You’re not the only one. I’ve felt it too. And the existentialist philosopher Søren Kierkegaard identified a similar experience in his work The Concept of Anxiety.

He explained that the mere fact that we have the choice to throw ourselves over and make such a life-changing decision creates a deep feeling of anxiety. He called this the “dizziness of freedom.”

My Experience with “Existential Anxiety.”

Every morning and night for the past couples of weeks I’ve went up to the roof of my 24 story apartment and looked down on the Williamsburg bridge and New York City skyline.

It’s a beautiful, calm, and empowering view. From up there, I’m a giant, and everything below me is like a colony of ants. Here’s a picture I snapped with my phone to try and capture it’s magnificence:

When I peek over the railing I see just how far down the fall would be. It’s enormous. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I feel that impulse to throw myself off.

The impulse isn’t driven by a desire to kill myself, instead it is driven by the recognition that I have the capacity to make very powerful decisions. It’s a metaphor of the millions of other decisions that I make everyday which greatly impact the course of my life.

Kierkegaard and Existential Anxiety

As I mentioned in the introduction, this experience is remarkably similar to what the 19th century existentialist philosopher Søren Kierkegaard once described in The Concept of Anxiety.

He uses the example of a man standing on the edge of a tall building or cliff. When the man looks over the edge, he experiences a focused fear of falling, but at the same time, the man feels a terrifying impulse to throw himself intentionally off the edge.

That experience is anxiety because of our complete freedom to choose to either throw oneself off or to stay put. The mere fact that one has the possibility and freedom to do something, even the most terrifying of possibilities, triggers immense feelings of anxiety. Kierkegaard called this our “dizziness of freedom.”

I believe that everyone experiences this “dizziness of freedom” to varying degrees. And the anxiety is rooted in the power we each have as conscious beings to make truly life-changing decisions.

So what about you? Have you ever tasted your own “dizziness of freedom?” What was it like? Did it frighten you, empower you, or was it a little bit of both? Feel free to share your thoughts and feelings in the comments section below.

Maybe you read “revolt against money” and immediately thought, “Hell yeah – let’s do this! Money is evil, and we need to get rid of it – it’s ruining people’s lives.”

Or maybe you read the headline and thought, “Revolt against money? That’s ridiculous – money is what makes the world go ’round! We need money to survive.”

There’s no doubt about it – people have very strong beliefs about money.

I’m no different.

And throughout my meanderings into the blogosphere, I come across many different opinions about wealth and money.

• Some sites about money are scams, playing on people’s desires, promising you fast, easy, and effortless cash.
• Some sites about money just criticize those who try to make an extra buck writing e-books or doing coaching.
• Some sites about money proclaim the virtues of minimalism and relinquishing our desires for material possessions.
• Some sites about money proclaim the virtues of consumerism and the luxurious lifestyle.

I believe all of these extremes can reflect unhealthy beliefs about money. Rarely do I find a perspective that seems properly balanced (but I’m sure they exist…somewhere).

And I’ve written about these concerns before. In my post Money on My Mind: Tips for Financial Wellness I cite a declaration made by certain psychologists saying that our attitude about money is an often neglected factor to our happiness and mental health.

There are people at both extremes: those who worship money, and those who run away from it.

Of course, not everyone is at one of these two extremes, but from my personal experience many people unhealthily favor one side over the other. Here are some ideas I have to help cultivate a more balanced viewpoint that I find is more sensible and practical.

Money isn’t everything – no #$%!

One of the most common criticisms against money is that it “isn’t everything.” This is so glaringly evident to me that I wish I (and many others) didn’t feel the need to always say it (yet, here I am writing about it).

Yes, money isn’t everything. But that doesn’t automatically mean it has no value. My legs aren’t everything, but if I had the choice to have legs vs. not have legs – I would damn sure choose the legs!

In the real world, people are the same way with money. Most people when presented the choice to have more money vs. less money (all things being equal) will choose to have more money. Why is this?

Money can fulfill some of your values.

Okay, money can’t by itself buy you love or happiness, but it can fulfill some values in your life and other people’s lives.

At the very least, we understand that money is often necessary to provide food, shelter, and clothing – basic necessities. Let’s get that point out of the way – it’s moot.

Regardless of how much our basic needs are already satisfied, people will almost always choose to have “more money” over “less money” (all things, time and work, being equal). This is because money continues to satisfy values for us even when our basic needs are already met.

Yes, I get it – now that we have more money we can buy a new Xbox, or iPod, or Corvette – but that’s not the kind of value I’m talking about either.

Wanting more money doesn’t have to be a purely selfish thing. Money can be used to help others. You can donate to charities, organize a community event, invent something, fund scientific research, start a business, lend to a friend, or buy something from a local business and help your city’s economy, etc.

Money is just a tool that facilitates an exchange in value, but it is up to you to define the values in life that you want to support.

