Supernormal Stimuli: How Culture Hijacks Our Natural Instincts in Unhealthy Ways

Posted on by September 4, 2020

supernormal stimuli


Humans are unique compared to the rest of the animal kingdom because not only do we adapt to fit our environment, but we can also change our environment to better fit ourselves.

Technology especially has given us the ability to change our environment in many ways…increasing food supply, traveling faster and greater distances, expanded communication with people from all over the world, air conditioning, plumbing, garbage disposal, and mass-produced consumer products.

In many ways, standards of living have increased all over the world, and we are much richer and prosperous thanks to all of these advancements in human civilization.

Our modern world is very different than the one we evolved in for thousands of years. And due to this mismatch, many of our natural instincts that once served a useful purpose are now amplified and hijacked in unhealthy ways.

Supernormal Stimuli is an excellent book by Harvard psychologist Deirdre Barrett that breaks down the many ways our natural instincts have been hijacked by modern culture and society.

The term “supernormal stimuli” was first coined by Dutch biologist Niko Tinbergen in 1953 when he observed that you could create an exaggerated version of a natural stimuli that would create a heightened response in the animal being observed.

Animals will often choose the exaggerated stimuli over the real thing. For example, stickleback fish try to mate with a fake round-bellied model over a real egg-bearing female. Song birds will abandon their real eggs to sit on enlarged, fake blue eggs (even so big that they will continue to fall off). And male butterflies ignore a live female to try to mate with cardboard cylinders (that don’t even have wings!).

As long as the trait being amplified plays a key role in the animals’ primal urges, the animal will consistently choose the “supernormal stimuli” over the normal one. And humans are the same way…

In Dierdre Barrett’s book, she explores some of the central ways that “supernormal stimuli” have hijacked our habits and behaviors in unhealthy ways. Here are a few key takeaways.


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7 Grounding Exercises: A Powerful Tool For When You Feel Overwhelmed

Posted on by August 27, 2020

grounding


Grounding is a simple mental tool you can use at any given moment to become more relaxed.

The basic idea behind “grounding” is that when you find yourself feeling stressed, worried, or overwhelmed about a situation you can’t control, you “ground” yourself into the present moment by observing your immediate surroundings.

For example, one simple “grounding” technique is to look around and identify 5 objects in your environment. “Couch, dog, TV, book, laptop…” By doing this, you temporarily take your focus away from your worrisome thoughts and shift it to the present moment.

Grounding helps to reduce negative thoughts by shifting your focus outside of your mind and “busy thoughts” and into your body and “raw sensations.”

There are many different types of “grounding” techniques. Each is designed to shift your focus into the present moment in some way.

I’ll be sharing 7 types of “grounding” exercises here. Feel free to try out each one and see which you like best.


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Your “I’m Done for the Day” Meter: What’s Your Threshold?

Posted on by August 17, 2020

i'm done for the day


We all have an idea in our heads about what a “typical day” looks like. Wake up, go for a run, eat breakfast, take a shower, go to work, etc.

While our daily routine seems obvious, we aren’t always conscious of it, especially when days begin to blend into weeks, and weeks begin to blend into years.

Instead, we often take our daily routines for granted. We do what we do… because that’s what we’ve always done. And thus the logic behind our habits becomes self-fulling. We don’t analyze it or question it or change it.

This is why one of the first exercises I recommend to people is to create a complete list of your daily routine. You have to first step back and reflect on what a “typical day” looks like if you want to begin changing it.

Our daily routine isn’t just our physical habits either, but also our mental habits.

What type of thoughts do you have on an average day? What type of attitude do you carry with you at work, at home, at school, or with friends? What type of expectations do you have for yourself on a day-to-day basis?

Because your daily thoughts, attitudes, and expectations matter.


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Transcending Pain: The Body Is Only a Vehicle

Posted on by August 15, 2020

transcending pain


Pain is an inevitable part of life.

That’s an uncomfortable truth, but it’s an important one to accept. Because accepting that pain is a necessary part of life gives you the ability to start developing a healthy relationship with it.

What does it mean to have a healthy relationship with pain?

Of course, we’ve evolved to experience pain for a good reason. It warns us of potential harm and danger, so that we can avoid it in the future. The classic example of “getting burned by fire” teaches us to avoid a hot flame in the future.

In this way, pain is a wise teacher. It tells us when we are approaching our physical boundaries and limits, and motivates us to avoid potential harm and danger in the future.

When we experience pain, our natural instinct is to run away.

And that’s a healthy instinct in the right situation when it’s appropriate. However, there are also times when we must test the limits of our pain, and push forward in spite of pain.

In certain situations, we must push forward in spite of pain. Our ability to endure pain becomes a test for self-growth and self-improvement – a challenge to go beyond our limits and achieve something great.

Let me show you the key to transcending pain.


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Conversation Threading: How to Never Run Out of New Things to Say

Posted on by July 31, 2020

conversation threading


One common concern for many people, especially those with social anxiety, is “How do I keep a conversation going?”

Many people worry that they will run out of new things to talk about. And then that dreaded “awkward silence” will come in, and the whole social interaction will be ruined.

It’s important to be able to hold meaningful conversations with people – but it takes practice.

One powerful tool for improving your conversation skills is known as conversation threading. It shows you how you can take anything someone says and turn it into a new comment or question.

If you observe other people’s conversations, you’ll find that they rarely follow a logical sequence from beginning to end. Instead, we usually go in many different directions. We start talking about one thing and then we get lost in another.

Have you ever found yourself talking about something really weird with someone, and then thought, “How did this conversation start again?” That’s just one example of how random conversations can be sometimes.

There are infinite possible paths any conversation can take, so it’s possible to keep a conversation going forever without ever running out of things to say.

This is the essential lesson behind “conversation threading.” Now let me show you how to use it!


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