. For two years I wrote new content several times a week and experienced very minimal success when it came to making money; I experimented with advertising, affiliate marketing, and even trying to offer my own services, but nothing “clicked” right away. Instead there’s been a lot of trial-and-error involved, and the good news is that I’m finally beginning to see some success – and that too is motivating. I’m not making a living yet (I’m only 22 and still living with my parents), but now I at least have some money to splurge on some new clothes and music equipment. I haven’t had spending money in awhile, so it’s nice to finally look into my bank account and see something there.
Both of these “success stories” aren’t anything spectacular, but I recognize them as part of something that will continue to grow – and there is a power to that perspective.
Before I had any success with health or business, my attitude was much different. I was coming from a place of desperation. Sure, I liked exercising and working on this blog, but a part of me was dependent on seeing immediate results. I fell for the myth of overnight success, and when I wasn’t getting results right away I quickly got frustrated and started doubting myself. Luckily I remained faithful and persistent during these dark times and now I’m beginning to see it finally pay off.
And now that I’m seeing results in these domains of my life, I feel a weight beginning to lift from my shoulders. My desperation has turned into inspiration. Now I know that I can overcome obstacles. Now I know I can experience success if I really work at something. And now I also have some positive history to draw confidence from and continue to build off of.
“The reason people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go instead of how far they have gotten.”
Anonymous
I believe this quote really hits the crux of the message I want to send out right now. Once you begin making progress in your life you should cherish it, no matter how small or minor you think that progress is. Because reaching big goals is really nothing more than reaching a bunch of small goals over and over again. And when we recognize the value of reaching these small goals, we can motivate ourselves to accomplish some tremendous things in the long haul.
Join now for more free updates on psychology, relationships, and personal development.
- Why your past attempts at social anxiety have failed.
- How to become as relaxed and easygoing around strangers as you are around your closest friend.
- How to use new breakthrough discoveries in science and psychology to help you eliminate the anxiety, nervousness, self-doubt, fear and insecurities that are destroying your chances at making friends, getting a girlfriend/boyfriend and building a social life.
- The seemingly harmless action your parents or relatives did that reinforced your anxiety at a young age.
- How to use the secrets of psychological conditioning to manage your anxiety.
- How the “Power Of Expectations” keeps you shy or socially anxious.
- An enlightened guru’s forgotten mind-trick that gives you the stone-cold, unshakeable confidence of self-made millionaires and natural-born leaders.
- How to patch up the holes in your self-esteem FOR GOOD.
- A 2-step exercise to identify exactly how you are letting people control your actions.
- How you should act to make people value and respect you.
- An ancient Buddhist technique for becoming absolutely calm and in control.
- Why shy people are afraid to wear cool or stylish clothes.
- And much more…
Click here to find out more about The Shyness & Social Anxiety System.
Dear living and breathing person,
I bet you are more blessed than you realize.
I know at times life can be difficult,
Even painful.
But how lucky you are to still be alive,
And to still have choice.
Because no matter how young or old you are,
Or how much you suffer,
That choice is still there.
And it is what makes you alive,
And who you are.
I appreciate these things now,
Only because I no longer have them.
Once you’re dead,
All pain and pleasure is gone.
But worst of all,
All choice is gone as well.
But you,
You’re still alive.
You’re still conscious.
You’re still thinking.
You’re still feeling.
And you’re still deciding and acting.
You still have a chance,
To be an influence on your world,
To change others,
And to do something remarkable with your time.
Time is too precious.
And everyday that passes,
You have the opportunity to decide,
To live well,
To live heroically,
And to be happy.
Live consciously,
And make those decisions.
Now.
Before it is too late.
Introduction
Neurons that fire together wire together. So the more we practice having thoughts or beliefs that benefit our well-being, the more naturally those thoughts and beliefs will play themselves out in our everyday life.
Affirmations are one way to develop new beliefs that can eventually become second-nature. Every morning or evening we can repeat these affirmations with a clear and focused mind, and with practice these beliefs can take hold inside our brains.
One caveat, however, is to make sure that the affirmations you repeat to yourself are congruent with reality, and aligned with your core values. I’ve seen many people come up with delusional affirmations and then attempt to ingrain them into their minds. Even when they do succeed, those beliefs can be detrimental.