So one individual having more money than someone else can still be a net gain for all of society – it all depends on how that money was spent or invested.

I’ve said it before on this blog that I have very clear plans for making money throughout my life. Not just through this site (which I am currently in the process of monetizing), but through many different endeavors that I hope provide value to others.

And once I have money and I’m comfortable, I don’t just plan on splurging my earnings all on myself. I want to be a philanthropist. I want to be very active with charities and volunteer work, because I think those kinds of activities fulfill the deepest values for me (but they are values that are not OUTSIDE the context of “money” – money helps make those other values happen).

Why you shouldn’t get upset when your favorite blogger starts selling a product.

I mentioned earlier how I’ve been meandering through the blogosphere. I came across two posts within the past 24 hours that really irked me. I’m not going to bother linking to either one, but both basically said how online writers and bloggers who try to make money off their sites are doing a disservice to society.

Information and words, I am told, should always be free.

This poses a problem in my opinion.

If you enjoy a blogger, and you are educated and inspired by their writings, why wouldn’t you want them to be able to make a living doing that? Why would you subject them to have to also maintain a day job on the side, which only detracts that person from devoting more time doing something you you enjoy and receive benefits from.

I think the root of that “shouldn’t make money!” attitude is destructive. Not just to the person who wants to make a profit, but also to the people who enjoy the work and service they receive from that individual.

Keep in mind, in any voluntary marketplace, online or offline, you don’t have to buy anything you don’t want. No one is forcing you to buy their e-book, or their webinar, or their coaching. But if other people want to pay money to receive these things (if they perceive them as “valuable” enough to spend money on), then who are you to call the exchange illegitimate or evil or immoral.

This doesn’t mean there should be a price on everything.

Look, I’ve made it clear that I have intentions for making money on this site. I’m very open about that to anyone who asks me. But that doesn’t mean that everything I do here is solely driven by a profit motive. I genuinely enjoy writing about the things I do and interacting with like-minded people. I would still write about these things even if I wasn’t making money (although I definitely wouldn’t be writing about them as often).

If there is any proof of my dedication, it is the fact that I’ve written over 300 articles on this site and I’ve never charged anyone a single cent to read any of them. I don’t believe that everything needs to have a price-tag. And from my own research and experience, I’m actually discovering that giving away value (with no strings attached) is actually a great business model in the long-term.

I think – as a general trend – most businesses (especially online) have the incentive to offer the most value to their audience at the lowest and most reasonable price. In the end, I see these exchanges as a win-win for all parties involved.

I just wanted to get that off my chest.

I just wanted to get these things off my chest. I know I’ve written about some of these ideas in the past, but I’ve seen a lot of criticism lately and I wanted to clarify my point-of-view one more time (although it probably won’t be the last).

No, I don’t have an affiliate link to share with you, a product to sell, or even a link to my newsletter in this post.

I just wanted to voice my opinion – and you listening is all the value I needed in return. I appreciate it.

Questions.

• What are some of your beliefs about money?
• Do you think money is a net gain or net loss for society?
• Are some of your beliefs about money affecting your own career choices and spending habits?

Please leave a comment below!

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Yet I remain stuck in them.

Even while knowing they are wrong and ineffective, I keep doing them. Repeating them. Again and again. And each time the pain and suffering comes back. And I say to myself, “Okay, that’s the last time. Fuck that. Never again. I’ve learned my lesson now.”

But, for some odd reason, I do it again. And again. I act as if I enjoy the pain, even though I know I really don’t. I act impulsively. Automatically. Like a programmed robot with no sense of choice.

These patterns in my life seem to be really sticky. They are deeply rooted. I’ve thought of countless ways I can try to correct them, but my efforts have so far remained fruitless. It is almost as if there is another part of me that I can’t change. And perhaps there is.

But that’s not going to stop me from trying. Not yet at least. Maybe I need to dig deeper. Maybe I need to ask myself better questions. Maybe I need a new perspective. Maybe I just need to be more patient. Maybe I just need more experience. Maybe I need to “just do it” and habituate myself to failure until it means nothing anymore.

If there is a solution, then I know that it’s going to take some time, effort, and dedication. I’m well aware of the myth of overnight success, and as a 22 year old I don’t expect to have everything work out my way all of a sudden.

Upon reflection, I’ve noticed that there are some things I need to consider about these “old ways” (ways that seem so persistent throughout my life), and how these relate to personal development more broadly.

I can only focus on one major change at a time.

Not only can I not change everything overnight, but I also can’t change multiple things all at the same time. Making a conscious change in your life takes up physical and mental resources. The more resources you allocate to one conscious endeavor, the less you can allocate to another.

Trying to change everything all at once is only going to spread your resources too thin – and then nothing will get accomplished. Therefore, it is important to focus on only major change at a time.

