inner voice


A fun trick to better manage your negative thinking is to create a unique name for your negative inner voice to help distance yourself from those thoughts.


One of the most fundamental facts to understand about your mind is: you are not your thoughts.

Often we identify very strongly with what we think and everything our inner voice says to us. We hear a whisper in the back of our minds saying, “You’re not good enough,” “You don’t deserve that,” or “You’re a failure.” And we take these statements as true without questioning them.

But thoughts come and go – and we never quite know where their origins are.

Maybe throughout your childhood you’ve heard parents, teachers, or other authority figures tell you “You’re not good enough,” and now your mind spits it back at you years later because it’s become so ingrained in how you think.

But that thought isn’t necessarily you, it could just be a byproduct of your upbringing, your environment, or a particular situation you’ve experienced in your past.

Cognitive defusion is a process of learning how to accept your thoughts while also detaching from them.

This is best illustrated through certain metaphors for our thoughts, such as “clouds passing in the sky” or “water running down a river.” These metaphors show us that our thoughts are always changing. They are temporary experiences that we don’t have to identify with or cling to.

And one great tool for distancing from yourself from your thoughts is to give your negative inner voice a name.


Give Your Negative Inner Voice a Name

When you give your negative inner voice a name, you automatically detach yourself from it by creating a separate identity for it.

It could be a simple name, like “Jimmy.” And then when you find yourself thinking, “You can’t do that,” or “You’re not good enough,” you can just yell back inside your head, “Shut up Jimmy!” or “Not today Jimmy!”

It seems a bit silly, but it can actually be a very fun and effective technique for better managing your thoughts.

We often have competing voices inside our heads telling us what the best thing to do is. We all experience the “angel-vs-devil-on-our-shoulders” phenomenon in some way, so it’s often easier to view it as a funny TV sitcom rather than a deep and tragic personal conflict.

By doing this, we teach ourselves that we can experience a thought without needing to take it too seriously or too personally. You don’t need to agree with every thought that enters your mind.

If you want to take this concept one step further, consider writing out a whole conversation between your “positive self” and “negative self.”

This will not only help you distance yourself from your thoughts, but also serve as a valuable exercise in introspection that can potentially lead to new insights and solutions to your problems.

You could also add a particular face and voice to your “negative self” to go along with its name. Really flesh it out as a fictional character living inside your head.

For example, consider drawing or sketching what you’d imagine your “negative self” would look like. The more specific and concrete you make your “negative self,” the easier it becomes to grasp and manage on a psychological level.

You can also have a lot of fun by changing the tone of your negative inner voice.

In how to let go of negative thinking, I recommend a simple trick of turning your negative voice into something goofy or silly to lessen its power over you. It’s difficult to take a negative thought too seriously when it’s in the voice of Daffy Duck or Gollum.

In many ways, our minds are a playground.

To better manage our thoughts, we have to sometimes be willing to play, have fun, and experiment. And creating unique names, faces, and voices for your thoughts is one powerful way to do this.


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