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The Power of “10 Second” Relationships

10 second relationships


Every time we leave our homes, there is opportunity for social interaction.

This is true even if it’s just something small – like talking to the cashier at a grocery store, or saying “Hi” to a neighbor, or complimenting someone’s shirt who you see on the bus or train.

Many of us try to ignore these mini “10 second” relationships. We see them as small and pointless. What’s the use in being friendly to someone if you’re likely never going to see them again?

However, a recent study shows that small talk can improve feelings of belonging and positive emotions. And another study discovered that when we force ourselves to talk with strangers, even when we don’t want to, it still provides an unexpected boost in our overall mood.

We often underestimate how much we need social interaction to feel happy and satisfied with our lives. This includes even the smallest types of socializing.

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Do You Talk About Your Problems Too Much?

talk about your problems


We all need to express our feelings every now and then. And it’s good to have people who will just listen and be supportive of us when we are feeling down and in the dirt.

However, there’s a point where you can talk about your problems too much – and even become addicted to your negative experiences and emotions.

For example, a recent study shows how we can sometimes become addicted to negative emotions like grief and disappointment. And another study shows how painful experiences can even activate “pleasure centers” in the brain.

Perhaps this is because we often prefer feeling “something” rather than “nothing” – even if it happens to be a negative and painful experience.

In the same way, many people depend on their problems and drama to feel alive and important. And they have to constantly talk about these problems and share them with others.

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Patience and the Healthy Expectation of Future Difficulties

patience


Our patience is strongest when we have a healthy expectation of future difficulties and obstacles in our lives.

Patience often comes with accepting that struggles and hardships are a part of life, and it thereby prepares us to face these struggles and hardships when they actually happen.

I don’t believe we should anticipate that everything is going to go wrong all of the time. Of course, too many negative expectations can become a self-fulfilling belief.

However, I do think we should anticipate that some things are going to go wrong sometimes.

Being optimistic about life is important, but it has to be within reason too – we have to accept the fact that sometimes things won’t work out exactly as we plan, regardless of how positive we are.

That’s what patience is all about.

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The Importance of Selling Yourself

selling yourself


Selling yourself is something that everyone needs to learn.

Whether we are trying to get a job, or get a date, or get a gig for our new band – our lives are filled with situations where we are seeking to persuade someone or “win them over.”

Often times “selling” comes with negative connotations. We imagine sales people as greedy, dishonest, and willing to say anything just to get a sale – but the truth is we are all sales people to some degree. And we need to be.

All selling means is to communicate the value of something. So “selling yourself” means communicating your value – and that’s an ability we can all benefit from.

The truth is it doesn’t matter how skillful or talented you are at something if you don’t know how to sell yourself to others.

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3 Sources of Happiness That Aren’t Tied to People or Stuff

sources of happiness


It’s incredibly important to find sources of happiness in your life that aren’t tied to people or stuff.

Because you can’t always depend on “people” or “stuff” to be there for you all of the time. So if your happiness is only tied to them, it’s going to be much easier to lose that happiness when they are gone.

People come and go. You probably don’t hang out with the same people you did 10 years ago, and you probably won’t hang out with the same people 10 years into the future either. Relationships change: people move, people change jobs, people die, or people just lose touch over time.

Stuff comes and goes. Your new car eventually breaks down. Your new phone eventually becomes outdated. Your new computer eventually stops working. You lose things. You forget things. You get a short high when you first buy something, and then it quickly fades away.

When your happiness is only tied to things that are always changing, you’re going to get easily caught up in the “highs” and “lows.” In certain times, it’s necessary to have sources of happiness that aren’t tied to anyone but yourself.

Here are 3 sources of happiness that aren’t tied to people or stuff.

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