We are multi-faceted beings. Therefore, simple solutions (while desirable) aren’t always the correct ones. Occam’s razor says, “Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.”

It’s good not to over-complicate our problems, but at the same time we can’t ignore the details of our plights if we truly want to get to the root of them. If we think too simply, then we won’t develop the proper focus to overcome our bad habits.

The truth is our life can be broken down into many different components:

• Health
• Relationships
• Career
• Finances
• Education
• Psychology
• Religion/spirituality

Sure, they are all intertwined and interrelated. For example, working on your health may increase your confidence and self-esteem, and that can then spill over into your relationships and career. But it is important that you don’t try to conquer the whole world all at once.

If you are the kind of person who has never went to the gym on a regular basis, then you should really just focus on that for your first 2-5 weeks until it becomes a more common habit. Once that becomes more second-nature and automatic, then you can shift your consciousness to other aspects of your life that you want to adjust. This basic rule applies to any kind of habit change.

The point is that you go step-by-step, building yourself bolt-by-bolt, and not trying to transform yourself in one desperate swoop.

Again, these things take time, effort, and dedication. Personal development is an ongoing process with no clear beginning or end. Often you just have to take life one step at a time, because any other way will just get you flustered and frustrated.

LESSON: Some aspects of my life have been relatively “stagnant,” because I’ve been busy focusing on other aspects of my growth.

This is one reason I am still stuck in some old ways.

However, I can try to better overcome these old ways by focusing on them on a 1 to 1 basis. It’s OK to put some goals on the back-burner while I work on others, because working on them all at once would spread my physical and mental resources too thin.

I’m addicted to certainty and familiarity.

Certainty and familiarity are powerful forces. And even when I’m focused and I have a clear idea on what the right thing to do is, I often still snap back to old habits because they are already built so strongly into my brain’s wiring.

Familiarity gives us a sense of security. I repeat the same old patterns because I know ahead of time what will happen. The same can’t be said for new patterns, where the results I get may be more unpredictable.

The problem is that these old patterns become “just good enough” – and trying something different (even if it may be better) can have short-term costs and growth pains that we aren’t willing to pay for.

But if I want to change something, I have to be willing to pay those short-term costs. That means embracing uncertainty and the occasional pain and failure. I can’t expect to dive into something new and hit a home-run right away. Rarely do things work that way.

Facing uncertainty and fear is required for any kind of personal change. It is precisely when we face these fears that we learn something about ourselves that we hadn’t known before. And it is only after we get that new-found knowledge about ourselves that we are able to make the appropriate changes to our life. We experiment, we push boundaries, and we end up with a more expanded view of ourselves then one we had previously. But to discover these new boundaries we need to be willing to step outside of our “comfort zone” of security and familiarity.

LESSON: Any type of personal change is going to be met with resistance. But instead of allowing this resistance to inhibit my growth, I will embrace fear and uncertainty as a sign that I am expanding and testing my boundaries.

A deep part of me identifies with those old patterns.

Sometimes I look back on these old habits and think this is just who I am. Then I remember that I am always changing whether I take conscious control over this change or not.

When I say “this is just who I am,” I’m really just reinforcing old habits by deciding to identify with them, and therefore I continue doing them. In many ways, I am giving myself permission to repeat the same mistakes.

But, looking more closely, who I was 10 years ago was a remarkably different person than who I am today. And who I am today will be remarkably different than who I will become 10 years into the future. When I learn to embrace this dynamic and changing self I find it easier to drop older habits and adopt newer ones. Change is natural, and self-change becomes a constantly unfolding process.

Some people however choose to cling to these old patterns not just because they fear something different, but because they think these old patterns are their “authentic self.”

I believe that to accept our “authentic selves” is to accept our nature as beings who are in a constant state of flux. The belief in a static self is illusory. But it has consequences. When we cling to these old ways, we suffer. When we can’t let go of our past selves, we never learn or adapt. And when we fight the changes that we really want to make, we unintentionally inhibit ourselves from happiness.

Letting go of past beliefs and habits is tough. There’s no denying that. It requires that we begin to see ourselves in a different light. However, many of us become too stubborn to let go of our old identities. For some odd reason, we want to change the world so that it fits our view, but we don’t want to change ourselves in the process.

It doesn’t work that way.

LESSON:We need to let go of old beliefs and habits that no longer serve our interests. It doesn’t have to mean that we are being inauthentic or changing our “core self,” it means we are taking conscious control over who we really are and how we live our lives.

Questions

1) Have you ever tried to make a change but you were met with unbearable resistance? If so, what do you think was the biggest contributor to this resistance?

Please use the comment section and share your answers and thoughts!

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This is why you should view your personal development as a “practice-based philosophy.” The very nature of the subject “personal development” requires that you are capable of putting your values, beliefs, and ideas into action. Action is the primary requirement. Without action, you’re in a place of personal stagnation.

