Social anxiety often stems from a fear of disapproval. Not just from bosses, but also from coworkers, customers, or anyone else that we may need to interact with.

This fear of disapproval can be so strong that we may avoid these situations entirely.

Research has shown that people with social anxiety are more likely to take off from work (for example, calling in sick even when they aren’t really sick). They also have higher unemployment rates and are more likely to settle for lower incomes.

Last month the unemployment rate in the U.S. held steady at 9.1%. I wonder how many of those people are unemployed because they are too afraid to step out of their comfort zone and find a job? These psychological causes can often be underrepresented in economic data.

I believe self-esteem is incredibly important to a healthy economy and healthy workers.

People need to feel confident in themselves if they are willing to try new jobs, interact with new people, and adapt to new work environments.

A person with social anxiety will often have difficulties in these areas of life. Their fear of disapproval is often rooted in the belief that they are inadequate. Instead of being judged negatively, they would rather not try at all.

This becomes a vicious cycle. Socially anxious people avoid social situations because they fear rejection from others, but by acting in this way they essentially reject themselves.

If you are socially anxious and it’s affecting you from finding a job, here are some tips:

• Remember that most people aren’t judging you. Most of the time people are too concerned with themselves than to be busy judging you. So don’t be too anxious about other people’s thoughts – there’s a good chance they aren’t about you.
• Don’t expect to please everyone. We all have our fair share of differences, and it’s unrealistic to expect us all to get along perfectly. Accept the fact that you’re going to mix better with some people over others and don’t feel obligated to win everyone over.
• Reflect on your positive traits. Focusing on your strengths can be very important in building self-esteem and overcoming social anxiety. We can overcome many insecurities by recognizing skills and talents that distinguish us positively from others. I believe everyone can discover something positive in themselves if they do some honest self-reflection. Try to make a list of 5-7 of your strengths.
• Gradually expose yourself to social situations. If you’ve been unemployed for awhile, you may feel extremely uncomfortable just jumping right into a new job. Try slowly exposing yourself to social situations again by volunteering a couple times a week. This is just one way to hone your social skills outside of a job – it can also be something positive to put on your resume.
• Learn to fail forward. Failure is often unavoidable. You aren’t going to nail every job interview. And you aren’t going to get every raise. The goal isn’t to avoid failure, but learn how to take these failures, learn from them, and persist forward. Use them as a source of motivation, not something that makes you quit.

These are some key tips for overcoming social anxiety. For more information check out The Shyness and Social Anxiety System.

I object to this perspective.

I think a healthy workplace depends on our ability to feel more in control. And while some jobs don’t permit us with a lot of freedoms, there are always a few key things we can do to make our work environment more bearable and less stressful.

So let’s get straight to some of the things you can do.

Ease tension with coworkers and bosses.

Relationships can make or break a work environment. When people don’t get along and don’t know how to communicate effectively, there is a lingering tension in the office that can ruin everyone’s day.

We dread walking into the office, not because we don’t like what we do, but because we have to deal with an assortment of jerk-offs, bullies, whiners, and other vampires who suck up any positive energy in the room. Every office has them.

So what can we do? First, you have to learn how to let a lot of this negative energy just roll off your shoulders. The more you respond to negative energy in a negative way, the more you are contributing to the problem. Trying to reframe some of the negative aspects of work in a humorous or joyful way is often very effective for breaking the cycle of negativity in your work environment.

When someone makes a sly remark to you, just nod your head and smile. When someone gives you an order in a condescending tone, just imagine that person with a baby face talking in a really high-pitched voice. When someone starts a heated argument with you, know how to defuse it as soon as possible (whether that means cracking a joke or politely walking out of the room).

No, you won’t get along with everyone, but there will always be some people who you hit it off with better than others. Build solid relationships with these people. Get to know them better. Have lunch with them. Share interesting stories. Vent about work to each other. Having a work buddy (or two, or three) can really help you get through those tough days.

Also, if you have a bad past with some coworkers, try to fix them. You can try to patch things up with them, apologize for your mistakes, and start again on the right foot. Or – if they are truly that unbearable – try to deal with them on strictly business terms and minimize any excess interaction.