Please be aware of the meaning and intention behind the affirmation before you decide to “program it” into your mind.
The following is just a list of suggestions on some of the affirmations you may want to practice. Feel free to use the ones you think will benefit you, and disregard the ones you disagree with. Hopefully this list can also motivate you to think of some unique affirmations of your own.
I recommend only practicing 1 or 2 affirmations at a time. And the affirmations you choose to practice should largely depend on your current goals in personal development.
75 Affirmations for Personal Development
-
1. Everyday, in every way, I am getting better and better.
2. Every failure is a learning experience.
3. Live in the present moment.
4. I create value in other peoples’ lives.
5. I am always changing.
6. I am worthy of positive relationships in my life.
7. I wish the best for everyone.
8. I learn something new everyday.
9. am genuinely interested in other people.
10. I have many strengths.
11. I don’t worry about the things I can’t control.
12. Listening to my emotions can help guide me to make better decisions.
13. My anxiety is motivation to change or improve.
14. I can overcome obstacles in my life.
15. I am a positive role model to others.
16. I will try something different today.
17. Stepping outside of my comfort zone is necessary for growth.
18. People are generally good.
19. I forgive anyone who has hurt me in the past.
20. I have a rich and supportive social circle.
21. What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger.
22. My past is one big learning experience.
23. I must be the change I wish to see in the world.
24. I will try to be more understanding of others.
25. Depression is just a stepping stone.
26. This too shall pass.
27. I can find happiness in every moment.
28. I’m a proactive problem-solver.
29. When I open my mind and senses, I’m much more creative.
30. I can create my own positive energy.
31. When people get to know me, they really like me.
32. Just do it.
33. I can see the bigger picture.
34. I see money as a useful tool for helping myself and others.
35. I take small steps everyday to be more healthy.
36. I’m dedicated to my passions in life.
37. I have the resources to take care of my family.
38. My negative emotions can serve a positive function.
39. I determine the meaning of my life.
40. Every decision I make helps shape my destiny.
41. No risk, no reward.
42. I remain focused on what matters.
43. I participate in life, I don’t wait for it to happen.
44. I will be more conscious when acting and making decisions.
45. I can think rationally and intelligently.
46. I’m dedicated to self improvement.
47. I treat others with kindness and respect.
48. If I want something I’ve never had, I must do something I’ve never done.
49. I know when to relax and not take life so seriously.
50. Nature doesn’t hurry, yet all is accomplished.
51. I can accept criticism without taking it personally.
52. I love and accept my body.
53. When I love myself, I allow others to love me too.
54. Most of the limitations in my life are fictional.
55. I narrate the story of my life.
56. I exude purpose and joy.
57. All is well, right here, right now.
58. Today, I open my mind to the endless opportunities surrounding me.
59. I am grateful for the people in my life.
60. I am my own best friend.
61. I can find balance in my life.
62. I am mindful of my health and well-being.
63. I exercise freedom in all aspects of my life.
64. I know when to trust my intuition.
65. I can gain knowledge in anything if I’m willing to learn.
66. strive to achieve my goals and values in life.
67. I can only give happiness to others once I have found happiness in myself.
68. I’m optimistic about the future.
69. I have all the material luxury I need.
70. I’m thankful for everything in my life.
71. I’m interconnected with everything in the universe.
72. I’m productive in achieving what I want in life.
73. Small changes on a daily basis lead to big changes over time.
74. of the time there is nothing to fear.
75. When life gets tough, I can persist.
Question
What are your favorite affirmations? Share them in the comments section!
Sign up to stay updated on new articles here.
This post is going to be a little out-of-character for me. Usually, I like to focus on the things we can control and change, but I think it is also worth noting that there will always be an element of uncertainty as we move forward in life.
This uncertainty can lead to both good or bad outcomes. We may put a lot of work into trying achieve a goal, like trying to get our dream job. We buff up our resume and try to make all the right contacts, only to find out later that someone else got the job because they happened to be “in the right place at the right time.” Maybe a friend of a friend knew the person who was hiring and hooked him up with an exclusive interview. That sucks, but it is beyond your control.
