Lesson #6: Reframing Negative Beliefs

This is because your beliefs about yourself play a huge role in how you think, feel, and act on a daily basis.

If you believe you’re inherently stupid, or mean, or unlikable – at the core of your being – you’re going to continue acting out in ways that make those things become true.

In psychology, this is commonly known as a self-fulfilling belief.

It shows us how certain beliefs can influence our actions in a way that makes those beliefs actually come true. It’s basically a feedback loop between beliefs → behaviors → outcomes.

One important tool in building more confidence is having the ability to reframe your beliefs about yourself.

Happy and successful people are natural “reframers.” They are able to take bad situations, see them through new eyes, and find some type of good in it that keeps them moving forward in life.

But please remember, reframing isn’t about ignoring or changing the facts. It’s about finding a new interpretation of them that is more constructive, healthy, and motivating.

Ultimately, reframing is an antidote to “black vs. white thinking,” which is often a major underlying factor behind stress, anxiety, and depression.

It permits us to see the grey areas of reality. It teaches us that things aren’t always so simple as “good” vs. “bad” or “right vs. “wrong.” There can often be “good” and “bad” to be found in every situation, especially if we zoom out and see the bigger picture.

Even a very negative event in our lives can be a birthplace for something positive and constructive – if we can look at it the right way and find a good way to respond to it. A victim of domestic abuse may use their experiences to raise awareness and educate future generations. They will save future lives – they will turn their negative experience into a net positive. That’s powerful.

The goal of reframing is to change destructive beliefs → constructive beliefs. By this, I simply mean finding beliefs that motivate and support you to do better in life, rather than work against you and become your own worst enemy.

We’ll explore more about “reframing” in the exercises below.

Week #6: Homework and Exercises

1. Create a new document titled “Reframing Beliefs.”

This will be a new item to add to your “Social Transformation” folder where we’ve been saving your progress.

2. Write down 3 beliefs you have about yourself that you consider to be “negative” or “unhelpful.” Then, try to look at them from a new perspective and reframe them into a more positive belief.

Make it out in the form of “Negative Belief” → “Positive Belief.”

For example:

A) “I’m really stupid.” → “I’m aware of my mistakes.”

B) “Nobody likes me.” → “People need to get to know me before they like me.”

C) “I’m a failure.” → “My failures help me learn and grow.”

D) “I don’t think I can make it through this.” → “If I make it through this, I can make it through anything.”

E) “I suck at math.” → “Sucking is the first step toward being awesome.”

These are just a few examples, but I really want you to take the time to think of your own.

The basic idea is to spin your thought into something more uplifting and positive. Or funny. Train your mind to look at a situation from a different perspective. That’s all that “reframing” is.

This is great document to continue building on over time, especially if you notice other negative beliefs sticking in your mind. Don’t hesitate to go back to this exercise over the week and continue adding to it.

You can also always go back and do multiple reframes for the same belief. Often times, there’s never one single way to reframe a belief. Having multiple reframes will give you more flexibility in thinking.

3. Choose 2 affirmations and 1 reframe. Repeat them out-loud to yourself 5 times each.

Have you been doing your affirmations? A lot of your reframes will serve as good affirmations too.

4. Wear a rubber band or bracelet on your wrist for one day, switch sides whenever you find yourself saying or thinking something negative.

This is a nice exercise to become more aware of your “negative thinking.”

Often times we can go through our day never even noticing just how negative we can be in our thoughts and speech. This will help you monitor your thinking more throughout the day.

You can also practice reframing these negative thoughts in the moment. Just step back for a second and ask yourself, “What is a better way to express this thought?”

The goal is to eventually have “reframing” become something that happens naturally for you. But it’s going to take some conscious practice!

5. Wow, you’ve completed the lesson. You’re awesome!