If you can, consider avoiding some vampires entirely. Some people you just can’t get along with no matter how hard you try. It’s very likely your work environment has one or two of these people. Recognize those boundaries. Sure, it’s not the ideal situation to be in, but it’s better than feeding into a destructive relationship and making it grow worse. If avoiding these people means moving to another office or part of the company, consider bringing up your concerns to management.

Make your office come alive.

Despite spending most of our work hours cramped in our office, we often spend very little time keeping it fresh and stimulating. The truth is that our surroundings, even when not consciously noticed, can have a huge effect on our mood and well-being. For example, studies have shown that the presence of plants in the workplace help boost people’s moods and increase cognitive functioning.

Another study has shown that when workers have more control over the design of their workplace, this improves their happiness, productivity, and even health.

Often when working for large companies we can lose a sense of our personal identity. Your office is usually the one place you are allowed to express yourself. Create a work environment that works for you. Something that reflects some of your own values and interests. And something that motivates and inspires you.

If this means changing your office around every few months or so – do it. Keep things interesting. Make your work environment stimulating (but not too distracting).

Have healthy snacks around.

A lot of people get so focused on their work that they sometimes forget to eat. Or they have so much to get done, that they have to skip lunch to make sure they meet their deadline.

I’m a strong believer that we need to stay healthy and nourished if we want to be effective at our jobs. Ignoring our bodies, and focusing all our energy on our work, is going to drain you and hurt your work ethic.

No matter what kind of work you do, your body and brain need fuel to do it. This means drinking water and having healthy snacks between meals to keep your body replenished. The less you take care of your body, the more it’s going to affect your work.

A fatigued body and mind can’t possibly work to it’s fullest potential, so keep yourself hydrated and nourished as often as possible.

This rule is actually pretty simple and easy to follow. Re-stock your office with healthy snacks every Monday: grapes, nuts, water, cheese and crackers, tuna, eggs, etc. If you have the choice, I recommend storing this stuff in a personal office vs. the company kitchen. This just makes it easier to access food when you are in the middle of work (and it prevents other coworkers from taking your stuff).

Identify the purpose of what you do.

I don’t expect everyone to romanticize the importance of their job. It’s true that not everyone has a career that really resonates with them deep-down. I respect that. But I also think most jobs serve an important function in our society. And when you recognize that you are an important part of what keeps society going, you sometimes find a new sense of purpose and pride about the things you do.

Ever seen the documentary The Philosopher Kings? It’s an interesting portrayal of some custodial workers at major universities (Duke, Princeton, U.C. Berkely, etc.) who are really passionate about their job. Now normally a custodial worker may not be a very revered job, but these workers clearly had a fire in their souls for what they did. They cared about where they worked and how it looked, and they recognized the importance of their job.

We could all learn something from these custodians. No matter what type of work you do, it plays an important role in our society. Sometimes you just need to look at the “bigger picture” of your actions, and how it fits into the grand scheme of things.

Question:

Perhaps that is why, throughout my short 22 years, I have only seen a handful of people who are actually enthusiastic when they have to go to work.

I always wondered as a kid if I would be one of those rare enthusiastic people or instead if I’d be one of those people who constantly complains about their job without ever doing anything to change it.

The problem that I’ve noticed is that people have begun to expect that their jobs are supposed to suck. It’s become an attitude that has been conditioned into our society, and I believe it needs to be fixed. I often see people openly accept their misery and justify it by saying things like:

• A job’s a job.
• Whatever helps pay the bills.
• I’m supposed to work hard and follow the rules.
• Life’s a bitch.
• Etc…

The problem with this kind of language is that we begin to welcome miserable jobs into our life because we think that’s the norm. And when we think we are supposed to hate our jobs then we often settle for a job we hate. Go figure…

I decided before I ever graduated high school that I wasn’t going to fall victim to this attitude. And I knew before I ever started blogging that I was going to find ways to make a living doing things that I was passionate about and actually cared for.

The Zero Hour Workweek
Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.

