I believe there is a strong psychological power in using words like “God” and “prayer,” and I often use this kind of language to facilitate my own personal development.

I consider prayer a form of self-hypnosis. It’s a way to connect with our inner agent of change – our “God” (if you so wish to call it that), and in return we can use these powerful words and symbols to motivate ourselves to be better people.

About a year ago I was going through some spiritual and emotional turmoil. By this time I had already been practicing self-hypnosis for a couple years, and I was contemplating ways to make my practice more effective.

Before we begin, I should probably explain what hypnosis is to me. Hypnosis is primarily about language and the meaning behind language. Specifically, it deals with how we communicate ideas and suggestions to both ourselves and others.

For example, when someone is “highly suggestible,” a hypnotist can give a direct order and the person will probably act them out. They may suggest you “cluck like a chicken” and if you are suggestible enough you will follow through and pretend you are a chicken. Highly suggestible people make for great entertainment during staged shows.

However, hypnosis can also do something much deeper than just get people imagining weird scenarios and acting them out for fun. It can be an agent of real and powerful change that can greatly improve our lives.

A daily prayer is like a daily affirmation.

One of the most popular techniques in personal development literature is the use of affirmations. An affirmation is a suggestion you say to yourself on a frequent basis in hopes of creating a positive change in your life. Similar to a prayer.

For example, someone who has a short temper may want to use the affirmation: “I will be more calm and understanding when dealing with others.”

If they say this on a daily basis, with a clear focus and strong intent, they may find themselves acting more calmly and understanding to others. That is how affirmations work in a nutshell.

One of the books that first popularized the use of affirmations was Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich,” which was first published in 1937 (if you have ever read a personal development book ever, than you have certainly heard of this book).

However, the real origins of affirmations can probably be traced back to 19th century psychiatrist Émile Coué, discoverer of the placebo effect. (Coué noticed that he could improve the effectiveness of a drug by praising its effectiveness to his patients – another form of hypnosis or suggestion, but I’ll have to get more into this in later posts).

Coué’s famous affirmation was known as The Coué Method, which stated: “Everyday, in every way, I am getting better and better.” This was arguably one of the first affirmations, and it marked the beginning of personal development as we know it today.

Prayers are affirmation on steroids.

There is a lot of crap today about how to do affirmations. Some say as long as you read it 100 times a day and drill it in your head that they will work. I disagree. A meaningless affirmation repeated over and over won’t get you anywhere.

In order for any kind of suggestion to work, it must mean something and you must believe in its effectiveness.

If you go to Google searching for “daily affirmations,” you can find plenty that can help. However, the best affirmations are the one’s that come from your own creation, because they are the ones that are most meaningful to you – and that’s what really counts.

Similarly, in Thich Nhat Hanh’s book The Energy of Prayer, he emphasizes that a prayer is most effective when we don’t see its power as separate from ourselves, but a power that comes from within.

This is why I recommend you write your own prayers, which is really nothing more than a series of affirmations that best suit you and your goals.

An example of a prayer I wrote.

I’m going to write something on the spot, right now, to give you an idea of how your prayer might look when you are finished.

Let’s pretend I’m writing a prayer to help me improve my health.

Dear God,

Please give me the awareness and strength to make healthier decisions.

Before a meal, give me the awareness to know what I should and shouldn’t eat.

Throughout the day, give me the strength to exercise and stay fit.

Never let me forget that my body and mind are one,

And I must take care of both.

Thank you.

Okay, so I literally wrote this up in a minute, but the effect won’t occur unless I take this prayer seriously and read it on a daily basis.

The advice is simple and commonsense, but a quick reminder like this can help me cultivate healthier habits and take better care of myself throughout the day.

Here are some tips for making your daily prayer more effective:

• Use language that is meaningful to you.

Words like “awareness” and “strength” are important to me when trying to act healthier, so I made sure to include both in the prayer.

• Make your intentions clear.

You don’t want to send yourself mixed signals. Make sure you know exactly what you are aiming to achieve.

• Be focused when you recite your prayer.

Don’t just rush through your prayer. Minimize distractions and recite it with a clear and focused mind.

• Make it a long prayer or repeat certain lines.

My prayer was short, but I could have myself repeat it 3-5 times to amplify the effect. In the past, I have written much longer prayers, and this helps me to convey an even clearer message about what I want to change.