Such “failures” can leave a bad aftertaste in our mouth; perhaps they may even cripple us from pursuing other goals because things just never seem to work out. But it’s important to remember that sometimes we can do nothing wrong, yet still not get what we want. Such expectations have to be managed, and when something does go wrong due to chance, it is crucial that we let it go and persist forward anyway.
-
“Perhaps we are surrounded by positive opportunities all the time but just rarely notice them.”
If we remain persistent through life, then most of us will also have our fair share of good fortunes. You never know when a good opportunity might fall into your lap, so stay vigilant toward life’s opportunities and you can increase your chances when these opportunities present themselves.
Successful people condition themselves to look for opportunities of growth even though they aren’t yet sure where they may arise. Something called preemptive perception (PEP) attunes the observer to capitalize on a situation they hadn’t planned for. Therefore, an outcome that might be considered “pure luck” could actually be a greater awareness of potentially fortuitous circumstances. Perhaps we are surrounded by positive opportunities all the time but just rarely notice them.
The psychologist Richard Wiseman goes over ways people can actively increase their luck in his book The Luck Factor: The Four Essential Principles. The principles he writes about in the book include:
Lucky people are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities.
In one study they had both a “Lucky” and an “Unlucky” group solve a task that involved counting photographs in a newspaper. On average, the Unlucky group spent about two minutes, while the Lucky group spent just a few seconds. Why the huge disparity? Because participants in the Lucky group were more likely to spot a message on the second page that read: “Stop counting. There are 43 photographs in this newspaper.”
Those who consider themselves more lucky are more likely to spot opportunities like this in the real world as well.
They make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition.
Those who consider themselves more lucky also seem to exhibit better intuition. While at times impulses can lead us in the wrong direction, some psychologists argue that intuition is a form of “rapid cognition” or “situational knowledge,” and gut instincts can be an appropriate way to begin searching for answers to a particular problem. While lucky people practice following their hunches and get good at it, unlucky people can sometimes limit themselves by only approaching a problem from a strictly rational or calculating perspective. Thus they can have a hard time solving a problem that may require a shift in paradigm.
They create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations.
Similar to the newspaper study, lucky people often facilitate positive outcomes by expecting to find them. This form of expectation creates a self-fulfilling prophecy, the belief that something good will happen helps reinforce behaviors that make the outcome more likely. One example of a self-fulfilling prophecy is the Rosenthal-Jacobson study, where teachers who believed that certain students would perform better in school actually did. It was the belief that helped create that fact. This can happen in similar ways when we have positive expectations in our own life.
They adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.
Lucky people also seem to have an impeccable way of reframing bad events into good ones. In the book Wiseman shares a story where a “Lucky” volunteer fell down a flight of stairs and broke his leg. When asked whether he still felt lucky, the man replied that he felt luckier than ever because he could’ve broken his neck. Lucky people try to see the good in everything; this can have a significant impact on their mental persistence and well-being.
I guess I was wrong earlier to say that luck is completely out of control. As Wiseman clearly demonstrates, there are a number of ways we can facilitate good fortune in our own lives. Wiseman even had some volunteers in his studies go through exercises designed to make them feel more lucky, and 80% reported being happier and more satisfied with their lives. It turns out that luck and optimism are probably attitudes worth having, especially when we aim for success.
You can tell when someone is comfortable in their own skin. It resonates from their character and in everything that persons says and does. A person with healthy self-esteem doesn’t have to boast or show-off their talents and skills, they act with modesty because they rarely feel they have anything to prove. Their sense of gratification is mostly internal, but their external behaviors reveal a bold and confident persona, a person that is equally comfortable with both their strengths and their flaws.
I find myself often attracted to these kinds of people. Not in a sexual way, of course, but in a way that I wish to be more like them. They have an authentic sense of self-worth. They are confident in their abilities and their resilience when things get tough. They are masters of themselves, and as such there is always something new to learn from them and apply to your own life.
Recognizing your own unique value to the world, whatever that may be, can motivate you to exercise your gifts and take pride in your accomplishments. And that pride can be contagious to whoever watches you succeed.
People like people who believe in themselves. We often seek to be more self-dependent just like them, and we find ourselves inspired by the way they carry themselves.