The definition of “work” is a matter of perspective. If you love what you do, and you are intrinsically motivated to do your work, then it’s really no different than being dedicated to having fun or enjoying life.

If you’re a baseball player who loves playing baseball everyday, is that really comparable to what we usually mean when we say “job?” No, yet it is a job, and baseball players often get paid exorbitant salaries to do what they love.

What if you’re a musician who loves making music? Or a teacher who loves teaching? Or a doctor who loves taking care of his or her patients?

Everyone has a slightly different path, but if you do what you love, then it’s a lot less likely to feel like “work,” and a helluva lot more likely to feel like something that actually motivates you and makes you happy in the long-term.

In Jonathan Mead’s free life-changing guide, The Zero Hour Workweek, he describes this same attitude and why it is so important to a fulfilling job or career. He then gives you a step-by-step process on how to discover what makes you passionate and begin channeling that passion in productive ways. In it he shares a great quote by author James A. Michener that I believe really hits at the heart of the matter:

“The master in the art of living
draws no sharp distinction between
his labor and his leisure,
his mind and his body,
his work and his play,
his education and his recreation.

He hardly knows which is which.

He simply pursues his vision of excellence
through whatever he is doing
and leaves others to determine
whether his is working or playing.

To himself, he is always doing both.”

- James A. Michener

Re-defining Work
I’m not working I’m…playing, exploring, and creating.

I think if we want to be “productive” but still live a satisfying life then we need to re-define what we usually think of as work. There is nothing inherent in the definition that says we can’t have fun or that we can’t enjoy ourselves while doing it.

In previous posts I have advocated that we blur the line between work and play, by doing things like:

• Discovering productive activities that align with our core values.
• Focusing on aspects of our work that we enjoy.
• Trying to see the bigger picture of our actions.
• Making a game out of certain aspects of work we may not enjoy as much.
• Working with friends and like-minded people.
• Taking frequent breaks and leisure-time to avoid work overload.
• Being intrinsically motivated to push boundaries and be more creative.
• Etc…

If you have a job that doesn’t allow you to fulfill these kinds of requirements, then you may want to start making a change (not all at once, but at least in small doses). At least start looking for better alternatives, as I see no point in spending 40+ years at a job you absolutely can’t stand. None at all. That is simply too much time being wasted. You’re better than that.

The best part about Jonathan Mead’s The Zero Hour Workweek (besides the fact that it is free) is that it begins to give you a detailed view on some of the things you can start doing to build a venture that aligns with your interests, values, and passions.

Keep in mind, making any change is going to be difficult. For the time being, you may be dependent on your old ways, your old job, and your old way of viewing the world. This isn’t a shift that is going to happen overnight, but it’s a shift that may be worth making in the long-run. You shouldn’t ever stop fighting for your values, whatever they may be, so take advantage of this one shot you have at life while you’re still here.

Questions

1) Are you happy with your job right now?

2) If not, what do you imagine that you’d rather be doing?

3) In general, what activities in life are you most passionate about?

Please use the comment section and share your answers and thoughts!

2. Organize your desk and home workspace.

3. Practice mock interviews.

4. Check out local listings at craigslist or in your local newspaper.

5. Set a new budget.

6. File for unemployment benefits.

7. Follow the news. This will provide you with fuel for conversation.

8. Consider further education. Take college courses or pursue a Masters or PhD.

9. Ask family, friends, and past employers for possible job openings.

10. Walk outside and see which local businesses are hiring.

11. Get a makeover. Sometimes nicer clothes or a new haircut can help leave a better impression in your interviews.

12. Find some odd-and-end jobs around town (mowing lawns, cleaning houses, walking dogs, baby sitting, having a bake sale, etc.)