• Repeat it on a frequent basis.

Optimally, once or twice a day is best. But even just a weekly reminder can help reinstate your motive going into the next week.

Internal change vs. External demands

Some of you reading this may find this advice similar to Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret. However, I think there is an important distinction that needs to be made when talking about intentions and intention-manifesting.

Like I said earlier, the power of prayer is not something outside of ourselves. When we pray, we are not demanding something from the universe, but stimulating a change in ourselves to make things happen.

Sitting in a room all day praying cannot make you more healthy or wealthy all by itself. The idea is to change your mind first, and then your actions will follow.

You will know when your prayers are effective based on the results you get through your speech and behavior. If your prayer isn’t changing the way you act, then you need to change the way you pray.

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If you appreciated reading this, I invite you to join my newsletter to stay updated on new content. I also want to conduct some workshops in the near future on mental health and achieving your goals, and those on my newsletter will be the first to hear of the news (and get some discounts on top of that).

As always, thanks for your time.

I like having dreams. I am not afraid to follow them, and I think it is never too late to try and pursue something new unless you are resting on your deathbed cold and numb.

But who am I kidding? I am only 21 years old. I have so much time, energy, creativity, and passion waiting to manifest. I have the world in the palm of my hands. Yes, I really do – so why not aspire? Light the candles of my inner passions a little. Not just avoiding death, but living life. Let my rockstar come out!

Who is my inner rockstar?

If Carl Jung were here giving me some counseling – he would probably ask, “Who is your inner rockstar? What is his personality like and what are his values in life?”

Jung would agree that my inner rockstar is a construction of my mind: a product of my background, society, culture, attitude, and experience.

When I think “rockstar” a few key ideas pop into my head:

• Rebellion

Rockstars do what they want. They don’t take shit from anybody and if you try to suppress a rockstar’s will or desire, you bet he is going to topple over you to get to where he wants to be. This rebellious attitude is so often what impressionable children and teens find so attractive in rockstars.

• Exploration

Whether it is in the tour bus or sitting in the studio, rockstars are always exploring. Exploring new sounds, new themes, new artwork, new ideas. Once they put together a CD they begin touring; seeing new sides of the country, maybe even getting a chance to travel to Europe and Japan if they are big enough. Being a rockstar is both an exploration inwards (artistically) and outwards (socially).

• Spontaneity

Jamming on stage is spontaneous, meeting new people backstage, having fans come up to you in five star restaurants, trying to keep the fellow bandmates from strangling each other during another long bus trip. Living the life of a rockstar, you never know what is going to happen next. Life can be hectic, it can slap you in the face from time-to-time, but it is a sign that you are alive and in the fast lane. It may bring you moments of pleasure and pain, but they certainly won’t be dull.

• Leadership

Rockstars often have big egos, which isn’t necessarily a good thing, but it is a price to pay when you are put in a position of power. You are in the limelight. People and paparazzi follow you around asking questions and concerns. You have young teens and adults coming to your shows, feeling inspired, using your music as a gateway towards a more fulfilling life. In some ways, a big rockstar can be even more influential in shaping society than most politicians.

• Enjoyment

In the end I think a lot of people just want to become rockstars because it looks fun and enjoyable. Think about how much better your life would be if you got to do something that you absolutely loved each and everyday of your life. You’re getting paid massive amounts of money to play guitar, bang away on the drums, or scream into a microphone. If you have never had the urge to play an instrument before, or if you’ve never had the dream to make a living doing what you love…get the fuck out of here… you are lying (don’t take my harsh words too seriously – I am just in my rockstar mindset).

I don’t want to over psychoanalyze my inner rockstar. Just become more aware of it. I want to discover which characteristics about the idea resonate with me most. I want to activate that “little me” that has been hiding inside, as if it were a little switch in my mind that I could just flip ON.

Using archetypes to build character

Of course it would always be nice to be a real rockstar. But I don’t seek to be other people, I seek to be a better me. And using role models (even in the form of abstract symbols or archetypes) can help guide us in improving certain aspects and characteristics of our life.

Let’s say for example that I wanted to be more spiritual. I could consciously create an archetype in my head by integrating different aspects of all my favorite spiritual leaders. People like the Dalai Lama, Buddha, Gandhi, Robert Thurman, Thich Nhat Hanh, Lao Tzu, Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Osho, Mooji, Jesus, etc.