Have you ever heard of a “keyboard jockey?” A keyboard jockey is an individual who spends more time typing on their computers about how to do something than actually practicing it in the real world. It’s a term that first became popular in the Pick-Up Artist (PUA) community.

Whether or not you agree with PUAs, they were right on this one. They understood that in order to learn something, or get better at it, you need to go out into the “field” and practice it.

Michael Jordan didn’t become a professional basketball player by reading books about basketball. Gary Vaynerchuk didn’t become a Wine expert by reading books about wine. And Style didn’t become a Pick-Up Artist by reading books about seduction.

Nothing can replace practice and personal experience.

So what happens when we don’t practice and just theorize?

Paralysis by Analysis

In effect, we begin to think about a situation so much that we actually inhibit ourselves from ever taking action. We get an idea for a new business, then the very next day we think of 2 or 3 other possibilities. Eventually, our list keeps piling up, but we never follow through on any of them.

Paralysis by analysis is especially prevalent in today’s world because we have so many damn choices. There are so many different foods to eat, girls to date, careers to choose, places to see, music to listen to, etc. Sometimes there are so many possibilities that we don’t know where to start. So we just do nothing. We become so overwhelmed by the amount of choices we have that we’d rather not make a decision. Perhaps it’s because the “opportunity cost” of missing out on all those decisions is too much for us to bare.

The more we ruminate on our options, the more likely we are to suffer paralysis by analysis. This is one very obvious way that too much theorizing can greatly inhibit our personal development.

Goals become more clear and vivid when we begin working toward them.

Often we don’t really know what we want (let alone how to get it) until we get a taste of it. This is why experimenting with new experiences can be so beneficial. Sure, we may have some rough moments along the way, but that will just give us an even better idea on what we want and don’t want out of life.

Sometimes it’s better to let the bad things happen rather than keep theorizing and worrying about them inside your head. You may find:

• It wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be.
• You gain experience and learn from it in a way you never could just by thinking about it.
• You build resilience – “what doesn’t kill you often makes you stronger.”
• You develop a deeper understanding of your preferences and values.

Now, I’m not saying we should act recklessly without any sense of caution, but I do think that often the things we worry about are more harmless than we make them out to be.

Beliefs Should Be Practical and Flexible.

Sure, it may be fun to think about all these unknowns, and it may even make us more critical thinkers, but if these questions begin taking up too much energy and time, then it is probably best to re-focus on more practical matters. Focus on the ideas that bring you results and ignore abstract matters which are often inconsequential.

I recall the earlier years of my conscious pursuit for personal development. I began to become really infatuated with Buddhism, eastern philosophy, enlightenment, and seeking an “absolute truth” about the nature of reality and consciousness.

I would go to my universities libraries and take out books on all kinds of stuff, not excluding astral projections, the afterlife, paranormal activity, philosophy of mind, etc. It was a long and tiresome journey, and nothing very fruitful came out of it. I eventually had to abandon the pursuit, accepting the fact that there are some things I don’t know and can’t know, and those things aren’t worth obsessing over.

Since then it feels as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Being able to accept that you “don’t know and can’t know” everything is one of the most liberating feelings in the world.

It’s also the best reason to keep your beliefs flexible. It would be pretty presumptuous to think you can discover (and settle) for a few beliefs and principles and live your whole life in accordance to them. The universe is way too complex and humans are all too fallible for us to base all of our decision-making on a few static principles.

That’s not to say we should abandon all principles and values, only that it is important not to be bounded by them when they no longer apply. That is the big idea behind being ground in practicality vs. being grounded in theory.

You may make it a general principle “not to kill others,” but if you find yourself in a situation where someone was attacking you, then you may be willing to kill them in self-defense. In the same way, there are situations I may not even be able to imagine where I may need to compromise, adjust, or abandon certain values depending on the circumstances.

I want to finish by saying I believe choosing practice over theory also opens us up to more possibilities and more freedoms. Being completely fixed on our principles makes us stubborn and narrow-minded. But giving ourselves the flexibility and freedom to adapt to our surroundings allows us to navigate throughout life much more effectively.

Imagine a tree in wind:

The more hard and rigid it stands, the more likely it will break when met with wind or resistance.

The more flexible it is, the more it will bend with the wind or resistance, not break, and persist another day.

The same is true for our beliefs. When we remain firm and stubborn, we are more likely to fight resistance and hurt ourselves. But when we allow ourselves the freedom to be flexible, we can more easily bend (or adapt) to the resistance.

Moral of the story: Don’t cling to superficial beliefs, but practicality – swallow your ego and do what works.

Questions: (answer in the comment section below!)

• Have you ever been so fixated on your beliefs that it later back-fired on you?
• Describe a time when you had to compromise your beliefs in order to be more practical?