13. Have a garage sale or sell stuff you don’t need on Ebay or Amazon.

14. Consider a career change.

15. Make a blog as a stepping stone or portfolio for your work.

16. If you can afford it, go on vacation.

17. Consider moving to a place where there are more jobs.

18. Volunteering. You can put it on your resume and it shows character.

19. Upload your resume to Monster.com, SnagAJob.com, or CareerBuilder.

20. Consider starting your own business, but be prepared to put in the time and work.

21. Exercise more. It’ll make you feel better and more confident.

22. Learn a new language. Being bilingual is helpful in most economies.

23. Get a non-paid internship to gain more experience.

24. Rent out a room in your apartment/house for extra cash.

25. Cut out coupons for groceries and clothes.

26. Review your insurance bills and see if you can switch to cheaper companies.

27. Shop at discount stores.

28. Cook for yourself. It’s cheaper.

29. Pursue new hobbies and interests.

30. Read about topics you enjoy.

31. Maintain a positive attitude and a healthy self-esteem.

32. Check out your local food banks.

33. Have your children look for employment if they are old enough (to help out).

34. Look for local job fairs.

35. Take a workshop and learn a new skill.

36. Go to your local library. According to The Economist, 70% help you with filling out applications, writing resumes, and finding jobs.

37. See doctors and dentists before your health insurance runs out.

38. Network with people on Facebook or LinkedIn.

39. Limit time watching TV or playing video games.

40. Look for cheaper alternatives for your phone bill, cable, gas.

41. Spend more time with your family. It won’t lead to a job, but it is one of the more quality ways to spend your off-time.

42. Become your own manager or agent. Saying that you are the agent for so-and-so (during phone conversations) will give you a professional edge in some industries.

43. Pursue an art. This adds diversity to character and improves creativity.

44. Put yourself in the employer’s shoes. Ask “How can I add value to this company?”

45. Quit smoking. It improves your hygiene, it makes your teeth whiter, and you will smell better.

46. Find entry level jobs and aim to work your way up.

47. Maintain a healthy sleep schedule of 7-10 hours a night.

48. Donate plasma. Some plasma banks offer $35 a pint, and you can donate twice a week.

49. Cancel your internet and leech on public places with free wi-fi (Starbucks, public libraries, etc.)

50. Grow a fruit and vegetable garden to cut down on food expenses.

Bonus: When all else fails, find a wealthy boyfriend/girlfriend (who you love…not to be a gold digger, of course).

• United States Department of Labor
• How To Write A Masterpiece of a Resume
• Cover Letter FAQ and the Competitive Edge in the Job Market
• What Makes A Great Cover Letter, According to Companies?
• Free Job Search E-books
• Resume Templates for Microsoft Office (don’t choose anything too flashy)
• How To Make An Impression With Your Resume in 30 Seconds
• Ten Tips for a (Slightly) Less Awful Resume

The article mentions author Dr. Joe Allen, who says today’s children aren’t growing up because adults simply don’t let them. In his troubling book Escaping the Endless Adolescence, he shows how modern culture has shun children away from real life.

Long ago we as a society decided that children should be in school for at least 13 years before they can display any sense of competency in the world. Allen writes:

“We place kids in schools together with hundreds, sometimes thousands, of other kids typically from similar economic and cultural backgrounds. We group them all within a year or so of one another in age. We equip them with similar gadgets, expose them to the same TV shows, lessons, and sports. We ask them all to take almost the exact same courses and do the exact same work and be graded relative to one another. We give them only a handful of ways in which they can meaningfully demonstrate their competencies. And then we’re surprised they have some difficulty establishing a sense of their own individuality.”

I think Allen would agree with me that modern society has reinforced a culture of dependency. Nowadays we look around and see child-minded young adults in their early 20s, early 30s; in fact, some don’t ever seem to grow up.

Some of the most common excuses we hear are that “teenager’s brains aren’t developed enough,” or “our world is more complex now, so we need more education.” While it may be true that teenager’s brains aren’t fully developed or that our world is more complex, what better way to learn than to step outside of the classroom and embrace this complex world head first (especially while our brains are most ready to learn).

As I mentioned before, many of my posts on this blog already address these issues and draw upon my own personal battles with formal education. In many ways this blog is a reaction to that whole culture. However, I want to hear your guys opinions:

• What are your experiences with the current education system?
• Can you name any particular instances where you felt your individuality was being suppressed?
• If you could, how would you reform education in today’s society?

I also encourage discussion of this post over at Evolver.net.