Then once I created this prototype of a spiritual leader, I can begin to extrapolate certain characteristics that I find are universal about it:

• Compassion and loving-kindness towards others.
• Dedication to one’s practice.
• Calmness and patience.
• Wisdom and acknowledging the unknown.

This is just a rough start, but as you can see you can create an archetype fairly quickly – just open up Microsoft Word and start jotting some things down. The idea here isn’t to yearn to become one of these other individuals, but to extrapolate a lesson from them. To use their example as an inspiration to be more like them.

I may never be a real rockstar…but it doesn’t matter, because the point is that what I really want is more rebellion, exploration, spontaneity, leadership and enjoyment in my life. That is where this archetype comes in handy.

Energy flows where attention goes

When I bring my inner rockstar into consciousness I am simultaneously giving it life. As the popular Huna saying goes, “Energy flows where attention goes.” Even just the simply act of writing this blog post is beginning to awaken these new facets of my rockstar being.

I could expand further by meditating on my inner rockstar – imagining him in different situations and how he might think and behave. This act of visualization is a great way to send attention (or energy) into different actions one can do to build character. In mentally prepares me to manifest these new rockstar tendencies throughout my day.

In particular, I believe that wakening my inner rockstar will help facilitate my motivation, allow me to take more risks and strive to achieve greater things, like stuff within this blog, in my social interactions, and in my daily habits.

Here are some fantastic ways to “draw energy” from your archetypes, some of which have already been touched upon in this article:

1. Write about them. That is what I am doing here.

2. Meditate/visualize/contemplate. Use your thoughts and imagination to awaken your mind to new possibilities and new ways to act.

3. Roleplay. May sound a bit silly, but by acting out your archetypes you are building up your neurology towards these new behaviors.

4. Integrate into your life. Can’t just spend all your time thinking, imagining, and role-playing in your room. Now it is time to incorporate these into your daily moment-to-moment existence.

Change only occurs through effort

Everyone who is involved in self-improvement is looking for that magic pill. Let me tell you what it is. Are you ready? Bring your face closer to the monitor…

If anyone could follow the law of attraction and be famous, successful, and happy…then everyone would be. But I am not going to sit here and tell you that using archetypes will change you over night. They require work and dedication to build.

The “Archetype Route” of growth and healing

All of that being said: I don’t think the “archetype route” for personal development is necessarily the best route for everyone. It depends on what you want to change.

If you only want to change a behavior – stick with habit-building techniques: 30-day experiments, classical conditioning, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and mindfulness.

But if you want to make a personality change you need to dive deeper. You need to learn how to see through the eyes of different minds.

Archetypes and role models are a great resource for that.

There was actually an old NLP technique I learned through an acquaintance (if anyone can remind me of the name of the technique it would be really helpful).

The technique went something like this: create a mental experience of an interview between you and a role model in your life (presumably some sort of expert). By asking them questions and filling in the answers (all in your mind’s eye), you would be taking part in a creative cognitive mechanism for solution-building. Theoretically, it could be used for any kind of problem-solving: business, relationships, health, or spiritual growth.

Humans are actually very good at dissociating from themselves and getting into the minds of others as an evolutionary trait (it is know as theory of mind). We love it. We do it all the time. Think about it: we even role-play every night in our dreams, and when we don’t get sleep for a long period of time we begin hallucinating.

Minds like to imagine things, and I think cognitive scientists should focus more research on imagination as a general mechanism for effective human learning. Even Einstein used a thought experiment (by imagining himself chasing after a beam of light) which aided in the development of his theory on special relativity.

There have also been some studies showing how dreams play an important role in consolidation of memories. It would be interesting to see what other cognitive benefits our imaginations may have.

Building archetypes should probably be considered an “advanced cognitive skill.” I don’t do them myself, but I know that they work and I know how they work.

However — I’m going to try and use this blog post as motivation to further explore the power of archetypes. Particularly this inner rock star idea. From a general standpoint in my life, I want to be more rebellious, explorative, spontaneous, leader-like, and just enjoy myself more. So I am going to continue to use this symbol as a tool of inspiration. I will try and meditate on it a couple times a week and see what fruits it reaps.

But depression is a reaction to a particular event or narrative we play out in our life.

Like all events, depression can only be experienced moment-by-moment. It is always moving, it is always changing, and we experience different ups and downs, but we conceptualize it as one big glob of gloom.

