This is a guest post by author and life coach Joe Bellistri, who bases his teachings on a depth of real life experiences. Check him out!
Picture this…my wife, me, and 2 kids driving in the car. I’m in control of the radio (of course)! As I go from station to station, I am trying to find something to get us jamming. Then, suddenly, my daughter yells out “Keep this on!” And we now have a song to listen to. As a parent of 9-year old twins, I am VERY aware of the lyrics of these songs my kids are listening to.
I hear A LOT of the same songs. My daughter’s favorites are yelled out (by her…not me!) as we go. Over time I have been hearing this one song which lyrics really hit home. It’s called “Scars to Your Beautiful” by Alessia Cara.
Some of the lyrics include:
“There’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark
You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are
And you don’t have to change a thing”
Many readers of my content are people struggling with their past. The common theme is something that impacted them in their childhood and still affects them today.
“I wish everyone could become rich and famous so they can realize it’s not the answer.”
What’s your relationship with stuff like?
Are you someone who is always seeking more things – whether it be a new car, new phone, new TV, new video games, or new clothes? Do you find it hard to just be happy and content with what you have?
You’re not alone. In much of today’s culture, we are told to glorify our possessions and material goods. And the more we have, the more “successful” we think we are.
This idea that “more stuff = more success” didn’t come out of nowhere. According to Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things, our materialistic culture started at the beginning of industrialization and automation when we began to see a huge boom in commercial goods and nation-wide wealth.
In much of the Western world, we have an abundance of stuff. We have more products available to us at cheaper prices than ever before – and this can be a huge blessing, but also a huge curse.
Nowadays corporations bombard us with countless commercials and advertisements telling us that we need their new products and services to be truly happy. Every year there’s a new gadget that becomes the next fad – and we all want to have that gadget so that we don’t feel like we’re missing out.
This material abundance has fed into the whole “keeping up with the Joneses” mindset, which is when we constantly compare our fortunes with that of our neighbors – and we’re always trying to “one up” our neighbors by getting the next best thing before they do.
This materialistic mindset can be very unhealthy. It teaches us that material goods are the only real measure of happiness and success, and that can often distract us from other areas in our lives that are much more important.
Scholars often cite competition as the driving force behind important advances and developments in civilization.
That doesn’t make it easy, though. After all, everyone experiences some wins and losses in life, along with the lessons that come with them. With this in mind, how does one of the most popular forms of competition—sports—affect the emotional development of children?
The answer to this question is significant because children will be inheriting our world when we’re gone. Knowing whether sports can help or damage them should affect how we raise and prepare them for the day when they become leaders and game-changers.
Fortunately, psychologists have conducted several studies. We’re here to summarize some of them for you.
This is a guest post from Brady’s Eyes over at Eyes of an Addict, a fantastic site that aims to normalize mental health issues like addiction, trauma, and PTSD. Check it out!
They’re meant to be filled.
As human beings, we often experience that feeling of “emptiness.” Often this is covered with numerous material goods, which may help at the time, but does not last very long. Some people may resort to substances to try fill the void, others may resort to relationships, food, sex, gangs or even isolation.
More often than not, we would find that the void we so desperately try to fill cannot be filled by escaping or through external physical means. It cannot be fulfilled by change of demographics. We may try changing who we are in an attempt to fit in and even if we achieve a new feeling of belonging, the emptiness remains. The void remains. More often than not, the voids we seek to fill is because of our soul’s natural spiritual craving.
Now before we go any further, I am not referring to any set religion, although I feel that religion is a form of spiritually, I think it’s important to realize that religion may be effective for some, but it may not be effective for all.
Personally spiritually is having that external higher being I can rely on. An unexplainable higher power that helps me and serves as a reminder that, no matter what, I am not alone. Knowing and accepting that I can sometimes not do everything on my own and that I do need help. Putting one’s pride aside and asking for help is one of the most humbling experiences. It is a close-ness with a higher power of your understanding.
Spirituality is a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves.
One big indicator of mental health is not fearing any single thought you may have.
It’s easy to become obsessed with our thoughts – especially what we consider “negative thinking.” We try to wrestle with these negative thoughts inside our heads, or push them down so they just go away and we no longer have to think about them anymore.
But this aversion to “negative thinking” is actually a tremendous weakness.
If I’m being honest with myself, I’ve engaged in a lot of “negative thinking” over the course of my life. And many thoughts I’ve had were just downright scary, grotesque, and obscene – thoughts I probably wouldn’t want to share with anyone.
I used to believe that I had to completely eradicate this type of thinking from my life. I saw every negative thought as a symptom of my corrupt and sick mind, and I kept trying to find a cure so I’d never think a negative thought again.
However, my perspective on “negative thinking” has changed a lot since that time.
What I’ve come to realize is that it isn’t always the content of my thinking that needs to be fixed or changed, but my response to my thinking that makes all of the difference.