Some of my own inspirations include entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuck, personal development guru Steve Pavlina, writer Ayn Rand, and musician Maynard James Keenan (from the band Tool). These are just a handful of the many personalities in my life who have taken pride in their craft, and in return accomplished things that were later beloved by many. Who has influenced you in your life?
Having a mentor who exhibits this kind of self-worth can help you build strong character for yourself. When you relate to others who overcome struggles and later triumph, you can borrow that energy to help fuel your own endeavors. A recent study in social psychology showed that role models work best during times when we can relate to them. So find yourself a mentor or two, and then find the parallels between their story and yours (I personally try to find inspiration in every success story I hear).
Take this short success story involving Bruce Lee and a friend
(click here for a larger image):
In the story, we see how Bruce Lee’s confidence in himself spills over into his confidence in others. When his friend says, “If I run anymore I am liable to have a heart-attack and die,” Bruce responds, “then die.” He would rather his friend die trying to achieve his maximum potential, then live constantly selling himself short. The friend took this as a challenge and found the power to run the full 5 miles. Lee’s response motivated the friend to do something they previously thought was impossible. By the end of it, the friend walked away feeling like a better person – that’s the effect magnetic self-esteem can have on another person.
Before we can share self-esteem, we have to have it ourselves. And once we do, we can become an endless source of inspiration for others.
One of the key ideas here is that the benefits of self-esteem stretch far greater than our narrow ego – I’ve used words like “magnetic” and contagious” to help illustrate this point.
One area I’ve been trying to build self-esteem in is entrepreneurship and self-employment. You can imagine how much confidence it takes to build a product or service that others will find valuable. If you think you can’t do it, you’ll never finish it, because you’ll always feel you are inadequate or “not good enough.”
Barbara Winter touches on this very concept in her book “Making A Living Without A Job.” She stresses that self-esteem has a consequence on our actions, and that a person with high self-esteem is often more compassionate toward others. Because the esteemed person can already sufficiently take care of their own needs, they can now focus more on the needs of others. Self-esteem thus enables us to work with others more effectively (this is something important to both business and life in general):
-
“While it may be intangible, self esteem is not invisible. It’s easy to spot people who have high self-esteem by their behavior. Chances are that the people you most like being with possess it in abundance. These people are frequently described as ‘gracious’ and ‘thoughtful,’ which makes them desirable as friends.
They love and care of themselves, but they are not arrogant. They have compassion for others, which rises out of their compassion for themselves. Since few of us arrive at a place of healthy self-esteem by accident or birth, these folks may be constantly aware of their own struggle to achieve it – and their ongoing effort to nurture it.
Their curiosity and interest in others lead them them to be excellent listeners, another magnetic quality. In addition, they have an elevated sense of personal responsibility; they rarely blame others for their problems or misfortunes. They may have a passionate desire to contribute to society. Whether they speak it or not, they frequently have a sense of mission in their lives that others lack. Knowing their own worth gives them a profound sense that they are here for some purpose, which, in turn, shows itself in a reverence for life.
Forward-thinking, they are aware that all past experiences in their lives have helped to mold their character. Even when their lives have seemed difficult, you’ll hear them say, “I wouldn’t change a thing.” They have a strong aura of integrity and truthfulness about them, but they are truly sensitive to the feelings of others. People with high self-esteem don’t have the need to say everything that’s on their mind. The bonus you receive for hanging out with these folks is that in their presence you feel safe and accepted just as you are. In fact, when you leave them you may find that you like yourself a bit more.”
I think Winter’s is right. People who have authentic self-esteem build stronger relationships with others. They don’t view everyone as a threat, so they are willing to help people instead of break them down. When we are confident enough in our own abilities, we are comfortable helping others build their own strengths and overcome their own weaknesses, without worrying that we are making ourselves look worse. That’s a very enchanting quality to have.
People like people who make them feel good about themselves. If being with a person inspires you to be a better person, by most accounts you will want to keep them as a worthy friend. So I think it is important to remember that self-esteem is not only something that is good for ourselves, but also something good for society at large. We should all strive to feel more comfortable in our own skin.
Join my newsletter for more!