But this train of moments is not without a conductor. It is not like a rainy cloud, which we have no control over, following us wherever we go. Instead, we play an active role in the process, and there are effective ways to limit our suffering and move past strong negative states.

Gratitude towards suffering

Why be grateful for suffering? It sounds a bit counter-intuitive – but perhaps that is part of why you have not been able to let go of these feelings for the past few weeks, months, or years. You have not yet fully accepted them, and you have not opened your eyes to the wisdom your mind and body are trying to reveal.

There is something to be grateful for in regards to all emotions, not just positive ones. If none of us ever experienced suffering or depression or loneliness from time-to-time, we would never know when we are moving in the wrong direction, and we would never adapt properly to changing circumstances. Negative emotions are a signal worth paying attention to.

What disturbs can motivate us towards growth

When I was depressed several years ago my life turned completely grey. I can swear that when I look back at those times there was no color in my world at all. There was no brightness or zest for life, just dullness and apathy. It was my first year in college. I had no friends around. And being the incredibly introverted person that I was, it was difficult to make contact with anyone. I became a recluse, and I didn’t like it.

Being roommate-less and alone, I only left the vacancy of my dorm for two reasons: classes and food.

At least during those times when I left my dorm I was around people. But the most discomforting moments were the times laying in my bed, unable to sleep, and thinking how much longer this could last before I would have to end my life. When the thought first entered my mind I was shocked. I never considered myself someone who could end their own existence. “Do I even have the guts to do it?” I would ask myself.

It is within these deep states of contemplation where a catalyst for change can often emerge. I knew I had only a few choices: run away forever, die, or mend things back up and strive for the excellence in life I had always dreamed of.

How to see depression

In a recent post, I described negative states as valuable signs telling us what areas of our life we need to pay greater attention to.

At least, that is how my depression worked for me. My depression felt everlasting – I felt powerless – but when I dived into those feelings, thoughts, and memories, and I explored them with full intent, I noticed that my mind was trying to tell me something. It was telling me, “something has to change, this current path is unsustainable and you need to find what dissatisfies you so that you can overcome it.”

Depression became the cocoon to my butterfly.

Thus I began to search for clues; I turned my depression into a journey. I first began reading the works of NLP co-founder Richard Bandler, and his predecessor, the American psychiatrist and hypnotherapist Milton H. Erickson. These two had a refreshing perspective on mind. They saw it as an entity that is designed to work for you, not against you.

They saw all emotions, thoughts, feelings, beliefs as tools. They could be learned, developed, and understood like anything else. They weren’t there to contribute to your demise – they were there to benefit you – they were solution-generating.

These incredible thinkers also had a way of reframing problems into solutions: Depression wasn’t just a result of a poor or pathetic life, it was the first step towards happiness. This way of seeing mental illness short-circuited my brain, and blew my mind wide open.

Mental health is the development of skills

We perceive time as always moving forward, and this is what we call life. Consequently, things are always changing – we study those things and call it knowledge, or science. As sentient beings, we have the capacity to learn about these things, to retain them in our memory, and apply them to our life to improve conditions.

We are the only beings we know of that can adapt to change in such complex ways. We have thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, perspectives, values, and convictions. These are all tools. We can consciously use them in the same way a carpenter uses a hammer and drill to help make a building.

Like other tools, they are human inventions and imperfect – but they can get us to newer places when we use them in the right context. This can be hard work. Maintaining mental health is not an easy or passive process anymore than building a muscle at the gym is an easy or passive process. Whether you are reading affirmations or taking 1mg of Clonazepam every day, there are no magic potions.

Pathologically, many illnesses originate due to a variety of different biological, psychological, and social factors. While we can’t change our genes, we can change how they are expressed by changing our habits, our environment, our culture, and our relationships. Our destiny is not set in stone, we usually have enough flexibility to make things work.

Non-duality

I want to now touch on a more philosophical concept. Please take a minute or two to reflect on the Yin-Yang:

It is an amazing illustration on the play of opposites in our daily life. The dynamics and evolution of our being.

Note that even on the side of dark there is a bit of light, and on the side of light there is a bit of dark. I think this very strongly alludes to the concept of nonduality that is so prevalent in eastern philosophy. The concept is meant to illustrate that while two things may seem distinct and separate, they are actually intimately connected.

Instead of thinking of depression as a separate entity to happiness, we should see them as part of a single continuum (again, this is actually one of the key concepts I go over in my short ebook).

You can apply this concept to an array of ideas in regards to mental health and well-being:

• Depression is the first step towards happiness.
• Ignorance is the first step towards knowledge.
• Confusion is the first step towards understanding.
• Anxiety is the first step towards confidence.
• Hate is the first step towards love.
• Darkness is the first step towards light.

If you are interested in knowing more about the philosophy of non-duality I recommend this article by Bhikkhu Bodhi from Access To Insight.

Everlasting change is not only our friend but our nature.

The ideas in this post aren’t anything terribly new, but they are always revelatory when they are first discovered by an individual mind. In truth, this way of framing happiness has been echoed throughout the ages, and it is still being reiterated today in various forms (Buddhist psychotherapy, NLP, Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, etc.) It is also one of the most prevalent themes in this blog, and I will continue to write about it because I feel this is knowledge worth knowing.

Whenever we write we are embracing these ideas, allowing them to be expressed, and letting their energy flow through us onto the paper.

Throughout this creative process we too are changing. We are not only becoming more aware of our inner world of meaning, but at the same time we are given a medium to release these built up thoughts, ideas, stresses and desires. We are practicing a form of alchemy – by channeling our energies from something psychological to something material and tangible.

It’s a healing process

Like all forms of art therapy, writing can be healing; that is why I encourage everyone to pursue some kind of creative endeavor. It allows us to step back and put the world into perspective. It also gives us a sense of power and purpose, so we don’t feel completely swallowed up by our daily anxieties, stresses, and fears.

When we create we have something to be proud of, something to show for our efforts, and something that is distinctly unique and ours. This builds up our self-worth and inspires us to be more productive. Pursing any art has shown to do some incredible things for mental health, and it plays a big role in what Positive Psychologist Martin Seligman calls The Meaningful Life, which he considers a central component to happiness.

Carl Jung saw the manifestations of our dreams as ways in which our psyche maintains homeostasis and balance. I believe art and writing can have the same effect. This one video supports this point by showing how art therapy can be used effectively in treating those with schizophrenia.

Do a little everyday

Whether your thing is writing, painting, dancing, or playing guitar, try to do a little bit of it everyday. Think of it as your daily meditation or prayer. It is your way of provoking reality and creating a world of meaning and purpose.

Many people find it therapeutic to keep a journal or diary. Personally, I have been maintaining this blog since June of last year and I already feel ten times better mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I like to write music too, but writing is something that resonates with me at a level I can manage the best. It clears up my thoughts in ways that I find hard accomplishing with other arts. But, everyone may be a little different.

For many, pursuing an art or writing is a lot more fun and exciting than meditation. While meditation is about stillness and silence, art gives us a way to find tranquility through active expression. When you finish a piece of writing or art there is a wave of relaxation and comfort, not to mention a distinct sense of pride and accomplishment.

So for those who find it difficult to spend time on the cushion, why not turn to writing and art as a secondary form of meditation? It could even still be considered a spiritual practice. After all, who says we need religion and false dogmas? Maybe the true evolution of man is when we recognize that we can harness the same creative power of nature that we so often attribute to God. In a sense, our capacity for creativity and innovation may even make us out to be our own gods and goddesses. In this recognition, we are aware of our own divinity.

When we find something we love doing, it becomes much easier to be engaged in. And engagement is an important aspect to any meditative or spiritual practice.

A stronger sense of self

When we walk away from a piece of writing we have a stronger sense of ourselves. We are a part of the transformation and by the end of the process we have been re-born into something new.

And – isn’t this often the crux of any meditation practice? To increase self-awareness and to watch ourselves grow and change with time? Shouldn’t we all practice this to some degree, even if it is only to facilitate our own personal development and well-being? Just a few minutes a day of reflection and writing can aid one’s life in so many different ways.

The mental state of writing

When we are physically in the state of writing it is just like a state of deep contemplation. We become absorbed in the process of our ideas, thoughts, feelings and emotions. We then attempt to integrate them all in a way that reveals a clear message.

When I am in a state of writing that cannot be disturbed it is like I am in a trance. All my focus is concentrated on the task at hand and on accomplishing what it is I am setting out to do. All of my being is dedicated into channeling my energy outwards into my creation.